Can a guy really be too busy to text you?

Women commonly wonder about this one. If a guy really digs a woman and is really into her is he ever too busy to call her? There are so many variables to this that you can hardly answer with a simple yes or no. There are times when guys feel too busy to make a phone call.

Granted, a quick phone call only takes around 5 minutes and a short text message takes only around 1 minute. But if he is doing something else it means pulling his mind off that and putting it onto you. Sometimes he just won’t do it until he gets to a convenient time and place.

Men will wait until later on when texting or calling you is actually convenient

Men more than women will postpone texting or calling until they get to a convenient place to do it. If he’s watching a game with the boys he’s unlikely to text you however when he is in his car or after everyone leaves then he has that time and space to change his focus and text. Women tend to text men they like right away, even if it means stopping what they are doing.

A guy will be more likely to wait until he has more time to do it. A girl would dart into the powder room to answer a text if her phone was set to vibrate at work, whereas a guy would just wait until much later on that day after work. After a demanding work day a guy might be too tied to text. He’s done, vegging out, and may even wait until the next day. A girl on the other hand, will text even though she’s exhausted.

If one text or call with you always leads to more and more talking, he’ll definitely wait

If you call or text him 5 times a day and bother him relentlessly, he’s going to start to tune you out and perhaps even avoid you. There is no touching base with a person like you since 5 minutes leads to all day back and forth. If you’re too high maintenance he’ll get busy real fast. Not only that, he’ll be wary of who he gives his work phone number and cell phone numbers to in the future (which likely won’t be you since you taught him to avoid pests).

Some men won’t just text to say hi in the daytime because of the particular way a certain girl responds. If you’re the type that he can’t just say hi to, he won’t dare. This type of girl won’t let him just say hi. If he does, he’s in danger of getting sucked into a long conversation with her back and forth back and forth. It’s a warning sign to women that are overly chatty on text message or the phone. If he feels like oh god I can’t text her otherwise I’ll get sidetracked into a 50 text conversation, he’ll be less likely to text you when he’s smack in the middle of doing something else. Even though a text with you takes just a minute, he thinks it has the potential to wind up taking hours. And even though a quick call only takes a minute, it winds up taking more than 20 minutes or more. So what does he do? He avoids contact and claims he was busy.

If you’re the type of girl that gets long winded and can’t keep things short, sweet and to the point you’ll find that he will avoid starting up with you until he has plenty of bored time to kill. If you don’t want to give him a good excuse for playing the busy card on you, don’t quicksand him into long conversations when it is clear he’s at work or busy. Keep it short and sweet and he’ll be more likely to touch base. Remember, he’s a guy not a gossiping girlfriend.

Some men really are busy

Some men really are busy with their lives. They may not be that into text message and the phone. It depends on their personality but there are certainly men who don’t like to be joined at the hip. Usually this independence is an ingrained part of their personality and hard for them to change. If your guy is not the texting or phone talking type of guy and you are a gossip monger, you may not be able to communicate in a way that satisfies you both. If he really and truly is the busy type who doesn’t do idle chatter, you have to be cool with that in order to get along with him.

Some men aren’t that into you

Almost all guys will admit that if you just started dating and he’s into you then his hormones will be raging and he won’t be able to get enough. Sure he’ll call you and text you because he’s totally into you! After you’ve been dating a while and the initial novelty has worm off he won’t be quite as malleable. Still though, if you are the special woman in his life he’ll never be too busy to call you. Even if he’s tied up and literally can’t call he will let you know and get in touch as soon as he can. So yes, a guy that is completely into a woman will make himself accessible to her and nothing will stand in his way of seeing her and talking to her regularly. Nothing.

If a guy is really into a girl there is no such thing as being too busy. He’ll make time for her.

Some men are object/goal oriented

Some men see little sense in chatting unless it is heavy flirting. If they aren’t the phone chat or text chat type then things like checking in just to say hi or rehasing the mundane day are ridiculous to him.  Why would he want to do that?  If he’s dating you he just goes on about his life and when he sees you he sees you. The only time this type of guy will check in is to ask for or to arrange a time to see you. If he is object oriented he’ll just contact you when there is a goal in mind, like making or confirming plans. Idle chat won’t happen. Again, if you need a guy that can be down with talking, a busy guy who abhors small talk won’t match up that well with you in the communication department.

Binary calling or not calling

Some guys work like an on/off switch. If they feel like calling you then they will call you. When they want to talk to somebody they do. If he doesn’t call you then he doesn’t want to talk to you and probably isen’t even thinking of calling you.

Make him more likely to call you by doing this

A man is going to be less inclined to call or text you if you train him that he doesn’t have to. If you’re texting him all the time anyways, why does he need to bother. Seriously, why should he text you out of the blue and ask you what’s up if you’ve just told him what you had for lunch and everything else that happened to you that day already.  Make him more likely to call and text you by not letting in on the details of your life until he asks for them.

If you create pressure whenever he calls or texts then he might just use the busy excuse. Maybe he figures that dealing with you always takes longer than expected and he doesn’t want to have to talk that long. Here is where he’ll use the busy excuse over and over and over. He’s technically not too busy to make a five minute phone call or to compose a text, what he is too busy for is dealing with all the back and forth and your responses that come after. He doesn’t want to cut you off so it’s easier just not to get into it with you in the first place.  If you want to make it more like that he’ll contact you then don’t make each point of contact turn into a marathon.

Give him the benefit of the doubt

Before you write him off as just not that into you, always give him the benefit of the doubt. If his work was mentally exhausting and all he wants to do is zone out in front of sports then don’t berate him for being too busy. If talking to you inevitably turns into a marathon and he’s just avoiding getting dragged into it then his busy excuse might be your own fault. Try to adjust your texting habits so that he can send you a quick text without you launching a long text stream. If he sends you a text, send him one back, then stop.

Maybe he has a fuller more plentiful life than you do and occupies his time more often than you do.  If you are now off for summer vacation and he’s just started a new job you’ll want to talk more than he will.  If he has two jobs that he works and seven children and you’re single, retired and working only part time from home, then you’ll want to talk more than him. Try to give the benefit of the doubt exspecially if you know for a fact that he’s way busier than you are.

Maybe he’s running himself ragged taking care of business and you’re sitting around staring at your phone. Some guys look at it like this. If he’s calling you at all on an ongoing basis then he certainly likes you somewhat since if he didn’t like you at all he wouldn’t call you at all.

If over an extended period of time he’s just not seeing you or bothering to contact you consistently, then he’s just not that into you

Finally, if you’ve given him all the slack you can and he’s still too busy for you then you have to see the writing on the wall. If you’ve been seeing him for a while and he’s constantly busy or unavailable, you have to believe that maybe it is what it is. He’s just not that into you.

The bottom line is that there is probably some correlation, busy or not, between how much someone is into you and how much someone goes out of their way to contact you. If he’s interested in you he’ll find the time to spend with you either on text, on the phone, or in person. Men who know how to play the dating game won’t call all the time because they know that by giving a women the gift of missing you that you increase her attraction level.  But they will call, or text.


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2 Responses to Can a guy really be too busy to text you?

  1. P says:

    I’m sorry, this is sorta B.S.

    Even if I, a female mind you, was running a marathon, got a new job, had 3 kids to raise, and volunteered part time, I would STILL find time to text the person I liked. With slight delays at the most, but it would happen. Seriously, a text or two does not take that much energy or time commitment.

    And to say men or women are “wired” to respond a certain way is even bigger B.S. In the example above, likewise, if a man was to be in that position he would do the same if he really liked the person, regardless of how busy he was.

    If he isn’t doing that, he’s just not seriously into having a relationship at the moment, or just not seriously into having a relationship with YOU.

    Stop wasting your precious time and put some more of it into yourself to make yourself even more awesome! That person who WILL want to text you and want to get to know and see you more is out there. And it’s most probably not the prick who’s text you’re waiting for right now. lol

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