Have you notice your guy listen less and respond less to your text messages as time goes on? Has he stopped initiating and stopped texting you for plans? Do weekends slip by where he is busy or spending time on his own supposedly? Rather than make excuses for him, stop fooling yourself and get real about what this may mean. It is possible that your initial relationship with him is losing the passion that was there in the beginning.
If you feel him pulling back and continue to behave in the same way you are now, the cycle of less connection is likely to continue. This will diminish attraction over time and those special feelings are going to evaporate. Once you are in a downspiral where it feels like he is losing interest you are bound to fall deeper into frustration and act less like your happy self. This perpetuates the problem and will continue to make the relationship worse.
If you want to turn things around and get him to start craving you again, you need to stop what you are doing right now and change. Do not behave in a more of the same manner. If you do, you will wind up on the same path to an outcome. It is time to flip a switch on your behavior and throw you man for a loop. You do this by doing the opposite of what you are doing now. Don’t freak out, don’t insult him, don’t stay quiet, don’t keep pestering him if that is what you are doing. Instead, tep back and think. You need to turn things around so you need to change your own behavior. Remember, you can’t force a change in him but you can change yourself any time you put your mind to it.
Do less for him
One thing that breeds frustration is when you are doing all the heavy lifting in the relationship be it contacting him with cutesy texts to get his attention, asking him for plans, starting up conversations, or doing any sort of favors for him. This accommodating behavior can lead him to take you for granted and assume there is no challenge in attracted you. Once he thinks you are hooked, the passion could die and he will look elsewhere for something that is more of a mental mind puzzle and challenge. If you are too nice and too accommodating he might start to get numb on you and this leads to a reduction in tension, sexual chemistry, and attraction.
Create a big shift in your relationship by dropping the ball on him. That means that you stop texting, stop accommodating, stop being a doormat if that is what you have been acting like. Stop chasing, stop asking for plans, stop asking him how he is, stop texting him sweet nothings, just stop. Now, the key is to stop, but don’t get mad.
Create a vacuum by removing your texts and attention
Now that you are doing less, he is going to ignore you and hope that you come crawling around. He figures that you are always the one caving in and contacting him so he will be reluctant to make any sort of effort. During this time you will likely build up resentment and frustration but you need to let that go. You have spoiled this guy by being the one to keep the relationship going. He’s stubborn and thinks he has you wrapped around his finger so he is going to be loath to suddenly start texting you. But if you wait long enough, he probably will.
If may be weeks before he notices that you aren’t making the effort that you used to. Hmm wait a second my puppy dog isn’t there. Pretty soon he will start to wonder what you are up to and maybe even worry about you drifting away. He figures that he needs to reel you back in and then he starts to make an effort. This restarts the courtship and inspires the sort of intense attraction that he felt for you initially. Now if you can just get busy with other things and not be toxic of miffed it’s taking him so long to look you up, you will hold all the aces.
He’ll be expecting you to be putrid about having been blown off for so long but when you are happy, fulfilled and busy, he is really going to get curious. Attraction can work for men when you are literally ignoring them. In fact, removing yourself from them can inspire more attraction than being there doing everything they want you to. You have to show him a little bit of selfish. Stop giving to him in a way you think he wants you to. Stop trying to know what he wants and needs. In fact, just stop trying to please him altogether. Showering him with praise and compliments gets too sappy. Giving him a bit of tough love and going your own way when he pulls back will actually draw him back to you.
Instead of engaging, chasing, trying to talk, working on the relationship, or asking him what’s wrong, just be completely unpredictable and leave him on his behind. Stop texting him and stop caring what he is up to. Get things done and go out and meet other people to occupy your time. If he wants to see you, then he is going to have to get a lot more enthusiastic, otherwise it is bye bye for him. The great thing about this, is that if he wakes up and comes around then he is investing in you. He is making the effort. He wants contacting you to be his idea. He does not want to be pushed, needled, annoyed or driving into having plans with you. If you create a vacuum then he will eventually feel you becoming distant and he will come find you.
Don’t write excuses for him and become unavailable instead
If a man comes to believe that a woman makes his life better and more interesting than it was, he will have zero problem committing to her. He will get off the Internet dating, call her up on the phone for plans, check in with her regularly, and introduce her to his friends and family. If he thinks he is with the right girl, all of the walls just come down. His commitment fears vanish. Don’t believe for a second that your guy cannot commit. He can and he will and he is perfectly capable of it. This is why women flip out when a man won’t commit to them, but then go on to commit to the next girl that comes along. For whatever reason, you were not right for him and nothing was going to make him commit. Timing and something about the new girl however, make him commit easily.
If he isn’t acting like he wants a relationship with you, then you must trust that he doesn’t. Don’t write excuses for him that he is busy, phobic, commitment shy, and so forth. There may be something in you that he feels is not a commitment match for him. It could be personality, age, family, nationality, social class, career, or any number of things. Pushing him won’t change what he thinks. Backing off when he doesn’t take you seriously, is the only way that he might reconsider that you have something special to offer. Trust me you will not lose your man by backing off. Locking horns and trying to force a relationship will get you nowhere. Do not write him texts interrogating him about his whereabouts, his behavior, or about the relationship and where it is going.
If you want to get him craving you again you need to do three things. First of all, do less for him than ever before. Then, create a vacuum by removing yourself without getting hateful or resentful about it. Lastly, don’t make excuses for him and stick around as his doormat girl while he looks for the real thing. Your willingness to blow him off and be along, or move on with someone else, will make him want to connect with you so he doesn’t lose you. He needs to know what he is missing. If he doesn’t come after you then he really wasn’t interested in you and you saved yourself some serious wasted time.
Quit getting frustrated and quit trying to full in the gaps if your relationship is fizzling. Back off instead and do not cater to a man who takes you for granted. If he likes you he will miss you and have to come look you up. This puts him back in to the pursuit mode that created the magic and passion you originally had with him. Don’t obsess about your relationship status with him. It becomes stale and tiresome. Try to have fun and enjoy his company because this is the best way for him to come around. If he enjoys spending time with you tremendously, he will be back for sure. Text him rarely and when you do make it fun and airy rather than serious.