Dumped by Text Message

I never loved you,
I don’t kove you,
and I also never will love you.
Lose my number

Anyone who has been dumped by text knows what it feels like and it doesn’t feel good. If your boyfriend or girlfriend dumped you by text it will definitely shock and sting you. You’ll be hurt that they dumped you and even more hurt that they unceremoniously used sms text message to do it. It’s the lowest of the low and the most convenient copout to dump someone this way. Broken hearted, you might be asking yourself and wondering why and wanting an explanation. You want to either win your ex back or get some closure at the least. In this article we will go over some of the reasons you got dumped in this lowest of the low manner.

8s Over by text because there wasn’t too much invested to warrant a phone call

With the popularity of internet dating you get people going on dates with so many people. You have to recognize that while you might think you found the one after a few dates, the other person may not share the feelings. You really don’t know them and you also don’t know who else they are going on coffee dates with. As long as you are dating someone online and they are still online with a dating profile active on a dating site, you aren’t exclusive. That means after a few dates the person could decide nah, you’re not for me. For whatever reason. Hopefully you didn’t get physical but even if you did it may have been too early. Once you’re physical you aren’t going to like seeing that person active online and expressing your displeasure in and off itself can cause the very breakup that you don’t want. At any rate, when you have someone continuing to coffee date a variety of people (and you’re scrambling to make them stop) you might get dumped on text.

The reason is that the person does not have much invested in you. If they haven’t met your friends or family etc there may be very little tying you two together other than a few dates and maybe a few nights of passion if that. Therefore out of convenience this person might think its the easiest copout to just send you a text that its not going to happen. They know you’ll be hurt on the one hand yet they probably will never see you again in their life so its rather easy for them to just cut ties painlessly. If you get dumped like this try not to take it too personally. Online dating and speed dating is ruthless and that is just the way a lot of people do it in the dating game these days. Shrug it off and try to move on because you don’t have much invested in them either.

8s Over by text because you badgered them too much most likely by text, and they got fed up

The number one reason there is that you would get dumped by text message is because you are torturing the person by text message and they just get fed up with your texts and dump you to try and shut your texts up and get you off their back. It’s probably your fault in the sense that you allowed too much communication to happen by text along the way so your punishment is that you get dumped by the very communication venue that you enabled them to use in the first place. The irony of the situation for them is that if you get fed up with some ones behavior or texting behavior and then you dump them by text that is the number one way to develop a disgruntled ex or stalker on your hands. If someone texts you all the time and then you dump them via text you are more than likely to get an deluge of horrendous texts exhibiting anger, frustration, and confusion about the dumping. Both the dumper and the dumped will likely be getting what they deserve, which is a lot of texts.

Be forewarned that dumping someone by any measure is a tough exercise but dumping a crazy texter by text is going to amplify their crazy texting. It’s not like they’ll just disappear into the sunset like you hope. There will probably be some rants going on via the text message. Maybe you can just ignore the rants until the person gives up and goes away. The point is that people think its convenient to dump you by text but sometimes a phone call would be a more decisive albeit uncomfortable way to break it off for good. If a person won’t leave you alone on text and becomes scary or threatening you may need to document it and get help if you really feel you have a valid reason to be scared of them.

The moral to the story is that if you over text someone it becomes really, really annoying. So much so, that the person may feel backed into a corner and therefore dumps you over it. That is why when you have an issue with someone you should always try to back up, stop texting, and give the person space. If you demand to know where a relationship is heading way too early in the game or try to put labels and definitions onto it then the other person if they are commitment shy may be running for the hills upon being pressed. Just make sure you are not being dumped because you have relentlessly texted or hounded this person on a specific matter. Persevering and not giving it a rest can get a person fed up and they may actually like you but dump you in a moment of annoyance. Most likely they will get some untimely harassing texts from you and decide at that moment, that’s it they are done. Therefore, be careful pressing someone against the wall too soon or too often especially on text because you may find yourself dumped by text message as a result.

They were never dating you exclusively, you pressed them on it, and they have no plans to

Aside from over texting someone to the point where they dump you out of frustration, this reason for being dumped is the next most common. The reason is that you were never really in a relationship with them in the first place. All of a sudden, you and you alone happen to think you are. So in order to set you straight, you need to get dumped. An example would be if you got involved for a few months dating someone you met on the internet or maybe at work, in college or school. You might think everything is going well because you see each other once a week or so and text and talk on the phone every few days. Yet you really don’t know if you are even exclusive at that point because it is so early in the game.

You might think a few months of dating means relationship however they might think it just means they happen to be dating you. In their mind, they are trying you out and are not married to the idea of being with you at all. So when you all of a sudden act like you own the person or make declaratives about your relationship status, or make exclusivity demands, or even demand to “talk”, they feel like oops oh no, there they go. They were enjoying the goods you were giving without having to address anything real. Now that they are being pressed, they scratch their head and decide they don’t with to be tied down so they go ahead and dump you. They figure, this person want a serious relationship and its a slippery slope since I am enjoying my freedom so no can do lets dump him/her by text and move on to Next.

In most cases if you run across someone who wants to date and try you out into oblivion then you should try to determine their non committal quotient and opt out before they even have a chance to shut you down and dump you on text message. So if you get dumped for this reason just shrug it off and move onto Next yourself. Watch the persons behavior next time and if they don’t seem to want a boyfriend or girlfriend situation and you do, then you be the one to opt out. That would force them to have the talk with you rather than the other way around. Sometimes its better to be the one leaving than the one left behind. Especially if you are a woman in child bearing years or an older bachelor looking to finally settle down, don’t spend your time waiting for something serious to develop while someone continues to date others with no intention of getting serious.

They met someone else or think they can meet someone else better for them

Sometimes you get dumped for reasons you can’t even begin to figure out. I have a friend who was dating someone for four years. They were engaged this person had a child who initially he had no custody of but his situation changed and the child moved in with them. After so much time they broke up for a variety of reasons. She liked the child and had invested so much time she felt awful afterwards. She made a boundary decision that she wouldn’t date anyone with young children after this experience. If she came across someone with children she might meet them but always decided, no, he is not amazing enough for me to want to deal with a new instant family.

So you see, she had deal breakers and conditions in her head and a person could get dumped for not meeting her critera. She might dump the person and them not knowing her previous experience would have no clue as to why they were getting dumped. The point is that many people have preconditions that are relationship requirements for them. For whatever reason, these specific issues are the deal breakers. Upon meeting someone you have no clue what the deal breaker is. You could break the deal without even knowing what the deal is, and get yourself dumped. It is just a fact of life, people want what they want and they can decide what they want and if they’ll settle for less.

Whether what they want is good chemistry, no children, someone much younger, someone who lives nearby, someone that does this or that when intimate, someone that would be good for taking to business dinners, someone that’s athletic, domestic, or has red hair. If you don’t meet the criteria then you could get dumped. The point is if someone decides that you are not for them then they stop caring and if its insensitive to dump you over text its no skin off their back because they already concluded you are not for them. If that’s the case then they care just that much less about how you take the dumping, and they care more about how to make it quick and painless for themselves.

So if you got dumped by text it may be that they thought they could do better and find someone that was within their core requirements whether that be prettier, younger, richer, whatever. When that’s the case there is little you can do but move on. Maybe once they go looking around and don’t find what they want they would come back but texting them to death is not going to encourage them to come back to you. Leaving them alone and then touching base in a few months might.

You made them mad, they told you to change but you didn’t listen, so they got fed up

Sometimes people give ultimatums and you really don’t hear them. It is like your ears are glued shut and you don’t want to listen. If they’ve told you something bothers them a number of times and you remain indifferent about what they don’t like and unable to even hear what they are saying much less change, they might get fed up and leave. These can be anything from don’t text me at work it annoys me, to don’t smoke I don’t want to be with someone who smokes, to don’t curse or raise your voice, to I don’t like the way you lose your temper, to you dress like a slob, to you need to lose weight or something like that.

What happens is that people get selfishly absorbed into themselves and their ears don’t really perk up to the issues that someone really has with them. Let’s take the smoking for example. You might give them lip service for a while about oh yeah you need to quit and get the patch or something. You might make a feeble effort to stop but then they catch you out on the stoop sneaking a cig and pretty soon you are smoking like a chimney again. So they realize nope this person doesn’t get that this is a deal breaker. So they dump you via text message. In this case they actually know its mean and they act mean to you because they are fed up with your behavior.

Another example would be if you flirt with other people and it bothers them they might decide they are hurt and fed up with your flirting and dump you. Since they are deep down upset and even hurt about something that you are up to, they dump you on text message purposely. Its a way to say I‘ve had it with you. Therefore, if you get dumped on text message you should not go ballistic because if you remain calm there is always the possibility that you can talk to this person later. Maybe their feelings were hurt so they dumped you out of hurt but if you had a chance to figure out what their issue was without fighting then they never would have dumped you at all. That’s why it pays not to over react to a dumped by text message.

They already told you in person but you didn’t listen now its being backed up on text

If you are not even in a relationship anymore or ever were as far as they were concerned, then they may figure you don’t even deserve the phone call. For example, lets say that you wanted a serious relationship but they wanted a non-exlusive relationship. They made it clear to you that it was a casual relationship by never calling you on the phone. They thought you understood the terms. Now all of a sudden you are demanding respect and a real relationship but the dog already learned it could wet the bed and it can’t be retrained.

In this case, the dumping is one of those, I thought I made it clear already what our status is and that it will not change. You are the one who can’t accept what I already told you ten times before so now you will get dumped on text and it will be your fault. This is the situation where you got dumped on text because you already were dumped and just don’t get the message. By the way if you still don’t get the message at this point you are one of those people that could become a stalker by virtue of not giving up when you should. Therefore, if you get the I already told you its over dumped on text message, read up on the quit texting material on this web site.

In many cases not only has the person already given you the baseline clues it was over but they are actively pursuing exit plans and new people to get involved with. If they don’t have options already they are well on their way to methodically creating options for themselves. Since they know it takes time, they just string you along for a while if you’re that lost and clueless. Maybe they told you a few weeks or months earlier that they didn’t think it was working out but you brushed it under the rug and chose to ignore it. So they spent the last few months meeting and dating other people. Meanwhile they string you along figuring oh well if they don’t mind to get strung along that’s their choice. Finally they do meet someone and so the dumped on text becomes a final reaffirmation of what they already told you before. This time, its even more final. I met someone else. Act shocked yet months earlier you might have gotten a text that said This isn’t working for me, but you ignored it.

They don’t feel like going into the reasons and confrontation on phone or face to face

Some people have this core integrity where even if you are a perfect stranger they are going to treat you with dignity and respect because this was the way they were raised. Think of courteous Ames from The Bachelorette. He always was on the up and up and if he had to deliver bad news certainly he would do it in the most dignified way possible. But not every one is concerned about their integrity. Some people just don’t want confrontations and they don’t want to see you cry and get all emotional must less angry and putting your fist through a wall. So they dump you on text message to avoid the confrontation.

If you get dumped on text just for a confrontation to be avoided, then you have to look at your own behavior. Seriously. Because if you are an emotional train wreck or a hot head, a person has a legitimate reason not to confront you. In other words, they might have been willing to confront you with a phone call had you been a calm rational person and been able to handle it. But if they see you as too emotional or know how you are and that you’ll hit the roof or start to sob, then obviously they are going to avoid it. So, sometimes they are being a person who lacks integrity, but more than that they be making an assessment of how you’d react. They don’t think you’ll handle it or act right, so then they dump you on text to avoid you freaking out. Consider that you got dumped on text not because they lacked some integrity but because they sensed you would flip. Therefore they blame you for the need to dump on text, not themselves.

If you get dumped by text don’t panic and don’t get angry and don’t respond either

If you got dumped by text it speaks volumes about the person you were dating not to mention the fact that they had no problem dumping you in a rude way which was sure to make you feel lonely and rejected. Texts are for fun and cute love notes and messages. It’s not the mature way to break up with someone. The best thing to do if you get dumped by text is not to panic, not to get angry, and not to write back a single message much less a million messages to the person. It is possible that they are just upset. If you don’t engage with them it is going to be better all around.

Getting dumped on text is bad enough so don’t stoop to their level and start arguing or demanding explanations on text message. It’s so silly. Don’t give them that pleasure as it will likely only cement their decision and make you look desperate. If you get dumped this way do not respond. Take a good long time, weeks if not months, to get calmed down. Once you are calmed down you can process everything and go through all of the things that led up to that dumped by text message. If you played any role in the breakup or really want your ex back, you could approach them calmly after a good long time has passed. At least at that point you’ll be rational not emotional and more ready to see any of your behavior which may have spurned your partner to dump you in this god awful way.


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