While plenty of womanizers do eventually settle down and end up happy in committed long-term relationships, there are plenty of them who don’t. Certain men crave their freedom to date whomever they please. Dating whomever they please inevitably includes intimacy with whomever they please as well.
A typical womanizer won’t make a commit to be monogamous, tends sleeps around with a lot of different women, and rationalizes his behavior to exonerate responsibility for who he hurts. Your man may not be an insensitive womanizer. He may just be a man who is reluctant to commit to you because for whatever reason, you are not the kind of partner he is looking to get serious with. You might call such a man a womanizer but in reality, he is willing to settle down at some point, just not with you. The dilemma is figuring out if a man is a womanizer, a slow mover, or just not into you in particular. Women tend to waste time being patient and accepting non-commital behavior thinking that if they rot with him long enough, he will eventually do the right thing and change. He won’t.
There are no guarantees when it comes to dating and relationships, but be on the lookout for obvious clues that he’s probably not going to stop being a womanizer for you.
His promises mean nothing
How many second chances should your womanizing man get? That’s up to you to decide but if he regularly breaks promises, don’t expect him to change. When it comes to womanizing or anything else that he comes up as a liar for, proving himself simply untrustworthy means he’s just not willing to follow through on what he says, period. You might give him second chances, but he won’t change.
He has a plethora of excuses
Womanizers can pull excuses out of the magic hat like there is no tomorrow. If you hear a litany of excuses that are delivered adeptly, he won’t change. You know when he is full of excuses when he habitually lies, then comes up with great sounding excuses that you buy into and believe, but weeks later you get nagging feelings that his excuses and stories really didn’t add up. When he is able to smoothly use excuses to pull the proverbial wool over your eyes, you can be assured that he is a womanizer that won’t change. Deep down you know his excuses don’t justly explain his behavior.
He blames others
Womanizers love to blame others for the way they act. For example, they have an affair then blame it on you for not paying enough attention. No, they had an affair. Or, they cheated because a woman came onto them. No, they cheated. Womanizers are experts at blaming you for the things they do.
This is a key way womanizers avoid taking responsibility for their actions is to blame others. If he blames other women who are too sexy or irresistable, or claim they cheated because she came on to him, it’s likely he’ll keep on doing what he’s been doing. Of course there are situations and circumstances that influence him. But he always manages to blame circumstance or others without taking ownership for his own role in misbehavior.
If a womanizer always blames you or others for his actions, there’s little chance he’ll make a change. A perfect is example is that you get in a fight with him because you suspect him of cheating, then he goes out and cheats. Then, he blames you for the cheating because you pushed him away. With a womanizer you will be caught in a never-ending maze of being blamed for his behavior. It’s a situation where he is a liar and cheater, which makes you crazy, so you act crazy, which gives him the perfect excuse for his cheating and lying ways. You’re crazy so he won’t commit! If you are going into mental hamster wheel circles with him, he is a womanizer with Zippo chance of changing.
He avoids talking about it
A womanizer is adept at dragging a relationship on through the honeymoon phase for as long as possible. During this time he enjoys sex and other things you do to cater to his needs before the dreaded commitment discussions arise. His goal is to drag out and use you for as long as humanly possible until things get serious and he has to discard you. A womanizer will manage his dating life using text message and he is a pro at text game. He will be heavily into only contacting you by text message and even then, he only touches base to arrange a get-together. If you can’t get together with him, he recedes away. A womanizer doesn’t care about your real life because it is all about him, him, him.
A womanizer is going to avoid real discussions and always prefers text. He is going to communicate mostly on text message and will avoid real live conversations about where things are going and status. He will also cut down on communications and try to do various tricks to keep the relationship stalled. He will not text every day. He will try to see you once a week or less than that, and he will regularly disappear to enjoy other women and activities and reappear just when you were on the brink of getting him out of your life. You won’t get recognized on holidays or birthdays and he may even pick a fight or criticize you when it suits him so he can sabotage progress and pursue other women.
A womanizer is going to lower your expectations by not being there for you. After he gets you emotionally hooked by being on perfect behavior, his real behavior will start to show. He will be flaky on plans, flaky in getting back to you, and avoid all talk about relationships. If he is put on the spot about commitment he will try to make it seem as though you are pushy and controlling. Blame will be shifted back onto you. If you press a womanizer really hard, he will admit that he wants to keep dating to see if you are willing to part of his harem. If that fails he might go away for a while then come back and try again after you’ve missed him for a while. With a womanizer, you will constantly feel like the rug is being yanked out from under your feet.
A womanizer is a user of women and usually has developed skills to come off perfectly at first to get what he wants from you. Once you are hooked he starts dragging the relationship out with periods of unavailability and disappearances and topics like boyfriend/girlfriend status are ignored. If you find yourself stalled in a relationship that is not moving forward because he is either disappearing, picking fights, or being unreliable, rest assured you are dealing with a womanizer who will not change.
He is what he was
The number one clue that he is a womanizer is that he has acted uncommitted to you already. Womanizers will rarely change for women that they have already used and walked all over. Chances are if a womanizer is going to change he is going to change for the new woman who won’t put up with any of his bull. If he likes her enough, she is the one he will actually try to change for and act like a real boyfriend for. Even then though, if womanizing is part of his deeper personality, he will probably cheat on the down-low on her as well.
If a womanizer has lied to you, cheated on you, fed you excuses, or stalled the relationship in order to continue seeing other women either openly or on the down low, he won’t change. If a womanizer is smitten with you and you demand good behavior on the get go, he might change at least for a while. But even then, expect him to sink to his lowest common denominator. The best way to predict future behavior is to look at his past behavior. If you assume that he will be, what he has been to you, you might have the answer as to will he change. If he hasn’t changed thus far, he won’t. That is why it is crucial to have good boundaries at the outset of relationship. Once he overstep boundaries and you still stick around, expect him to do it to you over and over again and again.
Don’t downplay his harem or pretend it doesn’t exist
Don’t underestimate a womanizer. He will downplay the significance of the other women who he is seeing. You might in your mind sweep these women under a rug since you don’t know them personally. They are not just vacuous figures drifting around. Don’t delude yourself. These are real, live, living, breathing, and functioning other women that he is seeing, bedding, sharing germs with, and likely lying to as well. Use protection with a womanizer or avoid him like the plaque altogether. If weekends are passing and you don’t even hear from him, rest assured he is with others and they are not to be minimized. They are probably trying to get a commitment out of him too, and are victims of a womanizer just like you are.
Disregard the first month of dating, when he was on good behavior
One way womanizers can keep you prisoner is by acting great in the very beginning. This is the hook they rely on. They are experienced manipulators and can be incredibly charming and easy to get fooled by. A womanizer will act very into you at first, running the full court press and making you feel amazing and wanted. He does this on purpose. Once you are hooked, he has you conquered. Then you stay with him continually even though he acts more and more like a player as time passes by telling yourself, but he was so into me at first. Wrong, he was playing you at first, because that is what womanizers are good at. Judge him on his worst behavior, not his best behavior when he was trying to woo you. If he acted great the first month you knew him, but has been an unreliable dishonest douche ever since, he is a womanizer. He had on a mask, then he dropped the mask or you just saw through it.
Wipe away the first month of dating and look at what he has been like since then to get a better picture of the man you are really dealing with. Do you see a womanizer? Odds are there is nothing you can do to change the way he is treating you. He will ride the relationship out enjoying the honeymoon phase and even enjoying you writhe and turn seeking commitment, until finally, you give up and go away. By then, there are other women in his never-ending dating funnel and you are easily replaced. If you were a woman he was going to change his ways for, he would have done so at the outset and stuck to it.
A womanizer will always have women funneling into and out of his life, you being one of them. When he finds the one, it will be obvious and the relationship will be moving steadily forward into a serious one, not stalling out and dragging on without really progressing. It will be really, blazingly obvious if you are with a womanizer who plans to change. You will be heavily integrated into his life and your involvement will be real, not imagined. If this is not happening already, it probably won’t happen at all, at least not with you.