Can a womanizer ever change?

If you are dating a complete womanizer do not hold your breath expecting him to change for you.  Womanizers are practiced in what they do and they spend a huge amount of time pursuing women.  To them it becomes a habit and a lifestyle and it is usually one they enjoy.  So, a womanizer would have to be really bowled over by a woman to have any inclination whatsoever to change his way of life.

Look at who he is, not who you want him to be

Trying to change someone is always a losing battle.  Instead, take the person at face value and assume that is who they are.  If you don’t like their lifestyle or who they are then don’t be with them.  See how they act over time and then decide if you want to be with them or continue to be with them.  You can let him know about things that bother you but having unrealistic expectations for him to change is difficult.  It is generally easier to accept the way a person is than to expect them to somehow change by a miracle.  This way, you don’t have to get caught up into a rat race or battle of the wills that is involved in trying to change somebody.

If you are conniving about how to change a womanizer, give up

It’s a false illusion to think you are that woman who can change him.  In fact, it’s going to be that woman who could care less about him and dismisses him as a player that will be the one to wrap him around her finger.  If you’re even wondering if you can change him you probably can’t.  If you accepted a non-monogamous relation with him don’t expect it to suddenly change to monogomous.  If you think he is a stupid player and you refuse to get involved with him at all, maybe he would turn himself around for a woman like you. 

Some woman think they can play a game and put on an act to try and make him jeolous.  They try to act like they don’t care, pretend they are OK with a casual relationship, and even feign dating others in an attempt to get him chasing them.  All these games are moot.  Womanizers are very good at seeing through all these things and any act or games to try and get him hooked will fall flat.  He will see right through it.  He is so used to getting woman and the psychology of how women think, that you would really have to be that woman that didn’t have an interest in him to make him go nuts over you.

If you are wondering if your womanizer will ever change, he will (just not for you)

Eventually a womanizer will change and the reason is that every man wants to fall in love and meet the ideal woman.  Some just take the scenic route and aren’t in any rush.  They continue to look until they meet the one who bowls them over.  And it won’t be the woman thinking about how to change him.  It will be the woman that dismisses him, does not need him to be happy, and has her own life.  It’s the woman that, in order to be with her or even get her attention, he has to change himself. 

So the bottom line is that, a womanizer has to want to change from within.  That means they either get tired of womanizing and want to settle down, or they meet someone that they have to change for in order to have.  It is always one of two things.  Either they get tired of being a player, or they meet what they think is the one woman for them.  They fall in love.  Whichever it is, it will be his idea to change.  The second you are trying to get a womanizer to commit or contort him into being monogamous is the second you will fail.   

The worst thing you can do with a womanizer is start off in a casual relationship just to ingratiate yourself with him, then try to get him to change after that casual relationship is ground in stone.  Once you are pigeon-holed into accepting a certain type of relationship with a player, you will never make it out of that pigeon-hole.  He already knows he can fool around on you and that you will put up with it so he has zero incentive to change.  Therefore, if you really want to get a player to change you have to lay down those boundaries right at the get go.  After the horse has left the gate and the relationship is non-exclusive, there is no turning back. 

How to get a womanizer to stop being a player? Hit him out of the park by keeping solid boundaries

Set down those personal boundaries and if he follows them, then you might be that woman he will change his ways for.  If he treads on your boundaries, hit him out of the park and let him know what you will and won’t accept in a relationship and never, ever once, waver from your standards.  The second a womanizer gets you to submit and break your own standards is the second you won’t be able to get a commitment from him.  If your standards are exclusivity then deman exclusivity or walk away.  The only way to get a player is to hold your ground, have strong boundaries, and leave him with no exceptions when he violates them. You have to see right through his games and have zero tolerance for his lies or deceptions. He needs to know he will lose you and have some sort of impetus or incentive to act right. 

The only way a womanizer will change his womanizing ways is if he knows with no uncertainty that you will leave him the second he is caught playing.  Even then he will leave you if he doesn’t think you are the one.  But if he really cares, he will stick around and deal with your boundaries.  Having boundaries will not scare a player away from you and in fact it will attract him to you.

Some womanizers just can’t sustain monogamy so they take heavy risks with their women and create a secret life of their womanizing.  These type of womanizers grow to lead two completely separate lives.  One is their underground secret womanizing life, and the other is their respectable married life.  They are so addicted to their womanizing that they try to keep their secret life under wraps.  Eventually they do get caught and relationships are irreparable damaged.  Tiger Woods with Elin Nordegrin is a perfect example.  She did make a player settle down yet in the end his lifestyle came back to roost and she left him over his philandering scandal.

Everyone wants love but nabbing a womanizer is a high risk venture

Everyone wants love but falling for an established womanizer is a risky proposition.  Life long womanizers usually don’t change until they get into their fifties, Warren Betty being a good example of that.  Be forewarned that even if a womanizer falls deeply in love with you, his spoiled narcissistic background may prevent him from being monogamous long term.  At some point, you might have to split up or put up with philandering if you continue to stay with him. 

Womanizers are often spoiled by being famous, athletic, or extremely hot.  It turns them into narcissists who learn that they can treat people poorly and get away with it because of their fame, status or looks.  These assets give them greater opportunity to meet women.  Women always come back for more so they learn what they can get away with and how to push limits.  Once they learn what they can have and get away with doing it is hard for a womanizer to all of a sudden change.

No relationship is guaranteed so it is hard to pass up a womanizer (or any man) that you love.  Just know that falling for a womanizer and expecting him to change is a risky endeavor because people don’t change their ways easily.  Promises to change are a far cry from changing.  The best way to get a womanizer is not to get him at all.  He falls in love with you, and pursues a relationship with you. He should be the one with the highest interest level in the relationship, not the other way around.  Follow your heart when dealing with a womanizer, yet know what you are getting yourself into.


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