Bothering your busy boyfriend with text messages

The first thing to pound through your head is that if your boyfriend or that man you just started dating really likes you, it will be obvious.  He will ask you to do things, ask how you are, respond to texts, make plans with you, show you where he lives, introduce you to friends, and go out of his way for you.  If he doesn’t like you or views you as sleep worthy but not date worthy, you will get none of the above.

99.9percent of the time, if he is too busy and you wind up bothering him, he is a guy that is not interested in you enough for a relationship and nothing that you do or say will change that.  Men just make a decision in their head and then boom, you are categorized as treat like sht, casual dating materia.  So, what should you do?  MOVE ON!  What if you refuse to see the writing on the wall?  Waste a little bit of time trying these 5 manuevers just to make sure you aren’t the one that is an obsessive lunatic.  If they fail – MOVE ON!

Know when he doesn’t want to be contacted

Figure our your guys schedule because there are going to be certain black out times where is you bother him during these windows of time, he is going to get finicky, dismissive, and downright mean.

The most common black out time is during the work house.  Men get busy working, and you don’t want to bother them incessantly or even at all during work hours.  If they contact you its fine however don’t drag him into a million texts at every contact lest he stop contacting you because he knows it involves getting sucked in to long conversations.

Watch his schedule and don’t text when you know he is busy.  Also, watch when his blackout periods are.  A guy who can never see you on the weekends is a guy who will never, ever be with you.  He probably has a girlfriend, other personal interests, is dating others, or doesn’t even like you enough to spend some weekend time with you!  Figure out when he is busy and try not to bother him during those times.

Gear the texts towards when he can respond

If there is a time to text him when he is happy to hear from you, try to text around that time of day or week.  Call him at reasonable times and don’t bother him during the work hours or when you know he is playing sports or whatever.  If he is responsible and happy to hear from you, that’s usually a good time to text. If he doesn’t respond, don’t continue to text him.

Avoid being nosy

Avoid being nosy because men hate that.  They like their little secrets, their man time, and the feeling that they are important and that their time is valuable.  Don’t waste their time obsessing, interrogating, going in circles and second guessing them.

Just know, that if your mind is playing these sorts of games on you, trust your gut.  Something isn’t right. When something isn’t right, its useless to nag on him about it.  Nagging will just drive him away and give him an Eww feeling about you.  If you have a nagging feeling that he is up to no good, and it doesn’t go away, consider leaving the relationship.  Nine times out of ten, when you are suspicious, you have a darn good reason to be.  He’s presumably the one deceiving and/or lying to you, so torturing him about it likely won’t help. 

Trust him … until he proves untrustworthy

Trust him because if you start off on the wrong leg, he is going to label you as a suspicious psycho or stalker girl.  He will be turned off by needy, clingy or insecure behavior.  In fact, he will be more likely to pursue a girl who barely acknowledges his existence.

A lack of trust is going to damage the relationship.  Dating experts suggest that you operate on the three strike rule where trust is concerned.  Trust him but if he violates that trust make a mental note of it.  If he violates your trust again, it’s getting serious.  And if he violates your trust for a third time, he is likely to be a man who isn’t going to have your back.  At this point, he’s done several things to earn your distrust, and the best thing to do would be to close him out of your life.

Develop your own life

The more comfortable you are developing your own life, the more you will be able to stay emotionally stable in a relationship.  If you have made mistakes in the past that gave men a ticket to walk all over you and your emotions, then take any new relationship slow.  Make sure you’ve seen where he lives, met some of his friends, have a healthy communication pace going, and are aware of his dating status and whether or not he is seeing just you or multiple women.  Don’t get intimate in the heat of the moment when you barely know him.

If he seems to be acting normal, then be assured by what you know.  After the initial frenzy of new love, the relationship is going to settle down and get a little more boring.  However, he should still be contacting you and you should have a better idea what his schedule is.  If he is still behaving nicely then that should be reassurance enough that this relationship has some teeth. 

If on the other hand, you are feeling suspicious, it may be because he was on his best behavior but now you are seeing the real him.  If he starts blowing you off, acting rude, cancelling, or being uninterested in your real life, the relationship may be a flash in the pan.  Instead of getting depressed over a promising relationship going nowhere but maybe the bedroom, date other people and cut ties some with him so you don’t get hurt.

You need to respect a mans free time and accept that he has work, family and friends and that he wants to spend time with them as well.  The happier you are with your own life the more you’ll be able to give him space and be flexible because you have action going on in your life too.  If you aren’t demanding and pushy, he will like you more for it.  Also, minimize bothersome contact.  Don’t text him when you know it is bother him and don’t constantly bug him by phone or text and interrupt him.  If you do, he is likely to put your ringtone on silent and start to tune you out.

If a guy suggests you stop texting him, then its a red flag that he is getting pretty fed up.  Give the relationship a break and go do other things including meet other guys if possible.  Give him a chance to hear some silence and get around to contact you.  Also, this will let you see the relationship as it is.  If he blows you out for two weeks well there you go – this guy isn’t very interested in you as anything but a backup booty. 

If you leave him alone it lets you get a much clearer picture of his interest level.  If you bother him, you are clouding the airwaves and creating a fake relationship with all your texting him, nagging him, picking fights with him, and drama.  Just remember that a guy will string along a girl and dabble in text with her, while meanwhile aggressively pursuing other women.  It’s just an ego boost for them so don’t think that texting a relationship makes, it does not.

If you start to harass him and gripe about how he is blowing you off, you need to step back and stop.  Harassing him is only going to set his bad behavior in stone and make him more reticent.  Instead you should be asking yourself why you are texting or getting intimate with someone who just doesn’t even care enough to say hi to you.  If you dropped off the face of the Earth tomorrow would he even notice? 

Text obsession is almost always caused by pursuing men who are not interested in being in a relationship with you.  Don’t rationalize that they would make a good boyfriend for someone, instead, look at how they are treating you.  That is all that matters.  It’s about how he treats you.  Now if he gets with someone else and treats her like a girlfriend but never treated you that way does it matter?  No.  What mattered was how he treated you.  How he is with other people is unrelated and should not concern you.  Do you pine everyday over how David Beckham ignores you? No! Of course you don’t.  The point is, if he is a guy that likes you then game on.  If he is a guy that isn’t into you, then don’t waste you time and don’t concern yourself with other people he is into because that has nothing to do with your life. Who cares.  You matter. 

The sooner you realize that you matter, and that what you wants matter, the faster you will be able to weed out men that don’t like you but are cool with using you and stringing you along while they search for the One.  You need to care about you and what you want out of a relationship, because nobody else will until you do.  Grow a back-bone or you will find yourself getting used by men who refuse to give you what you want because you allow them to.  Just know that if you are harassing him with text messages, he is probably a guy that is blowing you off and engendering that desperate behavior.  Get away instead.

Stop bothering him all the time


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