Are you texting him in vain?

Has your man told you that he is not interested in a relationship with you right now?  If he has, this means he is not the man for you.  He is not the man you should be text messaging either.

Many women think they can convince, text, chase or change a man into wanting a relationship with them.  So they set about texting and texting and trying to do favors, send naughty photos, impress, sex up, tell jokes and give their all to get their man to pay attention and change his mind.  Total waste of time. 

Once a man tells you he is not interested in a relationship, the best chance you have of getting him interested in a relationship is by pulling the rip cord and kicking him to the curb.  Yeah, you might lose him to someone else in the singles world but who really cares because he didn’t want to be in a relationship with you. 

Instead of wasting weeks, months or years and years invested in a relationship you cut yourself free.  Yeah, you gotta go through the breakup blues but you are far better off getting out when he won’t commit to even a relationship with you.

Compulsive texting problems are often caused by the hope or desire that you can chase a man (or woman) down and get him to be in a relationship with you by sheer constant pursuit.  If he doesn’t want a relationship and you are convinced that he is your soul-mate or the One, it is a recipe for texting disaster.  You’ll wind up as the pursuer spinning your wheels and getting absolutely nowhere.

If your man does not want a relationship but you do, and you find yourself becoming a clingy needy texter as he pulls back and tunes you out, pay attention.  Rather than text him crazy, you might want to realize a few points.  These points will clarify for you the type of man that is not worth your texting time no matter how addicted to him you are.

He’s claims he is content being a bachelor

If a man gives you excuses for not committing even to a basic relationship, save time and give up.  If he says he is content to be a bachelor, or is spending time on Internet dating sites while simultaneously seeing you, it’s time to cut bait.  As much as you think texting him and acting all cool and low key will help, it won’t. Women are rarely happy in casual relationships. If you walk away, he might actually notice you!

He flat out tells you he doesn’t want a relationship

This is a biggie!  If he flat out tells you that he does not want a relationship then give up the pursuit!  Stop texting him.  If you continue to chase him and will do anything to be in his presence you will wind up being a booty-call, sex buddy, friends with benefits, or on again off again lover.  You won’t become his girlfriend. 

If he says he doesn’t want a relationship then respect yourself and take a hike as far away as possible.  No matter what a dreamboat he is, you will set yourself up for being used if you hang around with puppy bowl eyes like a begging doggie.  Don’t get involved (and if you are already involved don’t stay hopelessly involved) because if you do then you get oxytocin bonded and he just gets to use you while you don’t get what you want which is a relationship.

If he says he doesn’t want a relationship, then what it really means is that he doesn’t want a relationship with you.  If you accept crumbs don’t be surprised when you get strung along then viciously ditched for a new women who he suddenly wants to have a relationship with.

He tells you that he has a girlfriend or that he is seeing other people and its looking like he plans to continue doing so

This should be obvious.  If he tells you that he has a girlfriend or wife then he is telling you he is unavailable.  He might be willing to cheat on his girlfriend or wife but do you really want to be the other woman?  Don’t do it because no man is worth it no matter how hot.

If he has been dating you a couple months and you are involved but he is still continually dating other women or remaining active on dating sites, it looks like he’s not willing to stop what he is doing for you. Revoke the time he is spending with you and see if he shapes up and stops chasing other women. Odds are he won’t, but if you allow yourself to be dating while he searches to trade up, you’ll be driven crazy. You’ll also be dumped by text the second he finds a better opportunity.

He tells you that he just got out of a relationship and not looking for anything serious

Don’t waste your time.  If he tells you he isen’t ready to jump in, believe him.  Let him waste some other women’s time getting his rebound in.  Tell him when he’s ready to give you a call and in the meantime try to find someone who doesn’t have an excuse.  If you think you can wait it out until he gets over his ex and is ready for something real then dream on.  Divorces can take years.  Getting over heartache takes years. 

Moreover, if a man really falls in love with you, he will want to get into a relationship with you no matter how soon prior he just got out of a relationship.  Heck he might even leave a relationship thats on its way out to be with you.  Brad Pitt fell in love with Angelina Jolie and he committed to her even though he hadn’t even finished getting out of his marriage. 

If he’s into you, he’ll make himself ready for a relationship.  It won’t matter how soon his last relationship ended.  When a man says he just got out of a relationship and isen’t into anything serious take it to mean he just wants to sleep around (with you if you are willing) with absolutely no strings attached.  Run.

He won’t put a label on your relationship and avoids such discussions

If a man hems and haws and won’t put a label on your relationship and call you a girlfriend, then he is definitely not your boyfriend and probably never will be.  If he says Let’s hang out, Let’s take it day by day, or Let’s play it by ear, that means lets delay being in a relationship because I don’t want to be in one with you.  I want my freedom to look for other options because you may not be the best I can do for myself.

He only comes over late at night

If a man only comes over late at night you are a booty call and the furthest thing from being in a relationship that is humanly possible.  He doesn’t love you and he doesn’t respect you.  You are a nice warm hole.  No strings intimate relations seem intriguing.  You might rationalize, I need this, or I can’t help it I am too attracted.  But once he gets his love claws into you it will be like heroin, and bad heroin at that.  You will be stuck in the twilight hell of bootycall-ville, and your ego will take the biggest beating it ever has. 

He compartmentalizes you

If you’ve been seeing him for six months or more and you have never even seen where he lives at or been brought around his friends, home, work or real life, its time to take a hike.  Men who compartmentalize you don’t want to be with you.  A man that is into you will introduce you to his crew.  He will call you when he is supposed to.  He will spend time with you.  He will introduce you to his loved ones and his friends. 

If you are having a cozy romance in an isolated bubble it is a major red flag!  He has made a decision to compartmentalize you and you will never, ever make it out of the compartment.

He’s secretive

If he is secretive it’s a sign that there are other women lurking under his secret little curtain.  If he hides his cell phone faster than a lightening bolt, there is another woman.  If he disappears and does the Houdini act vanishing out on dates and plans he made with you, there is another woman.  If there are two hundred texts coming into his inbox or showing up on his phone bill from an unknown number its probably not spam, it’s a woman.  If you send him 300 texts and he’s too busy to respond you may get a response alright, from his real girlfriend telling you to stop texting her boyfriends phone.

If you don’t know anything about his real life, rest assured it is because he expressly does not want you to know anything about his real life.  If you feel like you are being hidden, you are!  If you have become the police and find yourself having to chase down clues and background check this person, he is hiding something.  Don’t bother to send three hundred texts accusing him of hiding something. 

Are you starting to background check and facebook snoop and google search and dating sight monitor and photo comment monitor this guy?  If he spouts lies and leaves you with a sense of unease and distrust that turns you into the psycho snoop police, cell phone snoop, etc, then red flag!  Trust your gut and get away.  If he wants to show back up and include you on things then you’ll know he’s for real.  A real relationship guy doesn’t have to hide his phone and take it to the bathroom with him when you two are together.

Men that aren’t worth texting

If your man is exhibiting any of the above traits it means he really is not in a relationship with you and may never be.  The best way to save your emotional health from annihilation is to stop texting such a guy, stop contacting him, and stop chasing him down asking him what he is up to.  It won’t work. 

If you like him, tell him that this doesn’t look like a relationship and if and when he gets his house in order he can drop you a line.  In the mean time, heal and get yourself together.  Try to meet someone new.  You’re killing two birds with one stone because you are salvaging whatever self respect you’ve got left plus increasing the chance he will show back up willing to offer you more. If you’re already his doormat and never read this article until now, it’s never too late to draw a line in the sand and say no. Once you draw a line you must stick to it otherwise he’ll know that if he ignores you long enough you’ll cave in and start texting him.

If you keep texting a guy and he doesn’t text message you back go back to the top of this article and rinse, later, repeat as many times as necessary to know you should not be texting him.


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