Are you texting a sociopath?

Are you having a problem with your significant other?  Do they lie to you, cheat on you, break plans, fail to keep promises and generally drive you crazy?  Are you texting them because of that?  If you are prone to obsessive text messaging, nothing will bring this bad habit out of you more than dealing with a sociopath will.

If you are texting like crazy, for example, sending him(her) 100 texts explaining how you don’t like to be let down or lied to, it is your fault.  It is your fault because you should not text someone nonstop.  Nobody should push your buttons so hard that you go into a texting oblivion. 

But let me say, there may be something unhealthy about this person and/or the relationship that is making you text like crazy.  If you’ve never been a crazy girlfriend or boyfriend before and suddenly you are, you might be involved in a relationship that is unhealthy.  It’s bringing out the worst in you and making you act crazy.

If you think you’re normal and have been turned into a lunatic texter by your signficant other, it’s time to opt out.  Nobody is worth turning yourself into a stalker-like person.  Believe it or not, it can help your text problem to deal with your partner as though they are a sociopath.  Because in many ways, they might be acting just like a sociopath. Sociopaths make you crazy like there is no tomorrow in dealing with them.  Sociopaths lie pathologically and have no capacity for empathy.

If you’re turning into the insecure pursuer, confused and messed up, it’s time to step back.  Stop texting and try to see the relationship for what it is.  The person you are texting might be making you feel like everything is your fault and it isen’t.  You may just be in an entirely unhealthy relationship.  If your girlfriend or boyfriend is inspiring you to act in an anti-social manner than it’s time to break away.  You shouldn’t be with someone who makes you text like crazy, makes you upset, makes you sad, makes you rant, makes you call them over and over.  You might think you need them, but what you really need to do is get away from them.  

Believe it or not, if you are texting obsessively, it can help to start thinking of your partner as a sociopath that is making you act crazy, and treat them accordingly.  Here are some tips for dealing with a sociopath.  If you follow them, it can help you get away from a guy (or girl) who is driving you crazy.  You can cure your texting addiction.

Get professional help

If you are acting stalker-like and pursuing someone that is treating you hot and cold, pickup you up and dropping you, and always disappointing you, assume they are a sociopath.  Get help for yourself.  If you get some counseling it can help you deal with things.  A counseler can show you how the relationship is unhealthy and instead of trying to cling onto it, clamour after it, or change it, you should be letting go of it altogether.

Cease contact

Sociopaths have an uncanny way of manipulating you, using you, exploiting your weaknesses, and casting you off with no remorse when they find a better opportunity.  They are unreliable and irresponsible partners.  If you find yourself texting obsessively it may be in response to someone really playing with your emotions.

If you cease contact then this person cannot manipulate you or make you feel insecure or bad about yourself.  Obviously if you work with this person or are married to this person or have children with this person it is hard to cut contact completely.  But you can minimize it.  Cutting contact (as opposed to texting) is tough to do but once you get through some days of no contact it gets easier.  Think of it as quitting heroin.  This partner is treating you poorly, which in turn is making you act your worst, yet still you are going back begging for more.  Why because they are like drug addiction.  Cut contact and cut the addiction.  Plus, you won’t be texting like you’re the one with the mental problem.  They won’t be able to accuse you of being crazy either.  Double win!

Stop giving out information

If someone is pushing all of your buttons it means they know what buttons to push.  They’ve watched you and assessed you and they know what upsets you.  If they know that you get really upset when they cancel plans at the last minute, the moment they get resentful or angry the first thing they are going to do is cancel plans. 

If you want to stop letting this person upset you and set you off, stop giving them information.  Don’t give them personal information about yourself and they won’t have anything with which to emotionally manipulate you.  Know what your weaknesses are and don’t let your sociopath signficant other know about them.  Believe it or not, some people get a sadistic glee watching you go crazy over something.  Remember that negative attention is nevertheless attention.  Stop giving them attention.  Stop giving them information.  Stop giving them your weaknesses on a silver platter.

Pay attention to your gut instincts

If something doesn’t seem right about your partner then believe your instincts.  Does he (or she) let you down, lie about things, or have they cheated on you?  Do they not show affection, emotion, or remorse when they hurt you?  Sociopaths have a stunning lack of conscience and are very impulsive.  They will often cheat and lie with little or no thought of the consequences.  They are all about them and what they need at that moment.  They don’t think ahead about who they might be hurting.  

Sociopaths are also able to dump you and move on quickly and painlessly.  They just line up another victim while still dating you and when they have something else lined up they gleefully dump you and watch you squirm and writhe in pain.  Anyone who gets pleasure in hurting you is not someone you want near your life.

Someone that is inconsiderate and has no conscience is not likely to change.  Driving yourself around in circles texting them, trying to change them, snooping on them, or trying to be what they want, won’t help.  You’ll never be good enough for a sociopath and that may be what is making you so insecure and what is making you text him (or her) obsessively for affirmation.  You won’t get it.  Sociopaths are users, very clever, expert liars, and always out for themselves not you.  They don’t care about your well-being.  A sociopath does not care about the emotional wreckage they leave in their wake.

Do not try to reform a boyfriend

Never try to reform a bad boyfriend or a bad girlfriend!  It is total folly.  The site Baggage Claim says it all because the author says never try to fix a partner from the ground up.  You’ll end up with years of negative equity and the next person that gets him/her is the one that reaps all the rewards.  Thats when you hear all these stories like why did he string me along then commit to her.  You were the one who hung in there and trying to change him and convince him to be serious with you.  But he chose her.  You would have had a better chance treating him like a sociopath and cutting ties.  Then you wouldn’t be acting crazy trying to deal with him.  If he wanted to get his act together he’d have to do it without you nipping at his heels bugging him. 

If you engage in trying to change him it increases the chance that you will be living in a fantasy relationship of what you hope to have with him, rather than a reality relationship that reflects what you really have with him right now. Don’t hope that he will be better or hope that he will revert back to how he was when he was courting you on his best behavior. Instead, be realistic. How he is treating you now is how he is and reflects what the relationship is. It’s too easy to stay involved because you think you can change him if you just do this or that. That’s a relationship based on hopes and imagination not a relationship based on reality.

Don’t bother to text and convince a boyfriend that they need to do this or that.  Don’t promise to do this or that.  Don’t even talk about it.  Just watch what they do and how they treat you and if they treat you like garbage then leave rather than trying to stick around and reform them.  If you aren’t being treated right then do not maintain contact.  Do not try to teach them how to respect you because they won’t learn.  Teach them that you will not tolerate crazy making behavior.  The beauty is that you’ll leave the relationship before you’ll ever let them turn you into a co-dependent nutcase.

Don’t blame yourself

Don’t blame yourself if you’ve been dealing with a sociopath.  He will deliberately manipulate you and make you think all the problems and reasons the relation is not working out are your fault.  It’s not all your fault.  He thinks he can find a better deal so let him.  It takes two.  You didn’t just text out of the blue.  It may have been in response to being treated hot then ice cold.  It may have been in response to rejection.  It may have been in response to being made to feel insecure.  Regardless of what turned you text obsessed, its not always just your fault.  It takes two.

Sociopaths always blame the victim and put responsibility for failure onto the victim and that is how they operate.  You aren’t all to blame.  If you find yourself texting one person obsessively it is time to stop.  This particular person may be unhealthy for you.  For whatever reason they are not into you enough to sustain a healthy relationship.  Their rejection, or their behavior in general, may be crazy making for you.  Treat them as a sociopath that you need to get away from.  This will definitely help because when dealing with a sociopath the best thing to do is to cease contact and steer clear of them.  This strategy will help you disengage from the relationship.  It will help you stop with obsessive texting.  It will help you get distance.  It will help you get your sanity back. 

If you are a totally normal person and someone you are involved with is making you crazy you need to realize its an unhealthy relationship for you and remove yourself from it.  No person is worth acting crazy for, no matter how perfect you think or thought they were.  If they are making you crazy, they are not for you.


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3 Responses to Are you texting a sociopath?

  1. Marj says:

    Very very helpful. Thank you.

  2. Sarah says:

    Thank you. This website is really great. Finally I might start to regain my sanity and leave Crazytown for good.

    • admin says:

      Sociopath personality guys are hard to deal with. They are usually handsome, fun, and fickle as ever. Because they always have other options you get the feeling you are hanging on like a thread with them. And since you’re already emotionally invested you don’t want to leave and become a casualty. Trust me once you detach for a while your sanity will return. You’ll probably be sort of depressed for about 6 months, then after about 8 months you will start to function more normally. This person could weigh on your mind for a year or more very easily. Just do your own thing and get into your own groove for a while. You will definitely be fine just give it some time and lower your expectations.

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