Texting is a great form of communication when it adds to … something. It’s when it becomes the only means of communication that tells you there is a problem. If texts are a mere compliment to other means of communication like phone calls then you are in good shape. But if you are landing here because a guy only texts you and doesn’t communicate with you any other way than by text message, then you have a real problem.
If you want to get a boyfriend who gives a darn about your life I suggest you minimize your text messaging with him. Start to hate it. Only use text message for quick notes such as letting him know you are running late. Flirt texts every now and then are OK, provided the man you are flirting with is actually your boyfriend not your friends with benefits or somebody else’s boyfriend altogether. You know the difference. If you know where he lives, hang out with him and his friends, and run errands together he is your boyfriend. If he shows up at your place in the middle of the night and you don’t even know his peeps, he isn’t your boyfriend.
You aren’t even worth a five-minute phone call
If you facilitate your man in getting away with only texting you, you are giving him the wrong message. There is no voice, facial expressions or reliable way to interpret text messages and it is certainly not the venue for conducting a healthy relationship, discussing your relationship or having arguments. Texting is the worst because when you text him about your relationship status you are already demeaning yourself right there. If your guy only texts you then take it as the insult it really and truly is. Because the guy doesn’t even think you are worth five minutes of his phone time. He can’t even pick up the phone and call you but would rather rely on the lazy means of communication. See the truth.
If your guy only texts it means that he is giving you but crumbs, demeaning you, not respecting you, and hoping to keep using you and even sleeping with you if you are even that stupid to fall for it. As long as you let him only text you once a week or once every few weeks and continue to let him get intimate with you or flirt with you, he will continue to do it. Meanwhile he will pursuing god knows what, in the name of being busy. He will sink to the lowest level you allow him to because remember, that men are dogs. They learn to get away with whatever you allow them to get away with. They go from staying in your kitchen contained like you want them to be, to ripping up the couch in your bedroom and running all over your house if you let them.
Enabling his bad behavior
If he is texting you and getting away with it then it can only mean one thing, which is that you are enabling the behavior by texting him back. If he sends you texts late Friday or Saturday night calling you hot or asking you for plans after the night has essentially ended, and you respond to such nonsense, then you are getting what you deserve. Stop answering those texts and don’t respond to such texts thereby disallowing him to go from texting you right to seeing you. You need the phone call that comes in-between. If you enable him to get away with lazy communication behavior then he will never ever do any heavy lifting in the relationship. He will skip right over the phone calls and the dates and run roughshod over you. Don’t be relegated to a text message relationship.
Don’t invest in flakes
Never invest your time in a man who is exhibiting flaky behavior. If he isn’t invested in you, don’t bother to continue investing in him. You do not need men who won’t put in a phone call to you. If a man is really interested in you he will call you and want to know about your life, rather than text you at 2 AM wanting to know what you are wearing. The only way to avoid a flake is to notice the behavior when you see it, and cut ties before you get more emotionally invested. The more you invest mental energy into a flake the more hurt you will be.
If you notice a guy running roughshod all over you by dribbling out texts and nothing more, you have two choices. You can kick him out of your life quickly and swiftly by letting him know that you aren’t interested in flakes that only text. This will turn him off and drive him away fast as lightning and you may well be doing yourself a favor. It’s like a legless or wingless insect. Just kill it fast by squashing it completely to put it out of its misery.
Alternatively, you can try to use wit and charm to get him to invest more into you. For example, don’t respond much to texts and redirect him by letting him know to call you. For this tactic to work you simple become text unresponsive, letting him know to call you instead. If he texts you whats up, you respond something vacuous and say simply, call me. Make him feel attractive and be responsive, however make it literally impossible for him to have conversations other than a brief exchange on text. Make it impossible for him to schedule dates by text message only. This should encourage him to chase you and put more effort into phone calls. If you try this and it fails, time to cut bait. You tried to turn his behavior around with subtle hints, and if he doesn’t get the hint you just cut bait. He isn’t really interested and that’s why he was only texting you in the first place. After all, you are worth a phone call.
Until you really believe that you are worth a phone call, and set boundaries to jettison men out of your life that don’t treat you right and pick up the phone for you, you will remain single and taken advantage of. A guy that is only texting you is a guy that you should probably be getting rid of. Believe it or not, tooling around single and feeling good about yourself in this life is a way healthier place to be than emotionally invested in a guy who thinks you aren’t worth picking up the phone for. When a new guy in your life tries to get away with text only communication be sure to nip it in the bud. Let him know you like to turn off your phone and that he should call you. Let him know you like phone calls. Don’t respond to late night texts from him. Never make plans to get together with him unless there was a phone call involved. These little things really set a precedent to being treated right. If you give him a chance to come around and he still refuses to, categorize him as unobtainable and let him go before investing more of yourself. Never spend your life waiting on a man no matter how tempting me may appear to be.