4 Signs that all he wants is a casual relationship with you

What are the signs that all he wants is a casual relationship, she asks. Read on for the answer to this relationship FAQ. This article goes over four major signs that all he wants is a casual relationship with you.  A casual relationship means friends with benefits, hooking up, late night call, or intimacy buddy.  A real relationship means a boyfriend or girlfriend situation.  It is quite easy to discern which type of relationship he is setting you up, steering you towards, demoting you into, or trying to establish.  The problem is the sheer will and desire that women have to delude themselves when they want more than what he wants.  These tip-offs should set you straight and give a strong indication of what is up with him.

He texts you but not often

OK, if he did not text you at all, ever, then he obviously doesn’t want a relationship period.  Move on.  Now, if he texts you every now and then, or texts you back when you text him, or texts you every once in a while say once a week or so, then he is only interested in a casual relationship.

Men who want a relationship with a woman will make sure they contact her regularly.  This could mean every day or every few days.  Now if you’ve been lost in the land of casual relationships you can’t even remember when was the last time a guy called you daily.  But remember you should.  A man who is interested in a woman as a girlfriend makes contact with her regularly.  He texts her, he calls her, he makes plans with her, and he rarely lets more than a few days pass before he is talking to her again.  If he isn’t doing this, the relationship is casual.

Texts imply casual.  Are there other forms of communication happening?  Does he actually call you up on the phone?  Does he initiate texts just as often as you do?  Does he respond fairly quickly to your texts?  A man who really engages is a man who could see you as a girlfriend.  A man who strings you along and dribbles you just enough text crumbs to continue stringing you along as an option, is a man who is using you for a casual relationship.  Men that are into you text you, they don’t just disappear off the face of the planet until you text them.

Men say what they want in relationships without saying it in words.  You need to look at the behavior.  He he only talks to you through text and even then its pulling teeth to get him to text YOU, then take it as a very clear sign he only wants a casual relationship.  He is telling you not with words, but with his actions.

He has yet to introduce you to where he lives and you have never meet his friends

If you have never been to where he lives yet, and you have never met any of his friends, he only wants a casual relationship with you.  The longer he drags out keeping you isolated from his real like, the more he has to hide and the more he wants to ban you from it.

A man who really likes you will have zero problem showing you his place.  He will also have zero problem introducing you to his friends.  If you have never once been invited into his life, the relationship is casual.  When you first start dating you tend to spend time that is just the two of you, but rest assured you don’t live in a bubble.  If after a couple of months you still like in a bubble that does not include his place of residence and his buddies, the relationship is casual. 

If he insists on keeping you hidden in the broom closet, you can assume that not only does he not want you to be part of his life, but that he has something to hide.  This might be a girlfriend, other women, lies he has told you, or the fact that he doesn’t think you are in his dating league and won’t be seen with you.  Usually it is the case that he has told you many lies by this point and can’t afford to bring you around his friends and have somebody slip up and spill some beans.  If you live in a bubble with him after several months of dating, it is a very clear sign that he is only interested in a casual relationship.

After he has become intimate with you, the dates stops

When you first start dating a man, you really don’t know what sort of relationship you are in for.  During this get to know you stage most men manage to act like they are really interested in a possible relationship with you.  It’s a warm and fuzzy they are into me feeling that you get.  Please note that early in dating a man is on his best behavior.  Inside his calculating mind however, he is sizing you up as to whether you are relationship potential.  He is exploring what type of relationship he wants to pigeon-hole you into, if any. 

You may not know what his real intentions are until after you have been intimate because he is so caught up in the initial chase that everything seems like it’s a go.  He likes you.  If you notice however that after he really gets intimate in you his interest drops off, it is a clear sign of where the relationship is heading.  During this time period you usually grant him hundreds of get off the hook excuses for any pulling back he does.  But trust me, a man who wants a relationship with you is not going to yank back and blow you off for a week or two after intimacy.  He is going to do the exact opposite and make further plans with you.

If dating stops and all of a sudden you really haven’t seen the light of day with him for a while, this is a clear sign of a casual relationship intention.  If you are hanging out inside, getting a video, watching television and fooling around it is casual.  If you are only hearing about his weekend on Sunday or Monday after it has pretty much happened, it is casual.  If a weekend slips by and he hasn’t mentioned about any plans or a date, it is casual.  If you never seem to go out in public anymore it is casual.  If he won’t ditch a dime and take you out even for a slice of pizza, its casual. 

If he can’t bring himself to spending the day with you, its casual.  Men who are into girls want to spend their free day with her.  They will do errands, shop for things they need, visit friends, take care of things.  No matter what they are doing they will want her around on Friday or Saturday night because that is their main free nights.  If the only environment you see yourself in is a room with four walls and a bed, the relationship is casual and that is how he wants it.  Think back to the last three times you saw him.  If they all involved being inside a room together and not going anywhere or seeing anyone he knows, the relationship is casual.

There is no follow-up

They say the biggest indication of a mans desire to have you as his girlfriend is how soon after he sees you that he gets in touch again or asks you to do something again.  Men are not stupid and they know that if there is a girl they want as a girlfriend and whom they respect, they need to keep in contact.  The day after intimacy they will usually follow-up and touch base.  They won’t be able to stop their own urge to check in and touch base. 

A man that wants more than a casual relationships will definitely keep in touch with you and initiate a text or some sort of contact almost daily or every couple of days.  If he simply drops off the map after seeing you, it is a clear sign of him defining and treating the relationship as casual.  In casual relationships the man steers clear of your emotional well-being and expects you to take care of your own needs.  This means, you will get the vibe of a carpet being yanked out from under your feet when you see him.

That proverbial carpet yank will not occur with a man who is interested in more than a casual relationship.  The carpet will stay firmly under your feet and he will follow-up dates by making more plans to see you.  This wheel of contact will continue and continue. 

In a casual relationship you see the man and then its like the wheel goes flying off the car.  He will disappear for a week, maybe even more than a week.  It’s a complete blow off is what women do not realize.  He wants until you contact him and then he acts nice.  This is a casual relationship setup.  He takes zero responsibility for you emotional stability or well-being.  He will disappear off the map and do his own thing. When you finally break down and contact him, he acts nice and comes in for the kill again.  Then, he is gone. 

In a casual relationship you will inherently feel this carpet being yanked out, this disappearance act, this pull back, this rip-cord feeling, this emptiness and the ph no where did he go insecurity will set in.  Seriously there will be a sick to the stomach, pit in the stomach that you will be repeatedly trying to rationalize away, justify and explain to yourself.  You will invent excuses like he can’t be smothered, he just broke up with whoever, he merely got busy at work, he wants to take it slow.  All false.  He wants a casual relationship with you period.

Obvious signs he only wants a casual relationship is that his texts are not reliable, you live in a bubble of never knowing his friends, the dates have fallen by the wayside and its you and him in a room mostly, and he doesn’t follow-up and give you the ping-back that you need to feel secure that yes he does like you.  Men offer security freely to women they want as their girlfriends. They do not offer this to women they do not care about. 

Please remember that men like to establish sexual partners to tide them over while they look for the real thing.  They do this by carrying on casual relationships.  They get intimacy while keeping themselves open to looking around.  If you allow yourself to because their stop-gap, they expect you to take full responsibility for you actions.  There will be little emotional comfort and when they find someone younger, hotter, and more loaded than you they will disappear on you with short notice. 

Casual relationships are really rather hostile when you think about it.  They are about people serving their own needs and hoping that the other party is in it for the use too.  For men, it is a business deal that can work and fulfill a need.  For women, a casual relationship usually winds up being a horrible business deal.  At best, you get to sleep with the best looking guy you have ever seen in your life on a semi regular basis so long as you don’t ask him for a single thing.  At worst, you become a veritable hole that gets unceremoniously discarded as soon as he locates someone he deems worthy of a phone call, a date, introduction to his friend group, and with whom he deigns to have regular followup contact after having plans.

Warning signs of a casual relationship


This entry was posted in She Asks and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *