Are you being sized up for a casual relationship?

Texting is the new preferred method for communicating with girls for guys with the pick up artist mentality. Old fashioned phone calls where you actually get to know the person are like a thing of ancient history these days. A bad boy may try and establish a romantic relationship with you without ever picking up the phone to call you. He’ll just text.

If you were to go to a web site that has seduction tips for men, you’d come across all sorts of rules on texting that men try to follow. These tips tell men to keep texts simple, keep grammar decent, use jokes but sparingly, know that she divulges details to her best girlfriends, don’t over think things, be vague, less is more, and the list goes on. And do you happen to know what category this information comes under? It’s the how to act with girls you want to get involved with.

Why do I bring this up? Because when it comes to dating someone new you can actually glean some pretty key information from the text style of a man you are dealing with. Watch the pattern and find out if he is a game player or if he is a man who has a genuine interest in you. Texting can tell you so much about interest level and just where your fledgling romance is heading.

The first thing to recognize is that men are on their best behavior when they first come onto your radar and they are going to be following the dating rules pretty well if they are attracted to you and want to date you. That being said, temper your reaction to his behavior with a Zen like patience at all times. This isn’t the real him. This is the him on his initial best behavior. You won’t know the real him until after you’ve gotten romantic and you see how he abandon or does not abandon his good behavior.

If a man really likes you he will definitely be on your text radar and texting you the how are you texts to check in with you. He might be texting three other women too, but at least you’re in the playing ring.

Random hello’s are always a good sign, especially after dates have happened. If you go out and a man really liked you then he’s pretty much guaranteed to send you out a text because he can hardly help himself. If he is smitten, he will text. Here is the thing about the random hello’s. If they only come once a week or less, this man may be dating other women and your interest level in him should drop accordingly. If he really wants to get to know you then you’ll hear from him more regularly. Probably every day to two he will text you.

If you are not getting phone calls interspersed with the texts, or asked for plans, this person has little real interest in you. He might just be keeping you around for when he is in a romantic mood. When you first start dating someone you have to assume that they may be dating other people as well. If you have nerves of steel, you can keep a mildly interested man around in your texting back yard. But if you are the devoted girlfriend type you won’t be able to handle it. You’ll want a man that demonstrates very clear and consistent interest in spending time to get to know you.

Flakiness behavior on text usually indicates a general lack of interest in you. If you have lets maybe hang out plans and you never hear from the man when you were supposed to really hang out but he does surface days later then you probably are not a priority on his radar. Again, if you have nerves of steel you can keep a man like this dangling around and do to him what he does to you, which is to touch base on occasion. But if you are sensitive and searching for serious relationships only, you likely won’t be able to handle it.

Are you only being texted? I’ve had a man try to go from some internet email exchanges to lots of text messages to a meet for a drink. He thought it would be emails to only text until we met. I went along with it yet wound up despising him. I wrote him off after the first date even though he was attractive and seemingly nice in person. I told him I didn’t care for his text only venue and that I wasn‘t interested in a man that didn‘t make phone calls. Weirdly enough, he became obsessed with me and texted me for a long time after that! Eventually, he faded away thankfully. Months and months later, I even got more emails from him, though never a phone call. Guys can act rude and then when you write them off because of bad behavior they somehow become interested. Doesn’t matter though because once a man demonstrates disrespectful behavior it is unlikely his behavior will get better from there.

The biggest warning about being pursied by texts is if he always gently steers the texts towards flirtation. Now if he is your boyfriend, it may be ok because teasing one another can be fun and good. But if this is a new man in your life, then texts focusing mostly on flirtation are usually a very bad indicator of intent. He’s may be sizing you up for a romance and not truly interested in getting to know you. If he were, he would want to talk on the phone with you. Never get flirtatious with a man on text too soon. It will only lead to awkwardness when you actually go on a date. And also he’ll be inclined he is going to get somewhere with you romantically and therefore he won’t treat you respectfully from the get go. Once a man has learned that he can misbehave on text message with you, you can never retrain him. That’s the bummer about men. Once you let them misbehave you just never get it right after that. And that’s how you get your heart really broken sometimes.

So, watch out for negative text patterns. Basic warning signs are if he only texts you, it’s a bad sign. If he responds flakily to you meaning slow text responses and indecisive about plans and following up with you, its a bad sign. If you aren’t exclusive then always assume he may be dating other women. If he directs text messaging conversation to being too flirtatious before he knows you well enough to be doing that, it’s also a bad sign. Those are your three biggest warnings.

So while he’s sizing up your boundaries on text you should be likewise sizing up his real interest level in you and acting accordingly. It’s absolutely critical to know your own emotional strength. If you have a black widow personality you can date like a man, and string men like this along with indifference get them more interested in you. If however, you are sensitive and need an emotionally caring man to feel safe with, then block a man who only texts out of your life literally as fast as you can. Because he will hurt you if he does not even have enough interest level and respect to be calling you on the telephone.

Know how you are emotionally and don’t lie to yourself. Watch his texting pattern and size him up just as fast as he’s doing it to you. Then, make your decision. Text safely and watch your emotional health. If you start to obsess or agonize over texts going on with a particular man, watch out because you might be heading for heartbreak trouble with that man. A man who is genuinely interested in you will call you not just text you, and he will stay in touch with you consistently not intermittently. Men tend to treat women however they demand to be treated. So if you find yourself treated with disrespect you may need to work on strengthening your boundaries. If you only tolerate courteous behavior that is what you will get.


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