Are you in love or lust? Only text messages will tell.

Are you in love with her, or is it just a case of healthy lust?  Although lust and love are intertwined inextricably, there are serious differences between the two.  You need that initial lust and without it, it is doubtful that your love with her will have a chance to prosper into a long term relationship.  

Text clues that tell you if its lust or love

If she’s just an interlude or late night call as they say then the minutia ultimately won’t matter.  If you looks at your text patterns with her it will likely reflect how you’re feeling.  If you text more than talk, it’s lust.  If you go for days and weeks without texting or talking, it’s lust.  If you easily ignore her texts and it takes you days to respond, it’s lust.  If you plan dates on text at the last minute, it’s lust.  If you text in the wee hours but not during normal daytime hours, it’s lust.  If you argue on text, disrespect her on text, or call her names, it’s lust.

If you text her to say hello, it’s love.  If your heart jumps when she texts, it’s love.  if you find yourself saving and re-reading her texts over and over, it’s love.  If you talk about things other than flirting and physical, it’s love.  If texting is just another way you communicate when you aren’t able to talk, it’s love.  If you’d rather call her than text her, it’s love.  If you think about how you’re treating her and whether you’re making her feel good, it’s love.  If you’re available when she needs you and not always claiming you’re busy, it’s love.

If she has serious girlfriend potential then treat her right

Every girl should be treated right and if its just lust you’ll want to let her know when you know that its not going to get serious just to be fair to her.  But if she has many qualities you desire you might want to let things roll for a while and see what happens.  Sometimes you fall in love with a girl you just casually see, so can’t always predict the outcome of a relationship since women can surprise you with a slow burning romance.  Just when you think you’re done she might throw you for a loop and keep you hooked. 

When you first meet a woman to whom you are extremely attracted, chances are you will throw all caution to the wind.  You won’t know if she’s the One or just a passing dalliance and you probably won’t care just so long as she gets your blood boiling.  The danger of a strong lust is that you won’t be thinking clearly.  All you care about is unlocking the key to her mind and body and you don’t think about how you are acting.

If its love then everything from your dates, text messages, memories and how you treat her will matter.  If she’s just a passing fancy then it won’t matter how things play out.  Just remember that if she’s someone that you could really fall for then it is important to be thinking clearly.  You want her to fall in love with you too in this case, therefore you need to pay attention to what is going on in the relationship even in the initial lust stages.  Some of the things you do together can become lasting memories from the first date, the first kiss, and so forth.  You have to stay in tune with what she’s feeling.

If she’s a girl you really like don’t let your lust turn you into a puppy dog that will do anything for her.  On the one hand you don’t want to be at her beck and call but on the other hand you don’t want to treat her as though she’s easily replacable.  If you don’t care what she is saying or doing or even whether you have anything in common then she might not consider you to be boyfriend material.  Remember, she’s thinking too.  The problem is that if you lose all reasoning you’ll come on to her too strong, or perhaps treat her thoughtlessly.  She’ll start coming to her own conclusions about whether she likes you as well.  Catch your breath and step back for a second. Be sure to have your brain screwed on straight so that you have control of your romance with her, just in case it’s love.

Signs that it’s just lust

If you’re overly focused on her looks and body and fantasize about what it would be like to be intimate with her, then you’re definitely in lust.  If you don’t really care about anything she has to say then it’s lust.  This is evidenced by whether you can go easily and painlessly for days without talking to her.  If its only lust you don’t bother to return her text messages or phone calls promptly, until you’re feeling frisky again.

Another sign that you are just in lust is that you can invent excuse after excuse as to why you can’t spend time with her, except of course for sex and intimacy.  If its just lust then when you have to be with her without intimacy she gets on your nerves.  If it’s only lust you’ll find yourself still fantasizing about and actively pursuing other women when she’s not around.

If you tend to slot a woman into just being what they term booty call or friends with benefits or casual relationship or on/off romance then it may be only lust.  If you find yourself calling her at 2:00 in the morning after the clubs close but never during the day then you might just be interested in one thing.  Do you hang out after being intimate?  If the only thing on your mind is to get out of there after being romantic then it may just be lust.  You don’t do the cuddly, hang out or stay for breakfast?  You don’t run an errand with her or help her out from time to time?  Lust.

Signs that it’s love

You might be falling in love with her if your initial lust slowly evolves to some deeper feelings.  If you have incredible chemistry with her both between the sheets and when you have conversations then it could be evolving into love.  If you can get lost in talking to her and time passes without you looking at your watch or cell phone, love is in the air. 

If you have amazing chemistry with her that eclipses that which you have with other women it might be love.  It goes past just sex because you’ll text her on a regular basis and you won’t mind talking to her about her day or things going on her life and vice-verse.  If you’re falling in love she’s beautiful to you whether she has makeup on or not.  You’re still attractive when she’s in her sweats or sleep clothes, not just when she’s dressed for a hot date.

If you want to spend more time with her then it might be love.  Another clue is that when she’s not around you miss her.  You’re life wouldn’t be the same if she were axed out of it.  Obviously one of the biggest signs of love is that you start letting her into your inner circle.  You introduce her to friends and family and start making plans that always include her.  That’s when you know you see a future.  Giving her flowers on a first or second date is one thing.  Giving her flowers after you’ve known her for a while just to be romantic or make her feel good is another sign your feelings for her are deepening.

One of the biggest signs that you are moving from lust into love is that you always have her back.  You actually care about her and would defend her to friend, families or enemies.  Right or wrong you take her side.  If you love her then you’ll find her challenging and you’ll try your best to make her happy and be good to her.

From the short term to the long haul

You never know who you’ll fall in love with.  Sometimes you’ll fall in love at first sight, other times you’ll fall in lust and then fizzle, and yet other times you’ll fall in lust and that will slowly evolve into love.  Lust is short term fun and love is for the long haul.  You might not know where a relationship is going from the outset.  But as things play out you should be able to tell whether your initial lust is going to evolve into love or whether it’s going to fizzle out.  That’s why you’ll want to treat her rather well and make memorable moments that count just in case she makes it to girlfriend status.


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