#1 question Help we’re dating but his dating profile is still active!

It all starts with an Internet dating profile which leads to an exchange of emails which leads to a text message touching base which leads to a phone call which leads to more texting which leads to an Internet romance at its infancy.  The most common question I get is that women are dating their man thinking that everything is going well, but notice a gradual drop off in the phone calls and dates replaced be more and more texting and spur of the moment lets hang out plans instead.  Even the text messages start to dwindle.

Texts fading to a less frequent pace, go hand in hand with a still active Internet dating profile

Drum roll please.  What happens next is the woman gets insecure or shall I say on to the fact that her guy is fading.  When she questions him about it he usually claims busy-ness which buys him another month give or take.  Eventually though, it’s obvious something is up.  Then, the dreaded.  She takes a peek back on the dating site on which they met and his profile is still active.  He might have even updated it since they first started dating.

The classic Internet dating sob story

The classic story abounds on the Internet.  The hypothetical girl is crazy for a man she met on line.  They become intimate and on a night where they made passionate love twice, she goes home and happens to pop on the computer.  What does she see?  He is online at that very minute with an updated profile, even a new picture of himself!  It’s no surprise that the relationship ends.  But not until she drives herself absolutely bananas checking his profile status and having her stomach sink every time she sees the Active within an Hour status. 

Unfortunately, the story rings true for many women, and even men.  Most relationships don’t pan out so of course the people are going to wind up back online or continue to be online if you aren’t their ideal match.  With so many choices online they are enticed to do keep clicking.  Nobody every talks about what happens after you’ve met and began to date and even become intimate.  It’s that rocky ride when you don’t know if you’re just an Internet escapade and a toy to someone or really winning over their heart enough for them to want to get offline and have a go at relationship with you.

He is actively pursuing others while you delude yourself

This is the unfortunate thing about Internet dating is what we call the aftermath.  What happens after you make some sort of connection and the profiles are still active.  You waffle about pushing him or having that talk.  Being in a gray area with a man is what drives women crazy.  The questions about still active profiles often find themselves on the text air waves rather than in phone conversations or real life conversations where they would probably be more appropriate.  As a copout, both women and men might choose to start an uncomfortable topic on text message because women want answers and are afraid to pick up the phone and ask, and men want to avoid answers and are afraid to pick up the phone and provide them.

The are many more articles to come on addiction texting about how to tip toe through this still active online mine field in online dating which often gets carried out on text message.  When you fall for him and he is still actively pursuing others it can really lead to stalking behaviors so ladies beware. His profile still active can drive a woman nuts but that’s the reality. It may be that he is a player and your prince is really a frog. Or it may be that he likes you but thinks he can do better and continues to look for a better deal. Either way, if he still has an active profile he is still actively communicating with women on line and dating. Quit the drama over it.  Take that cold hard truth and do with it what you will. The number one law to always remember is this.

An active profile is an active profile. No excuses

If the profile is still active, then that is exactly what it is.  This person is still online actively looking for people to date.  That is your answer.  You are not exclusive.  And if you feel tenuous about your status with him and broach the subject, more than likely you will get pushed back and told that they don’t want an exclusive relationship as yet.  It may be in the form of we just met, we haven’t known each other that long, I have not bothered to take it down, and so forth.  But if his profile is up online, it’s up.  He is looking. 

Even right now your prince charming might be sending an email out to three or four women complimenting them and letting them know he is interested in them too.  Right under your nose.  I repeat again.  If they are online, they are online.  And until they are not online, they are online, and that means actively seeking out women while they are dating you.  And guess what, if your communications are starting to dwindle and they are busy, busy busy, and they are still online, then they are busy.  Busy looking for the one, and it is not you.

The active profile dilemma goes with the territory in Internet dating and text message communications, so deal with it

In the world of the Internet, a man really has to like a girl in order to take his profile down for her.  It is a sad truth but seriously that is the truth. Trust me.  If he meets a woman that knocks his socks off he will have no problem, zero problem, taking his profile down or hiding it for her.  He’ll yank it down if he thinks he has met someone good. If he is not doing that for you, he is still actively dating and looking for people therefore so should you.  It doesn’t mean you should drop him necessarily but it does mean that you should make your decisions accordingly.

What should you do

You could date him and continue to date others just as he is so long as your nerves can take it. Or, you can opt out if you feel like it’s driving you nuts. You’ll know it’s driving you nuts if you check his profile all the time or if you text message him more than he is you.  Don’t let his Internet dating antics drive you into becoming a badgering pest or mini stalker.  The minute you start to harangue him about being online you’ll get labeled a psycho therefore you’d be better off opting out of the competition because clearly, he is still online.  The fact that he is online gives you all the data you need to make a decision to hang in or opt out and there is little point to badgering him since he knows exactly what his is doing.  Be very cautious about getting intimate and continuing to have sexual relations with a man who seems to have no intentions of taking down his profile for you.


This entry was posted in EX gf and bf Texting Stories and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *