Boyfriend loses interest in the relationship and doesn’t text or call

Are you frustrated because your boyfriend is losing interest in your relationship and no longer seems to text or call you? Realizing that you are doing all the work can be so frustrating. If you complain about how you are doing all the calling and texting to him he’ll think you’re being a nag. But if you bottle it up then eventually you’re going to get fed up and that will lead to depression or a fight with him about his change in behavior.

If he doesn’t seem to have time to text then he certainly won’t have time to deal with your problems about him not texting. So how do you deal with it and pique his interest in you again? Here are a few tips gathered that will give you strategies for putting the romance back into you relationship with him. If he’s losing interest but you still like him then you have to tread lightly because the last thing you want to do is drive him away for good.

Be tolerant of the honeymoon phase ending

All relationships have that magical honeymoon phase where you’re calling or texting every day. You might have talked about your future, work, health, plans, love, everything you dreamed about. Everything was full of chemistry and moving full stream ahead with your relationship and romance at the top of the priority list.  The fact is, that men get really moony at the outset of a relationship especially with a woman that they are extremely attracted to. But the blush of first love and all of the initial chemistry will settle down eventually.

The first thing you need to do is get realistic that the proverbial honeymoon phase will most likely end. And that’s not the end of the world. The woman who can roll with the change will fare better with her man. If you’re able to have a kick back attitude through that change you’re more likely to keep his interest in you going. The key is to not freak out when things change. Instead, be adaptable and adjust to a new pace and comfort. It goes along with the territory that the initial explosion will settle down and the sooner you’re able to adjust the better off you’ll be.

Don’t push your own expectations onto him

If you’re the type that texts and texts and calls and calls but he’s the brooding aloof type that only comes in to set a plan and hates idle chatter, then you need to learn how to deal.

If he doesn’t mind you texting then go ahead and do it yet don’t get upset when he doesn’t text back all the time or engage with you. If it makes you happy to touch base all the time then do it so long as he’s ok with it and you don’t start harping on him to text back. He’s not going to suddenly change and be a chatty girlfriend to you if he wasn’t that way in the first place.

Most men know that women are chatty and they’ll put up with a certain amount of idle texting especially if they’re under no obligation to respond. They figure oh she just wants to pester me. You don’t want to feel like you’re in a contest as to how long you can go without saying hello.  If you need to say hello then do it but rest assured that if you’re in constant contact with him it hardly piques his interest or makes him really wonder what you’re up to.  You’re telling him all the time so he already knows. 

You are who you are and if your boyfriend adores you then a few girly texts flying by his screen won’t scare him off. But make sure those texts never get to the point that he becomes annoyed. More than a few texts a day is ridiculous. If you text him every few hours or morning noon and night he’ll freak out and hate it.  If on the other hand you send him a playful text every now and then that doesn’t require a response he probably won’t mind.

Respect his space and especially his career

If your boyfriend tells you to stop texting then you should stop that’s for sure. Always respect what he wants because if you don’t and continue to text he’ll view you as selfish. Men love a woman that respects their busy life particularly when it comes to their career and their family obligations.  Put his career at a priority and he’ll love you for it.

Don’t complain, especially about his career

The last thing you want to do is start complaining about the fact that he never calls or text you. Men put their career at a very high priority so make sure you don’t harass him on text when he is at the work place.   That doesn’t mean you can’t let him know it hurts when he is never texting back at all. You can tell him for example that you feel rejected at times when he doesn’t text back or touch base but seriously, leave it at that.  To continue complaining beyond that is ludicrous.  What works best is the opposite of complaining. If he texts then be positive and text back nice things.  If he doesn’t, then just leave him alone.

If he’s making an effort to send a text back to you then never try to sucker him into a long conversation. Just reward him for touching base. The idea is to be nice when he’s doing positive things and to be absent when he’s not. Complaining doesn’t give any advantage to you since who wants to talk to someone when all they do is complain.

Work on your own life

This is really hard because as much as women try to get into their own life, their boyfriend invariably plays a huge part in their overall happiness. But you just have to. Maybe you aren’t jumping for joy that your boyfriend is gone on business all weekend and you’re without a plan. But you can at least try to get busy and more enthusiastic about the things you do.

There is always the gym, house projects, taking care of business, and getting together with girlfriends for a good chick flick. There is relaxing and doing self improvement projects like beauty treatments. There all all kinds of things you can get involved with that can bring you some happiness and satisfaction. Try to embellish your own life so you aren’t so focused on his. It isen’t healthy to have your boyfriend being your sole and primary source of happiness.

I know it’s hard but there are fun things to do. The beauty of this is that your boyfriend will feel it. He inherently knows that you are off having your own experiences and enjoying yourself or indulging in hobbies.  Men instinctively know when a woman has her own life and is happy with it and it creates attraction in them.  It has a weird effect of making him gravitate towards wanting to contact your and be around you.

One of the biggest things men say when asked what they want in a women is that they want a woman who has her own life. Your man is not going to want to feel pressured to make you happy. It’s too much responsibility. He’s going to be more attracted to a woman that is happy and has her own activities and girlfriends or family events, whatever. So next time you nag your boyfriend think twice. You might want to shift focus onto your own existence and things you need to take care of instead. The more independent and empowered you feel the more you’ll pique his interest and he’ll come back around to you on his own.


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2 Responses to Boyfriend loses interest in the relationship and doesn’t text or call

  1. Mai says:

    I’m in my 6 months relationship with this guy who lives on the other side of the world. I’m in Asia and he is in the US. We started our relationship with long-distance. We never lived together. He only visited me once in 4-5 weeks. During the first few months he would text and call a lot (call twice a day) but now he doesn’t do it that often anymore. He only sent one text in the morning “hi baby” and that’s it. If I texted back it would take him 1-2 hours to reply. It is hard because our time difference (12 hours different) when I’m in bed he just start his day. He told me he doesn’t like texting or calling. What is that supposed to mean when we are in long distance relationship, how could we stay connected if we don’t talk? I talked to friends of mine who were in long-distance relationship and they all said my boyfriend lose his interest in me, is that true? I’m confused and frustrated, I don’t know if I should listen to my friends. I’m thinking about ending this relationship but I don’t want to make a wrong decision if he still loves me. Please help

    • admin says:

      Try to look for opportunities in your area, local! Because what are the real odds this will work out you know what i mean? Try to take it for what it is, a romantic penpal and in the meantime watch for real life options. Sometimes we get really caught up into the fantasy of a relationship but its more our desire to be in love than really being in love, if that makes any sense. Maybe its not so much his being mean but rather his being realistic that you are worlds apart. It’s a true text relationship which sometimes and oftentimes lead to nowhere. Also, he may have some interests in his town and he can’t sustain the long distance thing at that level. Like i said, tone it down to his level but look for something real in the meantime. You don’t want to be an occasional ego stroke for someone who is bored. You want a real, true love. Long distance thing is hard even for people who have been married for years! Someone who lives near you would be ideal…

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