First date texting for guys

So she completes your sentences already, and makes you want to open up and tell her things you wouldn’t normally disclose, even though you barely know her! 

Congratulations there must be sparks fling and if your first date goes well then success is in the air.  So, after a good first date just what should you do?  Should you text her and tell her you enjoyed her company?

Let some time pass

Even if you had an amazing time on your first date you may want to let just a little bit of time pass before calling or texting her back.  The reason for this is that it pays to be patient when thinking out your next move. 

For one thing, texting her too quickly can set yourself up for too much text interaction.  It will seem fun at first to pass 80 texts back and forth with playful banter.  But are you going to want to live your life-like that? 

Trust that the pattern of text message frequency and duration that you set with her in the early days of your relation will be the permanent pattern in her mind.  She isn’t going to like it if you text her constantly, get intimate with her, then notch your texting down to once or twice every couple of days.  She will link great meaning to this, and might even freak out.  Therefore, text conservatively from the get go so that the proper pattern of communication is set to something you can realistically sustain.

If you want to let her know that you enjoyed spending time with her, a text can do just that.  But keep it innocent and non-committal.  Let her know you had a great time with her.  It’s a reminder that you haven’t forgotten about her but it avoids any formality of obligation.  Don’t plan a second date with her through text message if you actually like her.  The whole text-to-sex dynamic without any phone calls in between can really be detrimental to the early dynamics of a relation.  Text only communication is reserved for someone you don’t care about, who in that case you are better off not communicating regularly with anyways. 

If you like her, call her

If you like her, leave your second date request to the actual phone.  You know she is going to accept a second date if you shot her a text after the first date and got a positive response.  Remember that if you want communication to get off on the right foot, set an example for her of how you are going to act from the start.  That way, she won’t go psycho if you start to behave differently later on.

The worst part about texting is that you tend to text communicate with people who you do actually know well enough to talk to in person.  But you can’t talk to them on the phone?  Hmm.  And if you can’t pick up the phone to chat with them, it means you must not be that interested in them at all.  So before you get all personal with her on text message, ask yourself if you would even lift your fingers to call this girl up on the phone.  If not, you probably shouldn’t text her either. 

If you are looking for a casual relation and are willing to take the risk of either hurting a girl, or creating a total psycho stalker, then go ahead and denigrate her right down to a text only relation.  Have at it.  Odds are you will flirt on text, arrange to see one another on text, fight on text, and break up with her on text.  She will blow up your phone with texts before all is said and done.  When it’s done, it will be the same as the nothing that it was.  A relationship that never existed but was rather a few texts exchanged and some nominal human interaction. 

If you actually like a girl, and have some integrity, use text as a way to flirt and let her know you are having fun.  Keep texting down to a minimum so that it doesn’t start to take over your life and your time.  Make sure to call her on the phone too so that your relationship doesn’t get into the we only text scum zone.  Texting is too popular to ignore but you should realize that running relations by texts can get too impersonal, slow and tedious.  When texting is not helping a relation one bit, its time to stop.  What is the point to sending texts that are the equivalent to a slap in the face or the itch of a scratch. There isn’t any.

Texting and first date


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