Dumped by Text Message

Getting Dumped by Text Message

Getting dumped on text hurts but in most cases the dumping is just a re-affirmation of what is already going on. The relationship probably had problems. The person might have been systematically fading slowly out of your life on purpose hoping you will get the hint. Finally, they lower the boom on text. Or, you finally piss them off and make them snap and they dump you by text in a state of anger. Few people are blindsided by text breakups. They usually see it coming but understandably are still hurt when dumped in this meanie manner.

It’s always a bad idea to respond negatively to the dumping. Don’t send a bunch of pleading, obsessing, begging, hystrionic, or threatening rants back to the sender, even if you are upset. Try to absorb this rude method of dumping and give yourself time to think about it. In some cases, you are getting treated this poorly because you were unable to take a hint prior to this. Once you see that you are being treated poorly don’t ignore the signs and stick around for more disrespectful treatment. The sender might know its rude but felt like he/she had no other choice because you weren’t getting it.

The best way to handle being dumped by text is graciously, or not responding at all. It’s ok to say you feel hurt but you don’t have to take it much further than that. If this is a person you care about you don’t want to burn all bridges with them should the potential to makeup present itself later. For some people they have to remove the person from their lives in order to realize they actually want the person in their lives by virtue of missing them. Don’t burn a bridge just in case the grass is not greener for them on the other side.

Give yourself some time to think about things and process how it all went wrong before you respond by text. Try to distract yourself with other aspects of your life such as work, cleaning house, beauty treatments, the gym, revamping your wardrobe, or other ways of bettering yourself. It might be lonely but if you back off a bit you are leaving two possibilities open. The first is that that your boyfriend or girlfriend will miss you now that they have their freedom. Maybe they won’t meet anyone else so quickly and miss you and regret the dumping. The second is that you will begin the separation process by staying in touch less and getting used to being back with your lonely self again.

It is depressing to get dumped by text but stepping back and not responding while emotions are running high is the safest response. Shhh. Don’t Text. When you don’t text, you are actually saying something too.

Doing the dumping by Text Messge

Are you considering dumping someone by text message? If you are about to break up with someone in this manner (via text) it is good to consider a few factors. If you have only been on a few short dates (no intimacy) for example, in the case of online dating situations, then you really don’t owe this person much explanation. You can tell them that you just are not feeling it and wish them luck. Generally speaking very early meetups resulting from online dating sites don’t usually involve alot of follow up. You can text something polite, yet making the point clear.

If you have been intimate (even after a few dates) it is better to break up over the phone. If you’ve gotten physical and weren’t too much of a coward to do that, then you should not be too much of a coward to let the person know nicely at least by phoning them, that it just is not going to work out for you. It might involve some hurt feelings and honest explanations but at least you are being respectful of another human beings feelings.

One night stands fall into sort of a gray area, where they happen in a flash and people are expected to understand that it won’t go anywhere. In that case, if you feel like you got carried away and suddenly this person thinks it was love at first sight, you are between a rock and a hard place. In these uncomfortable fling situations you may be the text coward to avoid reality, just try to be nice about it.

The longer you’ve been with someone (even if its casual) the more they are deserving of more than a stupid text message breakup. Try to treat them as you would like to be treated. It may take a little more effort, but you won’t feel like a total cad.

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9 Responses to Dumped by Text Message

  1. jingles says:

    make him addicted to you and then dump him by text message!


  2. Jasmine says:

    “In some cases, you are getting treated this poorly because you were unable to take a hint prior to this.”

    Wow … that’s got to be worst advice I’ve ever heard. I hope no vulnerable person finds this and takes it seriously.

    • admin says:

      Thanks for the thoughtful comment. That sentence was not advice however, just an observation. The advice would be that if you sense you are being treated poorly you can back off and opt to remove yourself from the situation rather than stick around and remain vulnerable to it. If someone is dropping obvious hints that they just aren’t interested in you, I think it is important to recognize that. Pursuing someone that does not wish to be pursued may open the door to disrespectful treatment. It’s good to be perceptive and look at and recognize what the other person seems to want is all.

  3. Tomasina says:

    My boyfriend spent 6 days with me on and off and the last day he went quiet and said he was tired, he then dumped me by text 3 days later saying he was sorry but he could not face me and he did not want to be in a relationship and that I was great and he hoped I could find what I was looking for and again he was sorry. He also said that there was no one else involved and he hoped we could stay friends. I didn’t feel that he was pushing me away until the last day. I have not responded since and that was 3 weeks ago. I realise that he was on the rebound when I met him 5 months ago but he is either lying to me and he is seeing someone or he really doesnt want a relationship in which case he should have had the decency to tell me to my face, the guy is 47yrs old. I assume that my no response to his text was the best course of action, I also assume that the wording in his text is him closing the door for good

  4. Dalton says:

    My girlfriend that i have known for 3 years very well now and dating for 3 months has decided that she doesn’t want a boyfriend when she goes to college soon. She told me that none of it had anything to do with me and that she was sorry. however, later she also said that it never felt like a real relationship to her and basically it was all a lie. she did it over text message and i have avoided her at school for a week now and all her friends who i thought might have been my friends but turned out to not really care too much about me. It seems as if my “friends” were really with me just because she was and were never interested in who I was either. They keep telling me that she’s very upset and wants to talk to me yet she never makes any attemps to even try. We’re both in the percussion section of our high school band so we have many of the same friends and enjoy many of the same things.Thanks for the advice. I was looking for something that could guide me in the right direction and tell me what was going on. Thank you

    • admin says:

      That sucks yet realistically your relationship may not have lasted rock solid through long distance and the college years anyways. It is a time for dating at your age. Did you know that sometimes high school couples get back together later on? I wouldn’t burn a bridge but I would look for new opportunities. Sounds like she took you for granted a bit also. She devalued you by saying it was all a lie then discarded and that is not nice but not uncommon either. You could read up on some alpha male stuff and work on your own dating skills. Just have fun and see what comes your way. Who knows, she may come back around on the college breaks you can’t predict. Go to the gym and work to feel better than ever, that will give her some regret of losing you and help you feel better about yourself more importantly. Lastly, whether you believe it or not, the world is set up better for men these days. Girls are at an advantage now but that shifts to some extent as you all get older. Try to be nice to the friends in common and at least civil to her. Tell her you care so she knows she can talk to you if she wanted to, let it go, take the high road and you should be fine…

  5. ant says:

    I’ve just been dumped by text for the second time, thanking me for my help and ‘take care’ which is code for goodbye but I haven’t the guts to say it. Was as nice as pie for 3 hours on the phone and we even snogged on a pub car park 10 days ago. The text was a week ago and today she is on datingdirect. I am annoyed with myself for spending thousands of hours thinking about her. All by the same person (a 41 year old who was a virgin at 36lol and has never lived with anyone) in a 5 year relationship after a year of getting back together 9 months ago. How can anyone be so cold and disrepectful of someone elses feelings?

    • admin says:

      Some people just are heartless, they have sociopathic qualities and lack the empathy that normals have…they don’t feel guilty and are concerned with their own comfort level. Sociopaths are literally wired that way.

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