7 Texting Do’s and Don’ts in relationships

This article gives you 10 quick tips on texting that should help to improve your dating life.  The biggest tip of all is not to text when extremely angry.  Usually such texts could be the first death knell of your relationship.  Always wait until you are calm.  jealousy inspires the worst text messages ever so when angry try to take a baby time out before crafting a text and pressing the send button.

Don’t be cryptic

Cryptic and vague texts are annoying and easily misinterpreted to.  If you are going to beat around the bush then wait until you are face to face with him or her to say such things.  Texts leave a lot to the imagination, almost too much.  Therefore, when you send hedgy texts the other person is only going to press you about what you mean. 

Sending hedgy or dodgy texts can cause the person on the receiving end to get either really ticked off, or really insecure.  Either emotion can inspire and opening of the floodgates so don’t be surprised if you get way too many texts back in response to something sketchy you text.  Keep your texts clear and the intentions obvious to avoid misunderstanding and craziness on the other end.

Don’t make up abbreviations

Too many weird and made up abbreviations are obnoxious and after a while they will not be interpreted as cute.  Stick to the symbols and punctuation marks that people know and understand.  Unless you are a teenager, leave the juvenile emoticons out of the picture.  If you try to make up too many cutesy texting terms and abbreviations you will just look like a text addict.  Keep your texts clean and simple so you don’t look like you are sending gibberish to be tuned out and not taken seriously.

Don’t do Samantha from Sex in the City

Don’t go total Sex in the City with your texts.  It is too explicit and too crass.  Being a light-weight tease is OK but your verbal flirting will go over best if you keep it G-rated and clean.  If you do flirt, be open and honest about your feelings.  Flirty banter is fun but if it goes on and on you can get seriously carried away.  What you thought was a blast can become an unwelcome intrusion into his or her day. 

If you tease too much in the beginning of the relationship and then tire of it and back off, it can really create a stalker out of the other party.  You run the risk of raising their expectations way too high.  Then when you stop texting so much so you can get back to your normal life and responsibilities, they are going to have their feelings heart. 

People can get severely addicted to the attention you give them at the outset of a relationship and then when you revoke the attention later on they become a scrambling admirer wanting more and more and more like before.  If you don’t want to breed an unwanted admirer, keep the text count down, and keep the flirting to light occasional banter not all day back and forth.  Don’t be too much of a tease.

With Internet dating the temptation to get raunchy on text is huge.  Especially if you have chemistry!  You will find however, that once you “go there” before getting to know this person really well, it ruins the development of a relationship.  It turns it into a seedy hookup.  Save it for when you really know this person.  The fastest way to derail and wreck a potential relation is to get too up close and personal on text message before you really do know them.

People get carried away with the idea that they have met this exciting exotic and attractive person.  Just remember, this person you think is so great might have a significant other and be out cruising for a one night stand!  You have no clue what rock these people are crawling out from under and just remember that before you start gushing out intimate details about your private life to them on text message!

Don’t be angry

Rude and angry texts are the worst and they can really sour a relationship fast.  You can express general frustration with a simple Ahh, Grr, Sheesh, or Harrumph.  But beyond that, you better plan to hash things out later.  If you attempt to resolve a hostile situation on text that is the biggest mistake ever.  Hostile texts lead to nowhere in your relationship and don’t you forget it.

Never outburst on text message.  You will regret it later on and it will be a big mess to clean up later on if you have a change of heart and wish to soften up.  Sometimes you react in anger and then really lash out.  For women especially this type of vicious reaction will turn him off completely.  Sure it’s fun to be angry and feisty yet go out in the year and smash something or play sports.

Being rude on text message is very far from classy and the habit can really take over your personality to where pretty soon you just come across as a foul person.  Any bad language should be avoided at all costs.  It may seem appropriate for the indiscretion at hand, but in the end, it really just makes you look bad to stoop to that leve. 

Keep the swearing, curse words, obscenities and harsh criticisms out of the text air space and you will be way better off in your relationships.  If you pop off on text message, don’t be surprised if you are the girl (or guy) that never gets invited to their house, to their business meetings, or to meet up with their friends.

Do respond promptly

People like to play games with their response time to act like they are busy, don’t care, or aren’t jumping at a text.  If you tend to wait by the phone to get a text from him or her, temper down your enthusiasm.  Try to keep a level head.  On the other hand, don’t play ignoring games.  If you are excited to hear from them, respond!  Not responding can be a real turn-off. 

If you can’t talk then let them know you’re busy and will respond later.  Of, respond later and acknowledge their message such as Hey sorry, just got this.  The point is, try to be somewhat reliable with your responses, respond when you can, and don’t be a game player.  If you find a person is texting you too much you can let them know that you can’t respond to so many texts gently.  Just text them a little less and see if their texting pace calms down.

The best way to avoid crazy texting scenarios is to be fairly reliable about responding, temper your text pace so you don’t train them to expect texts from you all day long, and let them know when you just can’t respond.  The more straight up you are, the less chance that you will breed a psycho texter.  Be consistent.  Don’t text too much in the beginning of a relationship because when you back off later, you will develop a clinger out of the other person.

Keep a sane text pace throughout.  It’s never to late to change either. If the texting is out of control then let the partner know its gotten out of hand and try to temper things down.  If you are dating several people, stringing people along can make them act desperate and crazy.  Therefore, it’s best to be straightforward about your commitment level to keep their expectations based in reality. 

If a woman is really into you for example, even one text could make her crazy and fantasize about a bigger relationship with you than she really has.  The less you lead people on, the less crazy they will be in their response to you.  The easiest way to be is to be real, be consistent, and never be too obsessed with texting as a way of communication.

Do text sweet nothings

Texting sweet nothings is always a good thing, as long as it is done in moderation.  With everyone’s crazy schedule, just a little text that lets them know you are thinking of them is sweet.  If you like someone you could touch base with them just to say hi, and let them know you care. 

As with candy, sweetness is best when it comes in small doses.  Too many texts all day long comes across as obsessive smothering, not as a nice thinking of you.  If someone is texting you a lot for little to no reason, it is a sign that their interest level in you is very high.  You are popping into their mind throughout the day and they have the impulse to text.  If they keep such texts in check it shows they have good self-control.  If they text you all day long, they could be the obsessive compulsive and stalker type of person.

Texting can create a surprising and immediate sense of closeness so just remember that if someone cares they are going to be in touch fairly regularly.  As long is this is done on occasion and not constantly, sending sweet nothings is a good thing.

Do text to convey short messages

If you are meeting up for a date and already made plans on the phone, it never hurts to follow-up with a text message just to confirm and make the person feel comfortable.  Especially early on in the dating process, you want the person to feel comfortable meeting you and she or he needs to have confidence that they can rely on you to show up when and where you are supposed to.   Creating an easy and natural comfort with the other person is important and brings you closer.

If you are running late let the person know, so they know what to expect.  Most people feel more comfortable going out on a date if there was some sort of communication touching base immediately beforehand.  Keep texts light and fun.  Pre-date communication can be light and easy just to confirm plans you already made.  Don’t go into too much detail on texts.  Instead, lightly cover a topic and ask more questions when you get together.

Texting Do’s and Don’ts


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