There are many things to like about text message. It’s easy, sneaky, fun and ubiquitous. It makes it easy to say high, send a quick message about a meetup, or just to flirt. That’s all great but when it becomes the only way, or primary way, that a man is communicating with you in a relationship Houston there is a problem. More insidious is the fact that he only texts you, is the fact that you delude yourself that it’s no big deal because texting is so popular, and let him get away with lazy communication.
Are you an unwitting booty?
The problem is that women allow men to get away with crumb and user based communication, because they delude themselves into thinking that everybody texts, so it is ok. No, it is not OK. If he is only texting you, then wakeup because you may just be a booty to him, not a relationship. He thinks you understand the parameters because he boxes you into text message and you like a dum accept the terms and keep hooking up with him. But in reality, you don’t accept it. You are would be called an unwitting booty. You think he likes you because he texts you, but the fact that he never calls you and really acts like he likes you, gets swept under the rug. Such self-convincing behavior will do you in every time and is inherently flawed.
Here ye, Here ye, if he really likes you then texting will not be the only way he communicates. A short text mid day is a nice gesture and all, but if heavy discussions are happening on text message, you are not by any stretch of the imagination, in a heavy relationship. You are likely barely in a relationship at all.
Texting should be the icing on the cake in a relation, something that adds to communication by phone, email, and in person conversations. If all you do is text, it’s a horrible relationship and the fact that you accept it means you have low self-respect. if you accept that all he does is text you, drop by without setting up or asking you on a proper date, and makes plans last-minute, then the fault becomes yours, because you tacitly approve his rotten behavior. If a guy really likes a girl, he will become un-rotton real fast. He will get off his bum and do more than bum dial you on accident. He will call you to hear your voice.
Now that you know that his texting only and refusing the phone is not just a preference of his but his slap in the face way of telling you that you are just a booty text, what can you do about it?
Stop tacitly accepting text only relationships
You can stop accepting text only relationships. Now, understand that this might mean you lose the guy altogether. Because, he has gotten away with a minute text to keep you hanging and dangling on the line. You accept being a dumb booty so why should he change? Men like the path of least resistance and if you are easy to string along, he will take that path. Why should he call, or plan dates, or set things up in advance, when he does not have to?
If he calls you at the last-minute to stop by and you jump at the drop of a hat, he knows that you are good to go as a nice doormat. Meanwhile, he can collect phone numbers online or at the gym, local hike, party, or social event. He can juggle options and string you along never making any sort of commitment because you don’t require it.
Even worse than the fact that he will string you along, is the fact that a guy that has zero intention of really getting involved in your life will keep you around because you make it convenient and don’t cause him much problems. If you are obedient and accept a cruddy relation graciously or with little complaint, he will be all the more willing to keep you in the harem even though he knows deep down he will never convert you into a girlfriend. That is how you get stuck waiting, hoping, and deluding yourself.
The solution is real simple to the problem. You simply throw down the gauntlet. You ask him nicely to call you. Even if you have to say it flat-out. Then, you see what he does. Does he vanish into the booty wind off onto other conquests? Trust that you never had him in the first place and now that his gig is up he will move on. You could even tell him straight up. All you have done is text me every couple of weeks. If you can’t increase that effort at all its a sign that you have no intention of really caring for me so no hard feelings but I am done here.
It is scary but you do have to grow a backbone and you will most likely lose your barely there boyfriend once you do this. But on the other hand, you free yourself of the burden of being the doormat to a man who doesn’t care about your life and is in the meantime dissing you so hard that he is looking around and sniffing under corners for other women whilst barely bringing himself to actually dial you number. If you think this guy is going to get serious about you think again.
So there you go. The solution to getting him to call you instead of text you is as follows. First, you stop being available for plans by text. Second, you come right out and tell him that you deserve a phone call. Third, you be fully prepared to lose him when he does not step up to the plate. No caving in allowed. You don’t have to be mean, rude, or demanding. Just say it like it is. Believe in yourself. If you had self-respect and he liked you for real, he would want to call you, want to see you, want to communicate with you, and want to please you. You would not be having such issues in the first place. You would be surprised, he may ditch you for a few months then come slimming back around with a little bit more respect for you.
If you lack the backbone to throw down the gauntlet and give that ultimatum of, if you aren’t willing to pick up the phone and call me I am not willing to give my body to you, you could try a short period of soft-peddling before you do the gauntlet throw. The thing to do would be to nurse him into better behavior. For example, he wants to drop by, you ask him to go on a hike or go do something fun instead. He text you, you text back less and drop hints like call me can’t text now. You could even stop your text plan, then he has to call or you’ll be out of touch.
Soft-peddling can give you a feeling for if he is malleable at all. If you see him sinking his heels in and find yourself in a power struggle where he still won’t give an inch, well then you have seen his stripes. Throw down the gauntlet and let him go string someone else along. Sure you might lose a real hot guy, but he was never your guy to begin with. He was a real hot guy looking for the One while using you in the meantime.
Growing a spine when dealing with men can surprise you. Sometimes, it’s just what they need to see you in a different light. Just remember that if they vanish on you, then they decided you aren’t worth an increased effort. Is that who you want to be with? Someone who does not think you are worth anything? You’ll be depressed and lose a guy hot guys because of this but your self-respect and inner strength will remain in tact. This can save you a lot of time, even years of emotional damage. You can spend a year all alone bettering yourself until someone new comes along, or you can spend years on end chasing a pipe dream and contorting yourself over a guy that is not even in love with you to pick up the phone and call you. Your choice.