Girlfriend material verses a purely physical designation, and text message

Have you ever wondered why men will designate one girl as total girlfriend material and another girl as just a night-call or intimate relationship?  Wonder no more.  Here are a few real answers for those who want to know.  If you find yourself locked into that notoriously awful purely physical relationship category with a man there really are reasons.  Understand the reasons so that you know what to do and whether to stay in such a deal or opt out.

Sometimes, it is how you behave that determines the relationship

There are certain behaviors that a girl can do that turn a mans brain like a switch from girlfriend material to physical relationship only.  It can be a girl that is promiscuous, has been around the block so to speak, or that accepts poor treatment from men.  If there ever was a self fulfilling prophecy, its that if you accept poor treatment you will in fact get treated poorly.

The sad fact is that a man will test a woman and if he can get into her knickers and intimate without every having to date he will.  The problem?  He won’t want to date her after that since she’s accepted that she doesn’t need to be dated.  It’s really sad because if a girl gets momentarily swept off of her feet and throws caution to the wind skipping over the dating phase she can become a late night only girl for that man.  Even though she isen’t that type of girl at all, suddenly she is.  She lapsed.

It it very unfortunate but if a man can get away with poor treatment of a woman and he has the personality to take advantage, he will do so.  Therefore, it is imperative to respect yourself and demand girlfriend treatment and nothing less.  Sometimes, you have to pass over men in order to keep to your standard.  You might miss out on some handsome hunks but you keep your self respect in tact.

The second you accept an intimate only situation is the second that you become a hang out girl not a date.  If you don’t want to do it, be prepared to ditch the guy who pulls this move.  Don’t enter the lets hang out zone and if a man tries to get you to do so, don’t see him.  If you are attractive, have a good personality, and get out in the world, you should be able to be real girlfriend material to somebody.  Even if a man is low on finances, he will figure out something fun to do with a girl he really likes. 

If you don’t want to be used for physical reasons you have to be able to step up and demand proper dates and furthermore, you must be willing to skip over the men who don’t deliver them no matter how attracted you are.

Sometimes, the man knows he can do better so he takes advantage of the relationship

Some men have a pretty strong sense of self and they really do know what category of women they are able to attract.  An alpha male has a strong sense of his worth in the dating marketplace.  Sometimes an alpha male will come across a woman that he likes enough to be intimate with but in the long run he knows he can do better.

The girl may not be sleazy whatsoever.  She might be a great girl.  But inherently he knows that he will settle with a higher caliber girl.  I will give you an example.  A handsome middle aged man gets into a physical relationship with a much older, divorced woman with children.  He may love her, but inherently he has in mind a different girl to settle with.  He may be able to get a woman 10 years his junior. 

He may want to have more children of his own rather than acquire responsibility towards her children.  He may not agree with her lifestyle or viewpoints.  She might not be able to travel or get away like he desires.  She might not have enough personal time for him.  He may be just coming out of a divorce and not ready to be seriously involved.  For whatever reason he likes her very much but not enough to really take her on.

So there is the case where a man likes you, but he knows that he has a higher worth in the singles marketplace and can eventually find someone that fits more to his total ideal woman.  He’s on the scenic route to finding something he considers ideal.  This is the type of man who will get involved because he enjoys a woman’s company or intimacy, but he won’t come through for her in the long run.  He plans to move on when a better opportunity comes his way. 

In order to control the relationship so that it goes nowhere, he lowers her expectations.  He treats her like an intimate encounter.  He isen’t reliable and makes sure she can’t rely on him.  He makes sure she knows that he will not be his for the long term.  He drops strong hints by saying he is not ready for relationship.  Whenever there is progress in the relationship he will do something shabby to set it back and disqualify her.  Whenever she has expectations that she’s his girlfriend, or acts like it, or pressures him on the topic, he draws back. 

A man who won’t commit to an exclusive relationship will bend over backwards even being mean if he feels like he needs to, to limit the relationship.  Sometimes he thinks (misguidedly) he’s doing her a favor by not letting her get any ideas about the two of them. Ultimately, he’s more likely to just hurt her even more by such restrictive and punishing behavior.  He might also pick fights and make excuses when other opportunities come his way and he needs to clear the deck for them.

Sometimes, he’s out of your league and the relationship is not realistic

Some women will lapse into a purely physical relationship for a once in a lifetime opportunity to be with someone who is out of her league.  For example, you’re an average looking woman and a virtual 100% Adonis man magically appears at the local club.  She may experience temporary insanity to be with someone who probably wouldn’t date her in the light of day.  It’s a forbidden fruit type of thing that lure some women in to such sub-par fleeting encounters. 

Studies have shown that some women who fall into phsyical only relationships did so because they wanted to be with someone substantially more attractive even if just for a short period of time.  This situation can be dangerous without practicing safe intimacy by the way.  If you do go there, the shorter it lasts the better actually.  Woe be it to the woman who falls in love with a beautiful bad boy that sees her on occasion but won’t ever take her seriously.

Often times a women’s explanation for falling into a mere romance or fling was the massive chemistry that swept her common sense out the window.  “He was the most handsome man physically I had ever laid my hands on” she rationalizes.  For that mystique of being with the cutest guy ever, certain women lower their standards and accept crumbs.  It’s a fantasy thing.  It can come out of boredom, naivety, loneliness, or at a moment in time when she is emotionally weak and falls prey. 

An example would be having a fleeting romance with a handsome man when on vacation or out of town on business.  Another example would be biding time or seeking out adventure or mischief until something real comes along.  Another example would be a women in a lonely phase or newly dumped.  It can happen to a woman that is seeking some sort of validation that she is still desirable.

Sometimes, it is a rebound relationship

There are times where two people get involved for purely physical hedonistic reasons.  They might both be going through a divorce or separated or just fall into a physical lust.  Women even instigate these relationships for example if they want to be with a younger man but the relationship isen’t practical for them in the long run.  Times have changed and substandard relationships can happen to men these days too.  Younger men can fall into being just a boy toy if they become infatuated with a married or older woman that can’t really be with them.

If both people know and accept what’s going on then its fine.  The problem is that usually one person develops more feelings than the other leading to fighting and then the demise of the arrangement.  Since women are more emotionally based it is typically she who gets hurt.  Disastrous collateral damage is also an issue and should be considered carefully if there is marriage or children in the fray.

Self esteem is the weapon against shoddy relationships

If you want to avoid being treated poorly then you need a heavy dose of self esteem.  You need to not put up with a guy’s poor treatment.  Stand up to the man who treats you poorly and just say no way.  If you don’t accept anything less than good treatment, you won’t fall prey to such limited and ultimately abusive relationships.

Text correspondence is a major red flag that you aren’t girlfriend material in his eyes

If you aren’t sure what your status is with a man you needn’t ask him.  Just look at his behavior.  Number one behavior of a man in it just for the physical is that he texts you rather than calls you.  Number two behavior is that he wants to hang out after he texts you rather than go out somewhere with you.  Number three behavior is that he doesn’t return your texts because you aren’t his priority.  Number four behavior is he breaks plans and texts you last minute because he doesn’t know what other opportunities may come up for him.

Text message behavior tells you so much about a mans intentions.  If you want a physical relationship make sure it is your choice.  Make sure it doesn’t last long because the longer it lasts the bigger the potential for getting hurt.  Studies show women don’t feel good about themselves after settling for less.

You can’t change the relationship’s direction once it’s been set into motion

Once a relationship goes south into the physical only zone it is unrecoverable.  A man will rarely change his designation.  You’ll find yourself in a complete no win situation.  He’ll never be yours period.  The longer you stay in hoping to change his mind, the more that time will just pass.  You’ll merely get older.

He won’t change his mind.  In the end your self esteem will be damaged if you stay in one of these relationships for a long time.  They are dangerous.  When you come up empty handed after a physical relationship that dragged on and on, you’ll be bitter about the time you spent.  The less emotionally involved you are in this type of relationship the better off you’ll be.  The more invested you become the harder it is to get out and get over it.

Relationships rarely jump tracks from friends with benefits to girlfriend.  You’ll kill yourself trying to make one jump tracks but it won’t change.  You’ll fight tooth and nail but in the end you won’t end up with that man in love with you or with you.  He’ll never be yours.  Another girl who didn’t get dragged through the mud by him will get him instead. 

These relationships feel good for a while, then they drag on, then people get hurt.  Much depends on your personality.  There are certain women who think like a black widow and they are the only type of women that can handle it.  Such women usually have many options with men and can take or leave them.  They believe nothing is a guarantee and they live day by day.  If you’re able to live for the moment and deal with it, you might be able to handle it.  If you need love and security, or are looking for a long term relationship, skip past the man who would designate you as a physical only companion and save yourself a big headache.

Hopefully this explains how and why some women get designated as physical relationships only verses girlfriend material. It explains how and why women allow themselves to be branded as such.  Women who won’t put up with a man’s shoddy treatment avoid these god awful relationships altogether.


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