There is no way to force a man to be attracted to you. He either is attracted or he isen’t attracted. There are mistakes you can make with him that will drive him away though. Certain behaviors and attitudes really inspire attraction in a man. Others just make him turned off.
First you need that base level attraction. Initially, he either is romantically attracted to you romantically or he isen’t. At the outset, looking your best will help as men are so visual when it comes to instant attraction. If that initial attraction to you exists and he is interested, there are certain behaviors that will draw him even closer and other behaviors that will drive him away. Here are a few common mistakes women make with men. If you have a man attracted to you then your chances of keeping him will increase if you avoid these common pitfalls.
Trying to buy him will turn him off
Trying to buy him with favors and gifts will not win your man. If you are trying to show him how much you care you don’t want to do it by buying things. If you treat your man like a friend or family member who you are doing favors for he will not be more attracted or inspired. If you’re already his girlfriend then simple things for him would be appreciated for example cooking a meal. But if you’re just dating and trying to get him into you then trying to buy his love won’t work.
Don’t run errands, clean his house, buy him extravagent presents or figure out his life’s problems. Just be you and do your own thing. If he likes you then he’ll be drawn closer because of that, not because you’re pouring money or gifts at his feet. It’s fine to be generous but not in excess. If you do too many favors for a man you might even put yourself in the friend zone with him, not the relationship mindset. Wait until he’s yours then surprise him with occasional generosity.
The main thing is never try to buy his love as it will be transparent and a turn off. He’ll feel guilty or obligated over it and it may even make him feel uncomfortable. If you are doing him favors in an attempt to get him to notice you it will backfire. Trying to buy his love won’t make him inherently more attracted to you.
Trying to convince him will turn him off
Pleading, convincing and begging him probably won’t inspire his attraction. Stepping on his feet as hard as you can with a stiletto will probably inspire attraction more than trying to convince him through pleading, being pathetic or nagging.
Getting overly sappy about how you two are perfect for each other and oh wouldn’t you make the perfect couple and all that is going to want to make him run for the hills. Getting gushy and telling him you love him when you don’t know him that well will scare him. Don’t creep him out by being an emotional basket case. He just wants to exist and has more of a reptilian mindset. If he feels good when he comes around you, then he’ll be inspired to come around you. If he’s made to feel uncomfortable by coming around then he won’t be inspired come around.
You’ll have a better chance of getting him to be with you by cutting off his tail than you would by begging and pleading at his feet. Comments like how do you feel about me, don’t you want to be with me, you’re the one, don’t we make such a good couple and so forth are almost acidic to men. If you’re Megan Fox maybe he won’t be turned off by this muelling but otherwise he will be.
The number one way that women try to convince a man is by texting him constantly. Don’t think that constantly texting him trying to convince him to see you, be with you, give you a second chance, prove that you’re changed, etc will help your cause. You’d be more likely to create attraction by silence and being ice cold than you would be texting him trying to convince him to be with you. He’ll do what he wants to do and no amount of convincing texts will sway him.
Putting up with lousy treatment will turn him off
When you tip toe around putting up with lousy treatment you might think that will help him stick around but in reality it is more likely to make him take advantage of you. If you see yourself getting treated poorly you need to hit him out of the park and make it known. You don’t have to be mean but you do have to calmly tell him when he has crossed the line. The calmer you are the more effective it is. You need strong standards and personal boundaries because men respect that. They are attracted to women who don’t have emotional meltdowns.
Men can have physical relationships with women with no intention of getting serious with them. Until he has told you that you are exclusive, assume that you could be dating a big player and you’re just a temporary, short term, or even fake girlfriend. Men aren’t like women at all and a physical relationship does not an emotional relationship make.
If you’re sleeping with him in the hopes that he will get more serious about you it is probably not productive. You’d have a better chance of having him attracted if you weren’t. You must have some demands and boundaries. If a man doesn’t have some basic guidelines as to what behavior you will or won’t tolerate he’ll walk all over you. No matter what those boundaries are you need them in place. Figure out what is acceptable to you and then stick to that.
If you stick to your guns your value will increase in his eyes. Lets say for instance that you want a phone call before a date not just to have your dates plan on text message. Let him know you’d like a phone call. And if he fails to follow through don’t go out. Intimate relations are not going to trigger something that makes him want to be with you. Having some standards and good boundaries might.
Decide what you’re willing to put up with in a dating relationship and stick to your plan not his. Be flexible but if you don’t get even the basics of decent treatment be prepared to walk. Having a backbone will get you more emotional closeness than accepting poor treatment will.
Not giving in to fear of the competition will turn him on
There is so much competition in the dating world. And so many people to choose from. You might get into an insecurity mindset where you walk on eggshells with a man because you know that you can be easily replaced. This mindset is dangerous and not only can it get you taken advantage of, it can be a turn off to him.
The second you start sticking around and putting up with poor treatment is the second you’ll get treated poorly. The thing is that men will sink to the lowest level naturally. Whatever minimum effort they can put out to have you stick around will be the natural resting point they settle into.
If you have a stronger mindset you won’t care about the competition. You won’t stick around in a bad relationship just because of fear of loss. Women think that they have to put up with morally wrong or degrading behavior or they will be stuck single. He’s the best I am going to get, they think. The problem is that it’s the girl with the boundaries who is going to catch the man. She’s the one that will have more boyfriends because she won’t put up with any shenanigans. And she lets them know she won’t. That creates attraction. They write books about it, like Why men love Bitches and Why men marry Bitches.
Don’t try to buy his love, convince him to love you, or put up with lousy treatment. Don’t walk on eggshells scared to tell him what you want and need. Your needs matter too and he needs to know that. Place a high value on yourself and operate with a velvet hammer. Be gentle yet firm in letting him know what you want and need. Do so nicely but be prepared to lower the boom if he violates your standards and boundaries. Give him some core guidelines. When he realizes he is with a person that values herself he is more likely to be and remain to be attracted.
I really like Christian Carter and his Catch him and Keep Him advice. If you are looking for dating advice do a google search on Christian Carter as he gives plenty of free advice on the net about how to avoid common mistakes with men.
Christian Carter
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