Don’t text your thoughts and comments about what a great couple you’d make

A person falls for you because you trigger some sort of natural attraction in them that goes well beyond how you look, your money, your job, what you do for a living, and so on.  OK you think, we all know this.  There has to be some gut level attraction.

But what you may not know, is that you can’t force a person to be attracted to you and more importantly you can’t convince a person to be attracted to you.  The minute you start to try and manipulate and convince someone as to all the reasons they should be with you, they are going to get turned off.  They are going to pull away.  Unfortunately, texting is often the means by which people try to convince their partner to take a relationship further and it almost always backfires.

Why texting useless thoughts is a bad idea

Texting your thoughts about why you should be together with someone is counter productive.   Let’s say you’ve been dating them for a while and now you want to be exclusive but they don’t.  If you start to text them all of your thoughts about why you would make a great couple it is going to completely turn them off.  All of a sudden you are texting and convincing someone as to the merits of having a relationship with you.  Those constitute useless thoughts in the sense that they are not going to advance the relationship.  They aren’t going to do the relationship any good. 

Convincing someone to be with you is not going to do anything towards making them want to be with you.  Going into a fix it type of mentality is going to make things worse for your potential relationship.  If you start to analyze the relationship and nitpick it with texts, the odds are that you’re going to drive your romantic interest further away and create more distance and less of a connection.  Your texts can push them into being more difficult and resistant.

More information is not always a good thing

Texting all of your thoughts, ideas and stupid comments about your relationship or merits of committing or suggesting or trying to convince that person of getting closer to you likely won’t help.  More information is not always better.  Tirelessly analyzing your relationship and relaying that information to the other person via text snippets is obnoxious.  All of a sudden you’re texting and text talking about the relationship rather than doing the relationship and just letting things happen.  The second you try to force feed logic into someones brain is the second they will withdraw.

Focus on creating attraction

Instead of focusing on relationship status and sharing your every thought and comment in a text message to the person trying to convince them to get more seriously involved with you, focus on what attracted this person to you in the first place.  Try to do fun things together and create the situations that makes the person want to be closer to you and spend time with you. 

Focusing on creating attraction and the good things that made them like you in the first place is more productive than dwelling on doubts and obstacles and texting them about it.  Let’s say the person isen’t spending quality time with you.  Instead of texting complaints and thoughts and questions as to why they never spend quality time with you, just invite them to do something that in your mind constitutes quality time. 

If they go, then they are willing to spend quality time with you.  If they don’t go, then they aren’t willing to spend quality time with you.  Rather than text them about it, go to the beach on your own or with other friends.  The point is, get somewhere through your actions and focusing on making plans (either with them if they are willing or with someone who actually does want to see the light of day with you) rather than texting diatribes about how they never spend time.   They either spend time, or they don’t.  There is your answer so you don’t have to text about it ad nauseum.  The answer is evident in observing the persons actions, and texting thoughts and comments about those actions does little good.

When you want more out of the relationship

If you want more out a relationship than you are being offered, conventional dating advice is to do what is counter-intuitive.  That is to say, instead of pushing for more, state what your desires are and do the opposite of push.  Calmly, and confidently back off.  Backing off exudes confidence and will make the person feel more impact than say dumping all of your emotions, thoughts, ideas and reactions onto them in text messages.

Remember that having lets get serious talks and heart to hearts will often backfire.  Relationships that progress well do so naturally with the two people enjoying one another’s company to the point that they just want to spend time together.  Convincing a person to spend time or be more with you does not work.  Removing yourself and being independent works better.

To sum up, texting all of your emotions, thoughts, issues and problems to your romantic interest is like overkill and will likely diminish their attraction for you. Focusing on the positive interactions and creating more of those will bring the person closer. If you want more and the other person doesn’t, you can back off or remove yourself from the relationship without having to go through the machinations of texting your whole entire emotional thought process to them. They’ll get the point when you start spending less time with them.

Keep your thought process to yourself and out of texts

Sometimes you have to blow a relationship by pushing too hard to learn the lesson. Then, in your next relationship you know not to push a person or emotionally dump all of your thought processes onto them. The problem with texting is that sometimes you start to text all of your mental reasoning’s to someone. Instead of a complete thought that be delivered in one single text (after doing all the thinking silently), you send all those intermediate thoughts.  A thought on the way to a though is not a thought, it’s a sub-thought that should not really be texted.

Remember not to text all of your sub-thoughts that are on the way to a thought. Just think silently without texting. Once you have a complete thought, text that. Don’t text along the way. Your romantic interest will tire of hearing all of your stupid thoughts and comments and ultimately hate you for dumping your internal thought process onto them against their will. Think alone and not on text message.  Nobody wants to be privy to your internal thought process. Silent thoughts and comments should not be texted.  Keep it to yourself until you’ve got it all worked out in your mind.  No one wants to know how your mind works.  They don’t care.


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