Are you wondering where you stand in your relationship with that man? Here are a few secrets to cracking his code and figuring out what he really thinks about you.
Actions speak louder than words
Men are indirect just as often as they are direct. Sometimes figuring out where he stands is just a matter of being perceptive rather than listening to words out of his mouth. Actions speak way louder than words with men. If a man is willing to go out of his way for you from time to time (other than just in a physical intimate sense) that speaks volumes. If he can’t be bothered, then you know where he stands. You don’t need for him to talk to figure it out.
Commitment is a big deal
Men are going to take commitment very, very seriously. Therefore if he won’t commit then you know that he definitely is not on board with you. If a man for example, doesn’t take his Internet dating profile down while he is dating you then there is no commitment. All he is committed to do is have fun. Again, look at the behavior and then you have your answer as to how interested in you he really is.
Men listen then plot their course of action
If you get mad at your man and you’re the verbal type, then you become a mad on-rushing bull. The type of woman that psycho texts is the type that gets really upset and goes into a tantrum from a big fight. This usually involves her complaining and verbally castrating him on text message going over an accumulation of all his wrong-doings.
The only problem with giving him an earful of texts is that he really is listening. Your aggravation quickly numbs him to anything he may have done wrong. He’ll pretend he’s ignoring you but all the while he is quietly listening. And sorry to say, he will plot his revenge. Revenge usually takes the form of a new woman appearing in his life.
What is he doing with you when you get together?
If you want to know his intentions its as simple as adding up what this man is doing with you. We all know that relationships deepen when you share activities together. It’s not just physical activity either. If your man is not sharing any sort of activity with you outside say the physical realm, then there is no relationship there.
Relationships deepen from doing things together and if he’s only doing a nookie and run then the relationship not only doesn’t exist, but is also purposely not allowed to exist. He doesn’t spend time with a women he doesn’t want to be involved with. Conversely, he will spend time with a woman he wants to be involved with.
What is he doing without you?
Number one turn-off for men is feeling like they are being bull-whipped into doing something by a woman. They won’t marry the woman who pushes them, won’t commit to the woman who pushes them, basically won’t do squat when pushed.
Leaving him alone to do his own hobbies actually helps him because men are basically selfish and need lots of time for themselves. They need their buddies, their golf game and their time apart. Leaving them alone usually has a better effect on a man than pushing him.
If you find yourself pushing him, assume that he isen’t interested. The best way to see where you stand is to stop pushing completely and see what he does. If you leave him alone and he gets in touch with you in a matter of days then he likes you. If you leave him alone and he gets in touch with you weeks later he’s just lonely.
If you leave him alone and he goes gets himself another woman well then he doesn’t like you. Don’t give him excuses as to why he went to pursue other woman. It’s not because he’s mad at you OK, its because he is pursuing other women. No excuses. All you have to do to see exactly where you stand is give him enough space to hang himself and then and only then will you know precisely where you stand.
Men let go faster
Men get over arguments and problems fast than women. That’s why they claim to hate drama. Oh did they steal some money out of your wallet six months ago? Ancient history! A woman will remember negative equity and drag his wrong doings along into every single fight. Meanwhile, the man wants you to forget he stole money from you six months ago because he’s so over it.
Did he put an ice pick in your back and go off with another woman last year before he got back together with you this year? He’s so over it. It’s ancient history and not to be brought up. You talked about it, done. The last thing he wants is a fork in his side about past grievances every time you get in fight. If you dare do that, you’re drama.
If you don’t want to be a drama queen who gets left behind, try not to dwell on past negative experiences. If he’s forgotten it so should you. It’s easier said than done yet that’s how men roll. They especially want you to forget rude things they did in the past that were all their fault.
Forget that hint, he won’t get it
Oh did you drop a hint on text that you wanted to get together with him or go to this event or that? Forget it. Hint dropping won’t work on men. If you’re beating around the bush then more than likely he won’t know what the heck you’re talking about. Treat him like a binary solution since he’s mentally a child when it comes to these things. Be direct if you want him to get the message (that’s like the one). If you want him to totally miss your message and hint around be indirect (that’s like the zero).
Men respond to appreciation, not nagging
Trust me he deserves every bit of nagging that you want to send in his direction. Did he do you wrong? He more than deserves the 300 texts you’re about to send his way outlining his jerk-like behavior. Only a cad would warrant those 300 texts. Unfortunately, if you send them he won’t respond. You’ll just end up broken up.
If you want to never have a chance with him, launch those 300 texts. Unfortunately men respond best to appreciation even when they are absolutely and utterly undeserving of it. And if you’re really pissed off enough to send 300 texts you’d in reality be better off just not talking to him anymore. Because not talking to him is actually doing something more than texting him. Yet as I say these words I am pretty sure that you won’t be able to stop texting until you’ve had your say. Then, you’ll be broken up.
Men have dirty minds
Men think about sex more than women. It’s not always the case that they carry out their thoughts but they certainly think about it. Studies show that men think about sex almost twice as much as women. They also have more vivid and varied fantasies and are more likely to be into fantasies of casual or anonymous relations too.
Men do appreciate passion in a relationship of course because then everyone knows how to please one another and there is a deeper emotional connection. But just as they appreciate that they can also appreciate the thought of someone new when you become a nagging villain. Sadly when they deserve that nagging the most is when their brains are capable of wandering off onto different scenarios that don’t include you. If you ask a man why he left a woman more than likely he will claim to have been driven away by her.
If your man is thinking about other women it’s more likely that if you push him away because you’re mad, he will go off and try to execute those thoughts. His interpretation will be that you drove him away so he had to do it. If you castrate him over some wrong doings, expect him to wander off and actively try to execute his fantasy of meeting someone else. You drove him into it, he concludes. Just saying.
Men don’t want a wet noodle
If you want to see where you stand with your man act like a wet noodle. Then he’ll leave. Men want to be pursued and you have to take initiative and enjoy intimacy. If you’re too shy and inactive he’ll try to find a more animated playmate. If you want to see where he stands just play dead because you’ll see him in your rear view mirror.
Men don’t want you to point out when they are a wet noodle
Conversely, don’t try and push your man into intimacy when he’s had it. He won’t be able to be called to task. You need to initiate, but not when he’s incapacitated and unable to do anything. If he’s passed out or just went skiing 10 hours, don’t initiate. If he’s just eaten a bunch of sushi, do initiate. You need to initiate but not when you not supposed to. You don’t want to put him on the spot and find him with no stamina. Being a mind reader might help to see where you stand.
Men have no problem straying
If his needs aren’t met, he will have no problem straying. If you get into world war text with him and you don’t see him for weeks over it, he will stray. If he doesn’t feel loved or appreciated he is going to go elsewhere. He’ll go elsewhere for satisfaction. He might throw himself into work or activities for a while but in the end he’ll throw himself into the arms of another woman. Men will definitely cheat on you if they feel their needs aren’t being met.
The one good thing Men!
Now after having dissed men a little bit here is the biggest secret of all. The secret is that if you have a vested interest in a man it is more than likely that he has a vested interest in you too. If you’ve build a little bit of a relationship with him consider that equity. Men do like equity and if you’re game to improve your relationship and strengthen it then the odds are in your favor that so is he.
That’s the one really good thing about men is that they’ll usually take you back and be willing to stay with you so long as you’re showing you care. You can usually get a man to get back together with you so long as you have this equity built in your relationship with him. Men value equity in a relationship so if you’ve built a little inroad with him then you’ve got more power than you think.
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