Did you send crazy texts to your ex? It will be OK.

Did you lose control of your faculties and send crazy hostile, insulting, or emotionally charged texts to your ex? It will be OK. 

By that I mean, there is still an opportunity for you to get a grip. Texting addition is a very compulsive disorder and you might have gotten set off by a breakup, cheating, lies, even plan cancellations. Some women and men flip out after they’ve lost their cool and continue to text, text, text. Or, they stress out once they re-read all the crazy texts they sent and want to take it all back but they can’t.  The best way to reverse the damage of a crazy text outburst is to leave the person alone starting right now.  Just stop bothering them.

Deal with it

OK so you’ve had an outburst and you sent dozens maybe even hundreds of texts to someone who really isen’t even talking to you anymore.  You flipped out.  Now you’re freaking out over all what you said, hating yourself and worried sick wondering if they are going to block you or even call the cops on you or get a restraining order. OK. You blew it. You blew it by compulsively texting. But now its time to get over it. You had a meltdown. Deal with it. Stop texting him or her.  The best thing you can do right now is stop texting that person.  Go no contact.  Don’t bother them unless they initiate communication.

The first thing to do if you’ve ranted on someone is to just stop texting. This is the smartest possible thing. Time is your best friend here. Stop texting and put as much time between you and your text outburst as possible. If you stop texting for a few weeks, that outburst you just had will slowly fade into the past. The recipient will be shocked and dismayed by your texts but if you just leave them alone, they will most likely get over it in time.

Don’t try to apologize

Once you’ve texted like crazy and realized you blew it, the natural reaction is to want to text like crazy apologizing profusely for the meaner earler texts. Resist all temptation to do this because if you are apologizing profusely notice that you are still texting.  Insulting, followed by goveling, makes you look even more pathetic.  The way to apologize better is to just leave the person alone for a long, long time. Put distance between you and your text outburst. Don’t keep reaching out to the person trying to work your way out of the hole you’ve now dug. It won’t help. Giving them peace and quiet will help however.

If you have a crazy outburst then regret it then have a crazy apologizing groveling phase, you’ll wind up just looking like a psycho, emotionally unbalanced person. Men and women hate dealing with emotionally unstable people who act like children. Even if you are trying to makeup with this person your texts are going to come off as nothing but a tantrum to them. They’ll be thinking, Oh god who is she/he today. That’s why the best way to apologize and make yourself look less crazy than you were, is to simple leave the person alone.

An apology will do little to help someone get over your text blitz bombardment. Leaving them completely alone however, will go a long way towards repairing the damage. If you’ve obsessively text tortured them its unlikely they will be accepting apologies any time soon anyways. The biggest apology you can deliver them in all seriousness, is to just back off. They’ve been blitzed, they are overloaded, and they are not going to be receptive to anything you have to say for a long time.

Stand your ground

You may feel stupid for going postal, however once you leave the person alone for a while your self image is going to correct itself in their mind. In fact, you may even start look like you actually had a backbone.  Yeah you hate yourself for letting them get such a rise out of you but then again you stood up for yourself. 

Obviously you were ticked off over something and you let them know. Now don’t let it take over your life, but consider standing your ground by going totally silent. If you can distance yourself from the outburst you might even realize that hey, you were sticking up for yourself.  Maybe you just weren’t being treated the way you deserved to be treated.  Rather than rise above it you fell into the mud pit.

You never want to become cynical and bitter because that is not attractive at all. But, there is something to be said for being an occasional spitfire, hothead and just plain intelligent. You stook up for yourself at the time. You weren’t some subservient slave. You locked horns, even twisted horns. You took an opportunity to argue, debate, and take your ex-partner off guard. You didn’t stagnate.  You were telling them like it is.  As long as you promptly discontinue your harassment of the person, you may be okay. Just leave them alone. You said what you wanted to say now it does not need to be repeated.

One of the best things you can do to correct a text outburst that you had is to just stop texting and stop communicating with the person. That sends them a message that yes you overreacted and flipped out but you got over it and now you’ve set some boundaries. You’ve decided that whatever they did to upset you like that is not something you want to hang around.

Honor why you were upset

Once you start texting obsessively or losing your composure you will start to self-hate yourself. Why did I do that, you’ll think to yourself. Why did I let this person push my buttons so hard that I just lost it you think. Well, don’t forget that you were not in a bubble. If you’ve never acted like this before, chances are they contributed to the problem. The biggest sociopaths and liars are always the ones with the trail of psycho crazy ex partners who won’t leave them alone.

Once you’ve calmed down, left the person alone for a good long while after your outburst, and given yourself time to think, you may realize that yes you had a good reason to be discusted. You had a reason. Granted you didn’t act appropriately because obsessively compulsively texting them turns you into the problem, but you did have a basis.

In the future, consider distilling down what you have to say. You probably text messaged them in a long winded, stream of consciousness outburst that took way too many words to say what you really needed to say. You were having a tantrum, not a conversation. In the future if you feel yourself about to rant on text message, try to distill the entire rant down into a couple of texts. Forget about the expletives and the name calling and the frustration. Forget about bringing up all the past indiscretions and dragging every single grievance you’ve ever had with this person into the conversation.

Just try to think first before you text next time. Say what you need to say ising the minimum number of possible words.  If you had a crazy text outburst and are presently hating your own guts for what you’ve done, relax. Deal with the fact that in texting the person like crazy you most likely did more damage, sabatoged your chances of reconiliation, and made yourself look like the bad guy instead of them. But you can recover by just leaving them alone and not bothering them anymore. Let time pass after your outburst. Don’t try to apologize, grovel, take it back, or otherwise bother them.  Learn from it instead.

You probably had a reason to be upset and you  need to stand your ground and honor what was pushing your buttons. Next time you feel an outburst coming on don’t text! Don’t let a person push your buttons so hard that you fall into the same bottomless pit of quickstand. Plan next time. Learn next time. Think next time. In the future make sure to distill your texts down to just a few choice words that convery your point as a shorter and right to the point message will bear more weight. Too many texts are way too noisy and whatever point you were trying to make gets too diluted and lost within the tantrum.

Once in a blue moon if you are a spitfire, hothead, arguing, horn locking, stubborn mule, it won’t be the end of the world. Just don’t do it again. The best cure for an obsessive text outburst is to just stop texting. Turn off your texts, block a number, put yourself in handcuffs, distract yourself, do whatever you gotta do to just stop texting. Pretty soon, your crazy text outburst will be ancient history.

If a person continues to send you over the edge and pushes your buttons into these sort of emotionally charged outbursts, you should seriously consider excising them out of your lives. You need someone that brings you up in life rather than brings you down in life to your very worst behavior. If you’re dealing with someone that brings out the worst in you, you should probably be avoiding that person all together. You might be crazy, but you might be with a crazy-maker too.


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