Don’t get upset over response time

Sender says I texted you three times in the last two weeks and you didn’t even deign to respond, you rude *!#@)(!@ %^*#*!  Recipient says, that’s why I don’t respond because you’re !***!()!* psyco.  Rinse, lather, repeat.  That’s how the breakup/harassment cycle works so don’t fall into the trap by getting upset over text response turnaround time.

Harassment by text can take hold when one texter gets upset by the text habits of another texter.  Response time is a big issue for texters and something as simple as not getting a text back can make a person become irrate, especially if it is a romantic relationship.  A situation develops where the one texter S (the sender) is saying why didn’t you respond to my text and texter R (the recipient) is saying why should I have to respond at the drop of a hat, you’re bugging me.  Then, a fight ensues and the upset party S sends some harassing texts and oops there goes the negative cycle. R is going to start to feel like they are getting harassed.

When it comes to love, or even something as simple as confirming plans or a meetup with your best friend, you don’t like to be kept waiting.  If you know the schedule of this person and that they are perfectly available and capable of texting you back, you take it as a personal diss.  Noone likes to be ignored.  Believe it or not, people take text response turnaround time seriously.  And, if they text, and get no response at all, they can get really bent out of shape.  It can be hurt feelings, that turn to anger.

You can read whatever you want to about what it means if you are getting a slow turn around to your texts.  You might in fact be getting a subtle message that this person is heading for the exit and it might make you feel insecure. People have pretty good intuition about these things and you know in your gut if there is a cause for worry.

Regardless of the implications, the golden rule is never get upset if you don’t get a reply.  Never text someone and then get fustrated at the lack of a response.  For one thing, they may not be available at the time you texted or have a good response.  If they are power playing you and making you wait for a response then don’t play into their mind games. Don’t flip out and send harassing texts, don’t get needy, don’t be clingy and pathetic, just don’t get upset at all because it is just a text.

Don’t expect fast responses and you won’t get upset over being ignored.  If you feel like you are being ignored, you might have a basis for it.  A boyfriend that texted you daily that has now gone missing and you only hear from him once a week is a cause for concern.  It may be what you think it is, that you are being phased out.  But think about it, if someone is phasing you out or backing off do you really think that an annoying outpouring of why didn’t you respond texts are going to help your status with that person?  Nope it won’t. 

If response turnaround time is driving you crazy and you text someone who doesn’t see fit to respond promptly if at all, the most gracious thing to do is just back off.  They are being rude, not you. Don’t let it get turned around on you when they ignore you and you flame them and then you end up being the rude one.

You could when you see them next mention that you feel hurt by the lack of faster responses but after that just let it go.  If a relationship is in the skids you are better off not getting upset about turnaround time.  If you let yourself get really hurt by this behavior you might send some regrettable text messages out.  If the person is already bothered by nagging messages and having to respond to them, a deluge of why didn’t you text me texts will only cement their displeasure. They may even start to view your texts as harassment even though you don’t.


This entry was posted in Harassment. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *