So you met a cute guy who is a friend of a friend. You text back and forth and meet up before a party because you want to get to know him more. One thing leads to another and many hours and many dinks later you wind up getting intimate. He casually texts you afterwards, but there is no mention of asking you on a date or spending the daylight hours with him. You want to nag him and tell him you don’t usually do this, but you did.
Now, all of a sudden, you are mind-numbed and investing a bunch of mental energy into whether you can flip a switch on this thing and make it go into healthy direction. All because he texted you but never asked you out.
Rest assured, that you didn’t necessarily blow it with him by being intimate, but from the get go, there is no reason to believe he wanted anything more than a casual hookup from the get go, when he invite you to “hang out” before a party. That was your answer right there.
Hooking up casually and friends with benefits are so commonplace today, but in no way to they lead to relationships. Men are much better at women at compartmentalizing sex and intimacy. And if they aren’t genuinely interested in you but are nevertheless still attracted to you, it’s even easier than ever for them to compartmentalize. Why? Because they already know at the get go they have zero interest in making you into a girlfriend.
Situations like this never lead anywhere good, and are the kick starters for broken hearts and wasted time. If you have any doubt in your mind what this described relationship is going to be about, be on the lookout for the two canonical signs that this is just a hookup and it is all it is ever going to be.
Sporadic contactCommunication only to hookupDangers of casual hooking up
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