If you are dating a man and want him to commit to you and only you, be careful how you approach him about it. If he is not dating you exclusively and you push to hard you may lose him altogether. The fact is, that if you really knock the socks off a man he is going to want to commit to you and be sure that you are not seeing anyone else either. If he doesn’t do it on his own, it is doubtful that you can force him into it just by asking or demanding. It’s more about how you act (rather than what you demand), that will encourage him to commit.
Get him to commit
Some men think that if a woman is trying to hog-tie them into commitment or exclusivity that she is too clingy. Not all men think like this, but many do. If you come right out and demand a commitment especially before knowing him all that well, you risk that he will run for the hills. If he has any type of commitment issues and you push him, you might fail at what you are trying to do.
Determine if he is seeing other women
You really don’t know what other woman a man has stuffed in his back pocket when you first start dating him. If a man you are dating is seeing other women you are likely to be driven crazy about it inside. Just your jealousy alone can destroy your relationship. But if you don’t say anything, you might feel like you are tacitly agreeing to his philandering dating lifestyle.
These other woman are going to bother you to no end, but it may not be worth asking him about them or bringing up the fact that they bother you. You may be better off ignoring them. Let him think you are above it, or that you just don’t care. In the meantime, go out with people yourself if at all possible. This isen’t game playing, this is treating your relationship with him the same way he is treating his relationships with you. It’s a way more realistic posture than pretending you are exclusive with him even though you aren’t from his perspective.
Don’t be so available to a man dating others
Don’t make yourself so available to a man who is pursuing and dating other women. If you are too available for plans then you will quickly be slotted into the position as the sure thing, fallback plan, backup girl, or whatever you want to call it. He will continue to pursue and date women and you’ll be the one that gets fit into his schedule when none of his other new options pan out. It is not a good place to be.
To avoid falling into the available backup girl trap, make yourself unavailable. Sadly, you might not see him as much. However there is a chance that he will slowly learn that if he really does want to see you at all he is going to have to make a bit more of an effort to make plans with you. Don’t be available last minute. Don’t make impromptu plans with him the day of.
Some men go crazy with desire when they are faced with the idea that they might actually lose you. It is this sense of urgency a man feels that can help propel him towards commitment with you if he isen’t demanding it in the first place. Let him always think there is a chance he may lose you. To make this even more effective, make sure to double tantalize him when you do see him. Liken this to showing a baby a fun rattle or toy then taking it away from them. Such teasing makes them want the toy more but in this case it’s you as the prize and he’s a grown man.
If you let that separation rubber band stetch and stretch, it builds tension and tension often translates into attraction. With the tension building he won’t be able to wait until he can see you again only to find out he has to wait because he hasn’t made you a priority and thus has been back burner-ed by you. Once you have that sense of urgency going in him you are more likely to get a commitment. If he feels like he can date ad nausea while still having you available like a doormat for him, he won’t be motivated to change anything. Why would he change anything if he is having his cake and eating it too?
If a man hasn’t asked for commitment himself then he might not feel any sense of urgency to tie himself down with you. Men will commit to the right woman and all the pat excuses are total bologne. He may not think you are the best he can do. He also may be dating other women, open to pursuing other opportunities, or taking advantage of your availability and accentance of his continued dating. Create that sense of urgency in him to make him realize you are not a doormat for him. If he really is dating other women it will take plenty of willpower. He has other things to do, and you don’t. So try to get busy or you will drive yourself crazy and cave in calling him begging him to see him.
Bring up commitment when the timing is good
Make sure to bring up commitment when the timing is right. For example, do it when things are going well between you rather than when you are fighting. After the two of you have had fun together you could make a comment that you would like to spend more time with him. Try to put the idea in his head about how the two of you are great together. That way, he could get used to the idea. If things are going really well between you two, then all you have to do is tell him you think you should take it to the next level.