One of the biggest lead in queries to this site addiction texting is men typing in queries to Google such as Girlfriend is texting me less. So, it really goes to show that men are just as concerned about texting’s effectiveness as women are. So I decided to go through what kinds of text are going to attract a girl and keep her attracted verses those that don’t.
Most men like to use text messages to flirt and get closer with their girlfriend however flirting on text message should never be done too early in the relationship because it can come off as disrespectful. It is best left for after you get to know her and are sure she feels good chemistry with you. Even after you have been intimate you have to feel out if she is the type of girl that likes this thing. If she’s close to you and really likes you, and she also texts, then she will want to flirt and play just as much as you do. Flirting with texts works best if it is only done on occasion when you aren’t able to see her for a period of time. That way it is spontaneous, fun, doesn’t get old and it never becomes a pattern.
Reasons to text her: Initial Contact
Sometimes you will be texting her to make some initial contact after meeting her. If you just met her or maybe she gave you her number off of an internet dating site then you might think to text her. For initial contact, a text can be okay. But I will say that most girls are onto the whole game player tactics and they aren’t going to appreciate being asked out from a text message one bit, nor are they going to want to have a real conversation on text.
If it’s an initial text you could send one that simply says Hi it’s (you) from such and such, When is a good time for me to call you? This can be cool because it’s polite, it doesn’t dwell on the text message medium, and it actually gives her the ability to give you a good time to call so you can talk to her. All good. She’ll also like it because you’re using text the right way which is for a short note. She will like that you are going to call and since you don’t know her or her schedule you are just being polite and making sure you can catch her at a good time. Nothing wrong with that. When she says it’s a good time, even if she says now is fine, call her!
Reasons not to text her: to Keep you on her mind until next time
I don’t think you need to text her in order to keep yourself on her mind. If she likes you, she’ll be thinking about you whether you text her or not. It’s actually a big blunder to text a girl too much and too often. It is better to leave her hanging on the edge of her seat in total suspense. While it will drive her crazy it gives her the fear of loss. When she doesn’t hear from you she will think about how much she does actually want to hear from you. It does a weird thing to her where she starts to romanticize the date you had together. Oh shoot, the date was actually pretty fun and he was pretty cool, and cute, and I do need to distract myself from blah-blah who I just broke up with, etc. She’ll play you up in her mind if she thinks you are a tad unobtainable. When she doesn’t hear from you she’ll be evaluating how few guys she really has on her horizon and then dwelling on how she might be sitting home dateless on her next night off if you don‘t call her. She‘ll start to stare at the phone. All this longing will ravel through her mind while you are not texting her!
Thus, the best way to keep her on your mind is to text her far less that what you’d like to. If you are really into her and wondering if you should text that day, force yourself to wait a day or two. Women like the chase too and they are going to have a greater attraction to a man who they feel like they have to work for, rather than someone just immediately fawning all over her. If you fawn all over her with non stop texts she’ll just want to swat the fawning away but if you don’t fawn on her then she wants to get to know you better. It is sad but true – you need to leave her with an ample dose of intrigue, mystery, and longing feelings to create chemistry and attraction. You don’t have to take it too far on her by blowing her off and being mean, but do give her a suspenseful thumping heart. Get her passion blood flowing.
Reasons to text her: Escalate relationship to playful flirtatious level but only once you know her and she feels comfortable
A girl definitely wants to be around a confident man with an alpha male personality. The more confident you are in flirting with her the better. The important thing though is the timing. Timing is key. It’s crucial never to get romantically suggestive on text message early on. Never, never escalate to explicit flirtation, inappropriate language, or even teasing, until have you have at least been romantic and intimate together in real life. In other words don’t even go there until you know she is comfortable with you and there is proof of it because she already has been physical with you and demonstrably into it.
If you get too flirtatious before you are intimate with her, she is going to be totally put off. It comes across as pushy actually. I’ve had people from online dating start to ask me questions about everything from Las Vegas to my love life. Frankly, a man gearing or steering the text chat towards physical undertones too early on will flag himself as rude and get blown off by most girls. You don’t really know this girl yet and it just seems out of line to be flirting aggresively. That’s not acting like you want to get to know her, that’s acting pushy. If you catch a girl that’s rebounding hard she might actually slip up and flirt with you before even meeting you or very early on in the dating process. If she does, she is making a mistake and you are really letting her. If your goal it to merely have an intimate encounter you might act like this, but its nonetheless rather mean. Would you rather have an intimate encounter with a girl who is not thinking and behaving recklessly or would you rather be with a girl that genuinely likes you and is really into you?
Early relationships that get to explicit flirting right away just acquire a distasteful flavor to them, no matter who starts it. If she goes along it means nothing since she will probably embarrass her own self so much that she will never bring herself meet you after that. These first meets that drift into flirtation on text too fast either fizzle before ever meeting because the people took it too far and now would feel awkward to meet, or they fizzle after the first few dates because you realize you are getting too close too fast with a near stranger. It just sours things somehow. Suddenly, it seems like something unsavory and not a date which is what she wanted. Never get flirty right off the bat with a girl it’s just uncouth.
If you have been intimate or you know at least there has been romance between the two of you then you are pretty sure that she does like you. And you actually have something to talk about. If your schedules are limited due to school, work, children or whatever, then you can escalate a relationship nicely once there is a comfort level between the two of you. You can feel her out but if she really likes you then she will be open to some flirty texting on nights where its impossible to see each other. These flirts should not be regular. Keep them intermittent, sporadic and just once in a while.
Don’t let explicit texts set the tone of the whole relationship on text if you really like this girl. For example, don’t text at all for a week then send her a nice compliment out of the blue where a few flirty texts fly between the two of you. The next week, think of something fun to do with her like hiking or going to a fair or concert instead of flirting. Mix it up.
Reasons not to text her: Because you are bored and thinking about her
Text messaging out of boredom should be avoided. When you are thinking about her and text her mandane things like What’s up and How is you Day texts on a regular basis that really don’t go anywhere she will get numb to it. Those type of texts don’t even require much of an answer. So they are really superfluous.
Remember some of the texting blunders when it comes to texting girls. Don’t text back so quickly or appear too needy for her texts. Don’t drum up so called funny jokes to text her which constitutes trying too hard to talk to her and get her to like you. Don’t let the girl dominate on text. That means, don’t let her control how long you converse, when you converse and when you don’t. You control it instead. Text her erratically, sporadically, and randomly. Likewise, don’t dwell on text with her for as long as she wants. Just because she has a free hour you don’t have to nurse her. Tell her you are busy instead.
Lastly, timing is everything when it comes to flirting on text with her. Some girls will like flirting and some girls won’t but almost all girls will hate and turned off by it early on in a relationship. Don’t ever dare do it early on as it will utterly sour her and sour your chance of having the first few meetings go normally. Only escalate to flirting when you have some intimacy already flowing, when you know she likes you, and when are totally confident she will feel comfortable being playful with you. Bringing up something cool or good that happened when you two were together can be a great way to get playful, sort of like an inside joke on something you two have shared.