Are you in some sort of relationship with a man that includes sms texts, intimacy and some calls, dates and meetups sprinkled in? Here is the basics. A texting relationship does not a committed relationship make. If you have been seeing/texting/sleeping with a man for say three months, and he has not called you his girlfriend: He probably never will.
This is really, really hard to hear for most women. Essentially, if you’ve been seeing him three months and he is not calling you his girlfriend, then you are not his girlfriend nor is it likely that you will ever be his girlfriend. The reason this is such an important point to make is that texting friendships and connections can keep you at text finger point in touch with a guy for months on end and in reality you may not be in a relationship at all. But it feels like you are, because you are texting.
Texting gives (women in particular) a horrendously false sense of illusion of closeness to the person. It sort of feels like a relationship because you text all the time. More than likely, you text him more than he texts you. And texting is a great way for him to keep you around and in contact with him while he pursues any other options he feels like when he feels like. But you need to face it, if he isen’t calling you his girlfriend after 3-6 months at most, you aren’t. You are in a text relationship. Text relationships are usually go nowhere non relationships.
Actually go nowhere is even a hard term because they usually do go somewhere and that is to the bedroom out the door and then directly to heartbreak if you actually liked the guy and became attached. So, going nowhere in essense, means going nowhere good for you in the long run.
Texting relationships can be anything from relationships that don’t exist at all anymore (you just pester someone on text they rarely reply and really don’t care) or you could be a booty call or you could be a fu-k buddy or you could be a friends with benefits or you could be a one night stand or you could be a fling or you could be one of many or you could be unknowingly hiring a prostitute or a theif or lair or a crook even, but what you are not, is a girlfriend.
This is good information to know because knowing that you are not his girlfriend (or boyfriend) and likely never will be, might help you to temper the text messaging insanity. You might be able to see that you are just filling up some boredom, having some friend, have a long term friendly text banter going with this guy. He might actually like you enough to go out or hook up when it suits him, text you back every now and then, but you are not his girlfriend and no amount of texting or not texting him is likely to change it.
It’s sort of like, the relationship plane takes off when you either first meet someone or make a conscious choice to try it with them after knowing them a while, or it doesn’t. Some relationships develop out of friendships, but just texting does not a friendship make. Keeping a text friendship psuedo connection going with a guy can serve certain purposes for a women. Boredom, company, companionship when you are busy with errands or child care etc, loneliness if you work from home, don’t get out much, going through a divorce or separation, etc.
If you keep a text relationship going with someone it’s always good to stay rational and realize it does not mean you are this persons girlfriend or even that you are in a relationship at all with this person. You’re just texting. Passing time. If that’s something that suits both people at a certain point in time then it work great to have a texting buddy. Sometimes it’s a guy and a girl whose personalities just sort of click on text and they keep in touch.
Women who want real relationships, and particularly those that are at a committment age where they want to find someone, develop a serious relationship, have a family, have children etc. are the ones at real danger of falling into being text string along non girlfriends. If you’ve got something at stake such as your child bearing years for example, be very careful about stumbling into a false sense of hope just because you have a text buddy and occasional hookup.
If you are passing through a horrendous event like a divorce etc and a text relationship suits you then fine. But just be warned that your text friendship status can become highly addictive and when its time to move on with your life to real relationships and real people that you actually see and don’t just text, you might have an addiction problem on your hands. You can also get really hurt because one of the texters may leave before the other is ready to have them too, and then you get one person still texting and harrassing the other all the time.
So, if you are texting but not being called the girlfriend then you aren’t the girlfriend and assume that you never will be. Knowing that discusting hurtful truth, decide if you are inclined to waste texting time on a text friendship because it suits some emotional purpose for you for the time being. Texting relationships are sort of like comfort food and during lonely spans in life they can help. But be aware that attachments develop and you might find yourself falling in love with your text pal while he could not even give a real damn about you.