Oneitis is that love sickness disease that makes him become infatuated with you and think about you all the time. Most men see oneitis as a really bad thing. They don’t want to be completely obsessed over a girl and oneitis may as well be the plague as far as men are concerned. The good news is that if you know what causes men to get oneitis, you can use some of those psychological strategies to get the man you are dating more addicted to you. Let’s look at what gives men oneitis and give you ideas for how to use this knowledge to get your man more wrapped around your little finger.
Don’t always give him what he wants
If a man comes down with oneitis, he becomes infatuated with one woman in particular. The fact that there are a million other girls to meet who are better than her goes right over their head. No matter how much they go out and meet women, they still remain infatuated and obsessed with that one woman who they fell hard for. And guess what, usually that woman is the very one that broke their heart. In other words, they couldn’t get what they wanted from her. She either cheated or she didn’t want them. Maybe, they were in love and then she left him. A man is only going to fall in love a couple of times in his lifetime. Therefore, the women that they do fall in love with always leave a lasting mark.
Use the knowledge that men pine for the very woman that loved and then rejected them. Use it by never giving that man exactly what he wants. The minute you become an available doormat for a man is the minute he will cease pining and obsessing over you. By not always caving in to a man you will remain a challenge to him and someone he has to chase. If he does something you don’t like, don’t be afraid to call him onto the mats about it. Never be afraid to let a man know that you see right through his games. Give him a little dose of rejection if the situation warrants it, for example if he starts to take you for granted. Women tend to walk on eggshells with a man thinking that if they do anything wrong that the man will leave and find someone more willing and obedient. Wrong. It’s when you are too willing and obedient that he will leave.
Don’t get insecure about all of his dating options
Whenever a man comes down with oneitis, he tries hard to control his runaway emotions and get over it. He tries to cure himself by adopting the abundance mentality. He tells himself over and over that there are a million women to meet out there and he drowns himself into dating other women to put his oneitis at bay. Instead of cutting off his pinky to be with his oneitis woman, he becomes a wandering dater that tries to explore other options and distract himself. He reminds himself that there are hundreds of women out there that are just as great as she is and thousands that are going to be even better for him than she is.
Women sometimes notice that as soon as they start to get closer to a man, is exactly the time at which the man pulls back. Maybe he is pulling back because he sees himself or her getting emotionally involved. To save himself from getting pressured in to a committed relationship he tries to create distance. Most women when they feel this start to scramble after the man and close that gap. It’s natural to want to close the gap to regain that feeling of closeness. But it almost always has a negative effect on the relationship because when a woman tries to close the gap she automatically becomes the pursuer. Remember, men get oneitis over that one woman who rejected him. So becoming the pursuer is not going to help your cause at all. Pursuing him when he pulls back will only hurt the cause.
Rather than pursuing him, you need to steel yourself and become that one women who loves herself and doesn’t seem to care whether he comes or goes. Instead of getting all emotional and bent out of shape over the millions of other women out there all of whom are threats to your relationship with him, you need to stop caring. In other words, you know you’ve got competition but you have the attitude of ok if you don’t want to be with me run along to all of those other women then. Knock yourself out. It’s totally counter-intuitive but the less you care about his numerous options with other women, the better off you’ll be. Trust me that if you don’t care what he is doing, his freedom is going to seem a lot less fun to him. Pretty soon he’ll be back to wondering about you, the one woman who doesn’t even care what he is up to. Bingo, oneitis.
Train yourself to let the relationship rubber band stretch
The better you are at letting the rubber band of your relationship stretch and stretch and stretch, the better off you are. It sounds totally crazy but the less you text him, call him, and talk to him, the more he is going to think about you. Women think that giving gifts, love notes, emails, texts, and contact increases his attraction when it fact it doesn’t. You’d be better off not doing a thing for him. Stop asking him questions about what he is up to and stop seeking rapport with him. Don’t be there for him, don’t be boring and don’t be needy. Don’t be afraid to tease him, don’t be afraid to go for long periods without talking to him or texting him, and make sure to act indifferent with respect to his other options with women.
You’ll want to let that rubber band stretch and stretch until he is coming back to you for attention and affection not the other way around.
Take care in the way you make him feel
One of the things that causes a man to fall in love is that he feels a certain way with one woman and not with the others. So while you want to keep your distance, make sure that when he does make an effort to see you that you make him feel great when he is around you. Make him crave those moments where he has that bond with you. Most of the time its not your looks, career or money that attracts him the most. It’s the fact that he wants to be around you. Even prolific daters admit that one woman becomes special to them when they know that they would rather spend time with her than with anyone else they are dating. So, it pays to have your basic mood set to happy rather than stressing and griping over life’s problems or your relationship status with him. The more you are happy in your own world and detached from him, the more he will be attracted to your world. And the more fun he has around you, the more he will want to spend time with you over any other women.
A man gets oneitis when he is infatuated and thinking about you all the time. Make sure to give him reason to think of you. If you don’t always do what he wants you to do it will give him pause for thought. If you aren’t jealous he will wonder why. If you can go for long periods without having to text him or contact him, it will make him pine over you and he will be curious what you are up to. Finally, if you are happy and fun to be around, he will be drawn in and relish time he can spend at your side because of the way he feels when he is around you. All of these oneitis tips should help make him more addicted to you.