At the basis of any text message exchange between a man and a woman is the underlying fundamentals of whether she likes you or not. If the woman likes you, she’ll most likely like your texts no matter what the pattern. If a woman doesn’t like you, she’ll most likely find ways to become annoyed at your texts. That being said, when she is on the fence, you don’t want to do anything to get yourself knocked out of the running with her. This is especially true if you like her a lot. There are certain things you can do to manage her flaking out. The biggest pointer is to not get ruffled over her flakiness.
Don’t notice that she flakes
The best way to react to a girl flaking on you is to choose either tease her about it or not to notice it at all. If you have a good sense of humor you can tease her when she flakes or be funny about it. Call her an adorable brat or something like that. As long as you don’t allow yourself to look or sound genuinely upset you should be ok. If she flakes, you should just have a shoulder shrug reaction to it. You are a grown boy now get over it. And, you shouldn’t even be phased when she flakes out because you have other options and your life does not revolve around her. If her flaking is a regular occurrence, rather than getting mad or upset about it drop her for a while and find someone else who won’t flake. She’s not the only woman in the world.
Drop the subject if she doesn’t text back
If a girl ignores your text messages don’t get upset about it either. Was the text message something that she really needed to answer? When a girl ignores your texts don’t be in a big rush to text her again. You might be texting her too much or she may not be interested in you. You need to show her that you are emotionally mature so don’t make an issue if she doesn’t text you back. If you really like her just wait a while and restart the conversation as though nothing happened. Conveniently forget the fact that she didn’t text you back earlier and pretend it didn’t happen or that you didn’t even notice anything wrong. Being a little bit oblivious helps because then you aren’t getting all bent out of shape over minutia. If texts don’t work you could also switch it up and give her a call instead.
Logistical problems with a planned date
The best way to prevent date flaking is to arrange it with her on the phone rather than text. Then, use text to confirm the date just prior to it happening. Right before the date you can send her a, See you in bit…, or let her know your status. A status check text to reconfirm a date is fine and will actually make her feel more comfortable that the date is going to happen as planned. That builds trust.
If she has to reschedule the date for a legitimate reason just let it slide and set up another time for it. If you feel like you are being dingdong-ed around, then you can put her through a hoop too. When she suggests Wednesday instead for example, let her know you’re busy so she’ll have to come up with another solution to accommodate you. Let her give you options and then you choose one rather than trying to figure out her schedule. If you have a pretty good idea that a girl is going to flake out on plans you can always play the flake card yourself and just say something came up. Beating her to the punch saves you the trouble of getting cancelled on.
If you like this woman then don’t be afraid to touch base with her by text after a date. Use her name in the text and continue to build her comfort up with you and rapport with you. You can say you had fun and even randomly suggest a few possible new dates giving her some choices. If you aren’t ready to ask her for a concrete date you can just ask her how her weeks looking. You haven’t really asked her out yet but you are giving her the opportunity to suggest times when she is available to do something with you. If she takes the bait then you know she wants to see you again and you can suggest plans with her in upcoming days.
When she wriggles out of a suggested date location
Girls commonly wriggle out of dates and date locations because of comfort level reasons. For example, let’s say you invite her over to watch a DVD but once she thinks about it she tries to wriggle out of coming over to your place because something might happen too soon. Or, its her turn to drive to you but she gets dicey about going into an unfamiliar neighborhood and starts to waffle out of the date. If a girl feels insecure about safety, she usually try to divert things back to you taking her out on another date that is closer to her home. If this happens you can go with the wriggle and maybe offer a compromise. For example, if you don’t want to foot the bill of a whole new date so soon, say you are busy for dinner but suggest drinks afterwards. This is a compromise to increase her comfort by compromising but not playing into her hands by getting entrapped into another expensive date that you hadn’t planned on yourself.
When you first start going out, planning dates that will make her feel secure will help to prevent her from flaking. Go out in public, stay relatively closer to where she lives, and invite her over only when she feels comfortable enough with you to want to come over. Work on making her feel comfortable about hanging out with you so that a date at one of your places seems natural and fun rather than scary and risky.
Once you’ve started to see her use text in between dates to further build attraction. Just a teaser or a once in a while text will be enough. Don’t start to text her all day long back and forth and act like a girlfriend to her. Let her chat about you to her own friends. If your date led to some kissing and intimacy then it becomes okay to add a little sexual tease to your text. Don’t do this however until you are sure that she is attracted to you and has demonstrated her attraction to you in person.
Once you know she is attracted you can escalate it with teasing texts. If you’ve gotten up close and personal to her body on your date, then you can ask her what she is wearing, wish her into your bed, or offer to corrupt her. It doesn’t have to be nasty or explicit but rather fun and flirty. Remember to keep this sort of teasing in pace with how you are with her in person. Just carry it forward into the texts to keep your spark with her igniting intermittently until you see her again. The idea is to build anticipation and make her feel like she’s been dating you longer and known you longer even than she really has.
Handle flakiness with a little teasing and indifference. If she backs out of a home date compromise and do something else such as take her out for drinks. Follow up good dates with a few fun spikes of text messages. Ask her what her schedule looks like to feel out if she is open for being asked out again soon. Get flirty on text but keep the messages light and complimentary not raunchy. To avoid offending her do not send suggestive texts unless she genuinely likes you and keep that content in line with whatever is going on between the two of you on the actual dates. That way you won’t come off as acting sleezy or too sexually pushy, just be into her instead and enjoy the ride. I hope you enjoyed these tips on texting a girl.