Are you obsessed with him or obsessed with her? Are you addicted to text messaging him or addicted to text messaging her? Follow this simple texting contact tip and you’ll put your relationship back on the right track. Remember, that you only want to contact him or contact her as much as they want to contact you in return. By keeping a level communication balance you may be saving your romantic relationship. Let your relationship develop organically and stop trying to control it by being an aggressor.
The once in a row rule
When you are dating him or her you don’t want to be so petty that you keep score. Keeping score can create resentment. For example, if you start keeping score about who contacts who first and who does what for whom. Keeping score and then harping on it can be a real turn off. That being said, if you find yourself way over the top lopsided and contacting your boyfriend or girlfriend substantially more often than they do you, it’s a real problem. A lopsided relationship can develop and that’s the point at which some very simple score keeping is actually in order. It’s called the once in a row rule. Apply this rule when you need to get a lopsided relationship back on even keel.
Never call more than once in a row
Try not to call him or her once in a row. If you’ve called and left a message there is little point in calling again and again. Many a lover has made the obsessive mistake of repeatedly calling and calling the object of their obsession. This makes you come off as aggressive and emotionally needy. Place the call and leave a short and sweet message. If they aren’t going to call you back then that is their problem. Leaving ten voice-mails in a row when they aren’t even bothering to return your call is never a good idea.
Never text more than once in a row
Don’t text and text and text message them when they aren’t even returning your text messages. Let’s say you had a date and proceeded to text the person multiple times every single day for a week or more. And in all that time they never bother to text you back? That is not right. Don’t do all the heavy lifting. Text once and if they don’t care to return the text well then you have your answer. They are busy or not interested in you. Don’t repeatedly text them.
Never email more than once in a row
Never e-mail him or her more than once in a row. If you send an e-mail or message on facebook or myspace or another social network including dating web sites, you don’t have to send one after another. Don’t send long winded e-mails that talk about issues, your feelings and other matters of the heart. These generally don’t go over well and such conversations are better suited for communicating in person. Remember that if you start communicating feelings on e-mail then you are starting up a conversation with them that they didn’t even agree to engage in. Don’t e-mail someone over and over asking them if they have read your e-mails and why they aren’t responding to you because that’s annoying as well.
Never ask more than once in a row
Generally speaking, people hear something the first time you ask it. Let’s say you ask someone to do you a favor. Ask once. If they don’t respond then they aren’t willing to help you out or be there for you. There is little point in asking someone to do something twenty times. Don’t ask for things more than once or twice in a row because it essentially turns you into a nag. Granted people who are busy might forget about requests and a polite reminder can jostle their memory. However asking for something more than once or twice is just over kill.
Never complain more than once in a row
Complain once and do it succinctly. After that leave it alone. Let’s say you had a tiff and your romantic partner did something egregious in your opinion. The temptation is to continue to complain about that incident to them. Every time you have a disagreement this issue gets dragged into it because you bring it up to them. Such complaining does little good. Try not to complain and complain. Get it out one time and be done with it. If you keep harping on things whether by text, e-mail, phone or in person it will become a form of nagging. The issue that you had will be forgotten and your partner will just focus on your problem of not being to let it go. Don’t let valid concerns that you have turn you into a problem of being relentless nag in their eyes.
The once in a row contact rule may help correct a lopsided relationship
If your relationship is getting lopsided and you’re doing all of the work then it’s time to do some simple score keeping. This is not petty, nor is it meant to be a way to manipulate him or her. This is merely to try and get your own aggressive pursuit behavior back in check. You don’t have to follow the once in a row rule to the letter however if you start to apply this rule you’ll find that your relationship will get back onto a more even keel. It’s just a self check to get yourself to stop chasing him or her.
It’s a known principle that if you repeatedly jump through hoops and give your all to a person that is not even responding you devalue your own time. You’re training the other person to know that you’ll sit there wasting your own precious time making noise while they can just ignore your existence.
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