Women constantly ask me this question. Does a player feel any guilt?
The women who are asking this question, are women who have been duped by a ladies man. They got intimate thinking a relationship was blossoming only to find out they were mistaken.
Women are very hard on themselves once they find out they’ve been played by a bad boy. They spend weeks pining and obsessing over their non relationship with him. They most likely got very hurt and are now conniving and mentally torturing themselves with notions of whether they can make him call back, date, and fall in love with them after the fact. As they try in vain getting nowhere but desperate, they start to wonder how their player can be so callous and not care who they hurt in the process of their game playing.
Players have overcome their fear of hurting women like you
Players are callous, and that is something that women can’t easily grasp. Players know that hurting women comes with the territory. After all, they are doing what they can to get their hooks into the woman and once they do, their job is to back peddle out of getting too heavily involved. Players know that intimacy makes women get bonded so yes, they are aware that they are stepping into a situation where in all likelihood, their shiny new toy will wind up hurt by them once discarded or sidelined. Do they care? Nope. It’s part of the terrotory of being a player.
Not only are bonafide players numb to hurting you, they carefully observe you go through the pain in wild fascination and demented glee, learning more and more about how women tick while you writhe in emotional pain. They know that they build excitement with you and escalate things into the intimacy level only to confess after consumation that they aren’t looking to dive into a relationship situation. They know that you’ll be attached then you’ll be hurt. They’ve taken this on and consider it part of the price of having their fun. They would rather be a selfish player than be a sensitive guy who sits around and worries about your feelings.
The players No Strings Attached agreement
Since players know they’ll be hurting someone, they like to arm themselves with as many escape hatches, I told you so’s and disclaimers that they can. They do this by admitting early on or when pressed, that they are not looking for a relationship. The problem is, they are pursuing you at the same time. So, their actions don’t match their disclaimer words. You’ll get hurt no matter how much of a disclaimer the player gave you that he wanted to take it day by day. You’ll get hurt because you’ll become attached. The player doesn’t care about you geting hurt disclaimer or not. He’s just concerned about having his pat excuses all lined up in a row so that once you do get hurt, he can shun the blame off because he forewarned you.
As the player escalates physically with you he’ll be laying down his escape hatch so that if and when you get hurt, he doesn’t have to assume any of the blame, or guilt. He can say, well, I told you that I didn’t want a serious relationship. When you see him change his Internet dating photo and update his profile saying how ready he is to find the one just hours after you were together with him, he is off the hook. He disclaimed himself, he rationalizes, and therefore takes no blame for you going into something eyes wide open. If you get hurt, it is your problem.
To an extent the player is right. If he lays his cards on the table and you take bait then when you get hurt you are to blame. But there is so much duplicity involved. Because all the while the player is saying he won’t commit he is spoon feeding you alot is ish and false hope that if you act just right and do this and that then maybe he will commit. It’s a perfect situation for a player to use you. He has a woman bending over backwards trying to please him and convince him to be monogamous. In the meantime, he continues to pursue other women because he made it clear he didn’t want to be in an exclusive relationship.
How players avoid guilt
Players avoid guilt because they get used to hurting women. They know when they dump a woman that she will cry, complain, whine and beg or get angry. They’ve watched women go through all the drama and they know that in the end the woman will get over it and get on with their life. So, they don’t let themselves get too upset. They feel confident you’ll be fine in the long run. Players don’t care how you feel. The only thing they care about is that they give disclaimers so that they never have to feel guilty for using you.
If you are ruminating about whether your player has feelings deep down, don’t even bother. Players learn a dog eat dog attitude and they hone their skills at it. While hurting women may not be their intention, they are well aware that it is often the case. It goes with the territory. No, they aren’t going to snap into a trance and change to chivilrous at the sight of you in tears. No, they aren’t going to become sensitive and caring because they hurt you. No, they aren’t going to get into a relationship with you because you are upset.
The sickest of players convince themselves that they are hurting you now but doing you a favor in the long run. They think they are giving you the time of your life but also showing you what a man who won’t commit is like. They figure you will go off and find a more beta guy who can give you what you want which is a relationship, and you’ll be better off for it.
The way to handle a player is to opt out
A player is more likely to think he is helping you find your soul-mate by totally messing you over, than he is likely to feel guilty about hurting you. He’ll think he needs to let you fool around so as to not hinder your search for Mr. right. He’ll be more worried about dumping or disappearing on you first (before you have him totally figured out) than giving consideration to your emotional state.
The point is, players don’t play by any rules that are fair to women. It is all about them, and their fun, and their egos. The only genuine effort they put in is to be great in the intimacy department because that’s how they get their hooks into you. They want you so smitten that you are moronically text messaging them weeks after they’ve seen you without even texting you back. They might act charming to get intimacy, but that charm is out the window once they’ve gotten what they want. Charm is a means to an end for a player.
I’m writing this article to help women who get involved with a player and think there is something they can do to fix it. There isen’t. The only way to deal appropriately with a player is to leave him and never have anything to do with him. Stay away and get over him, focus on yourself, and go about getting on with your life. Your only success with a player will be in how fast you are able to get away and stay away from him.
A players motto is to be with a variety of women, avoid commitment, and overcome his fear of hurting women for the sake of his game. Your motto should be to ditch a player at the first sign of seeing through his player behavior. Let him go elsewhere and be her problem or their problem, not your problem.
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