He’s just afraid of getting hurt
This is what women tell themselves to justify away a mans jerky behavior. I think most men will admit that when they meet someone they really want to be with and spend time with, they are all in. Being afraid of being hurt is not going to stop a man from pursuing a woman he is truly interested in.
A woman who is seeing the writing on the wall, that the man she is dating is not as serious about her as she is about him, uses this rationalization. She rationalizes his non-ability to get into anything real. She finds excuse after excuse, even ones he has never ever thought of, to justify the fact that the relationship is not moving forward.
Surely, some men move along at a slower pace in relationships. But rest assured that if they are smitten by a woman they will move heaven and earth to spend time with her. Men are not afraid of getting hurt but rather they are afraid of making any commitment to women who at the end of the day, they can’t see themselves being with long-term.
He’s not ready for a relationship
Men certainly do get into relationships and they do it rather quickly, if she is the right person for him and he truly feels that way about her. That’s why you see men dragging their feet with one woman, refusing to commit. Then, they meet another woman, and within a few months they are engaged and committed like never before!
When men aren’t ready for a relationship it generally means that they can’t see themselves getting serious about you. They might like you, but there are certain traits that make them simply unwilling to commit. Men are ready for relationships, just not the ones they don’t wish to be in. When a man isn’t sure about a women, he will generally text drive her for as long as he can before committing to anything.
While some men test drive to ultimately buy the car, most do not. A prolonged text drive makes it more and more likely that he will commit to you, although there are always exceptions to the rule. I believe that when men say they are not ready for a relationship, the truth of that statement of more closely linked to the fact that they aren’t ready for a serious relationship with you.
He just broke up with somebody
It’s true that if a man just got out of a marriage or a long-term relationship, they may be less ready to get right into another relationship than say, a guy that has been single. But it’s not a hard and fast rule. Look at Brad Pitt he was fully married when he fell in love with Angelina Jolie and had zero problem leaving a marriage he was in to be with her.
Conversely, a man that’s been single indefinitely could be a bachelor set in stone, for all you know. It’s not so much their status, e.g. whether they’ve been single coming into a relationship with you, or whether they’ve been in a serious relationship just prior to meeting with you. So long as he is unmarried and not in cohabitation with another woman, he is available.
I think women make excuses for men who claim to be just out of a relationship and unable to commit to anything. At the end of the day, if he falls for you and truly is interested, he will move heaven and earth to make things work out with you. Whether he was single and dating, or previously in a relationship, really doesn’t matter. What matters is your relationship with him, and how he feels around you.
Men take advantage of women a little bit when they use the whole I just got out of a relationship excuse. It gives them justification to date without any sort of commitment. If you fall for this just understand that you may be coming up with the short end of the stick in the end.
Generally speaking, a man is all in or all out. Sure he won’t get married overnight however if he really likes you, he won’t have a problem becoming your boyfriend. The past is the past and those relationships are ancient history if he wants to be with you. If a man dates you for months and months and months, or years, and never becomes your boyfriend, it’s because he just doesn’t want to period. His ex girlfriends or previous relationships don’t factor in at that point, unless of course he is still in love with one of his ex’s.
He wants to take it slow
Men who give you this excuse, are usually trying to slow down the relationship intentionally. You’ll find that when a man wants to slow down the progress of a relationship he will become less and less available and become quite busy on you. He may still want to date you, so he will keep in touch, but his availability will go way down.
He will sometimes respond to you, and sometimes he won’t. You’ll be left wondering on weekends because every now and then he will fit you into his schedule and every now and then he won’t. If he is already having intimate relations with you he may wish to keep that going for himself so he may not drop you completely. Instead, he will just strangle you out to a slow ebb, where you are grappling to get his attention and he is giving you just enough crumbs to keep you hooked.
Generally speaking if he wants to take it slow, he just isn’t interested in you. Slow is good at the outset, but six or twelve months in, slow actually means no. That signifies low-interest levels and you should not make up a bunch of excuses about how it’s because he just got out of a relationship and so forth. A man who is interested in you for real is not going to want to take things slow, he is going to want to spend more and more time with you. It’s really hard on women to face rejection, or face the fact that a man could be sexually interested but not authentically interested in anything more than that.
The sooner a woman stops making excuses for a man she is dating, the sooner she finds out what his real intentions are. To expect a man to commit after just a couple of months is ridiculous on the one hand. On the other hand, if he is not seeing you regularly and inviting you to his house and having you around his friends, he is not interested in a relationship. If you notice that your entire relationship with him exists in a bubble and you haven’t met anyone he knows, it’s not a relationship. Don’t make excuses, just see it like it is.
Men have a bit of a tendency to take advantage of whatever the woman allows him to get away with and whatever she is willing to tolerate. He will string you along endlessly. He will become busy and reduce how much he sees you to keep a relationship that’s going nowhere, going. It’s really up to the woman to decide if she is comfortable getting strung along. He’ll do whatever he can do, and it’s usually her who has to put a stop to it, not him.
The sad irony is that men don’t even respect women who they can string along, so accommodating him just winds up hurting you even more in the end, not to mention the time waste. When you meet a man who is truly interested in you, all this nonsense just washes away. He is going to be present and it’s going to be obvious to you that he cares and wishes to make time to see you.
Men are busy, this is true. But you’ll find that if he is really interested in you, you’ll hear from him quite often. If he’s blowing you off, disappearing, going silent, not asking you out anymore, or going incommunicado, it’s usually not because of his business. It’s because he is putting you off. Maybe there is someone else, or maybe he is putting distance between you as a means to an end to slow down your relationship from going anywhere.
When a guy is not going to get serious about you there are usually fairly obvious signs. You’ll find him making plans to see you less, and having excuses more and more of the time. If it feels like a distancing, it usually is. Women often see the writing on the wall, or have those gut feelings and women’s intuition, but they fail to heed it. Instead they make excuses and excuses for him and create rationalizations as to why they aren’t being treated well. The bottom line is, he isn’t as interested in you as you had hoped.