If he never calls you or asks you out, cut him loose

A short text to say you are running late or to say hello, is normal.  Even lots of texts might be normal, so long as, they are in addition to phone calls, email, and real dates out and about in the world.  If all you are getting is occasional text, and sex, you are not in a real relationship!  You are in a sexual relationship and potentially farther away from a relationship than you could ever imagine.  In fact, if you are engaging in a relationship like this, your chances of a real one with this person are approaching zero.

Don’t excuse casual relationship behavior

There is a reason why a man (or woman) is not calling you up on the phone!  Men collect texts and they never pick up the phone on purpose.  Texts keeps things casual, uncommitted, and allows them to delay getting back to you and keep their options open.  Text is really a horrible form of communication if it is the only form of communication.  Any woman who is putting up with a pure text (and sex) relationship is really getting played badly.  If this individual never asks you out on a proper date, you are literally condoning it by continuing the hookup style communication.

It is really easy to know how much a man (or woman) likes you!  You will know because they will follow up with you quickly, won’t disappear for weeks on time, will want to touch base and will want to spend time with you in the light of day doing fun things, or even just running errands with you.  It is really obvious when a relationship is just one between the sheets if you look for the basic signs.  The problem is since everybody texts all the time as a form of communication, you can delude yourself into thinking you have a real relationship blooming when you don’t.  When you have a relationship blooming, you know it!  This person actually wants to talk to you on the phone and spend time doing things with you.

If you want to be treated like a real relationship, the best thing to do is to put off the texts and let the person know they can call you.  Meanwhile, keep your texting with them in control and never talk about anything important over text.  For example, don’t make plans over text or let yourself be asked out over text!  Just ignore those texts and tell the person call me.  Then let the person know in person you prefer phone calls and if the person ignored your requests they are essentially disrespecting you.  If a man ignores your basic request for phone time, not just text time, you should not see him.  You have no idea how much heart ache, angst and trouble you will be saving yourself.

It is never too late to demand decent treatment from your partner.  Even if you have already established a text only pattern of communication, you can stop it at any time.  Just stop texting and responding to texts and let the person know to call you instead.  Let him know that the fact he doesn’t call you makes it obvious he is not interested in a tangible relationship and done.  When you allow someone to text you and then also engage in a physical relationship without actual dating, you are just being used for one thing.  Even if you think you can handle such a casual and demeaning relationship, in the long run, most people can’t handle it.  One person gets hurt.  Hopefully that person is not you.

You can only be treated as poorly as you allow yourself to be treated.  Even if you have to lose a few gorgeous guys (or pretty girls) over this, it will save you time because you won’t have to get emotionally damaged then have to heal from that.  Whoever is texting you for sex has already shown their true intentions.  You calling them to the mats for it, does not make you mean and it does not make you blow it.  It just makes you smart enough to have noticed the way you were being treated and say no to it.  Texts are a fun way of commination if there is actually a real relationship, but text is n substitute for phone calls, dates, and time spend together in the light of day.

Doesn’t call you ever? Or ask you out?  Cut him loose


Posted in Text Relationships | Tagged | Leave a comment