He refuses to call me and just sends texts instead

So you meet a great guy online and start to see each-other regularly.  At first, everything is mutual and exciting, lots of phone calls and texts. But pretty soon low and behold you start to notice that he almost never calls anymore.  He only texts.  Rather than taking it as a personal affront, its best to assume that now that he knows you better he is relaxing into the real him.  The real him, may be more a texter not a caller.

Some guys hate talking on the phone these days, and phone call chivalry is quickly dead to them

Some men just get so spoiled on text that very quickly into the relationship, thats the only way they want to communicate.  In fact, you might even find that he texts you and then if you try to call him, he won’t even pick up the phone.  This seems to be game playing at a high level, or a guy that just isen’t very into you.  It may be a warning sign that his interest level is a bit low since in the ideal universe he’d be jumping at the phone to pick up if you called.   But more likely its just that he’s spoiled or lazy and just likes texting better.

Even if you really run across a fanatical guy who would rather be lit on fire than call you, he should still be able to talk on the phone at least sometimes.   The problem is that if he knows you want him to call he might not do it because he doesn’t want to be told what to do.  In so far as the phone calls if he literally refuses to ever call you (and you want him to) then you might want to reconsider your relationship with him.  He may not care enough about you to consider what you want, and not just what he wants to do.

Texts are sneaky and easy.  You can text in front of your buddies, your kids, your relatives, in the bathroom stall at work or at a club.  So when a guy is texting you to be sneaky and private, and you do a 180 and call him, he might consider it an invasion of privacy.  Hey if he wanted to talk to you on the phone, he would have called you, and not the other way around.  He might be with other friends and not in a good place for phone conversations.

Some guys could even stop hanging around you if you try to control communications.  If you insist on phone calls when he just wants to text, its almost a power control thing.  It will make it more likely than ever that he will dig in his heels and refuse to call you.  Men are stubborn and they want to communicate on their terms.

Some men think texting is easier and more convenient than the phone and they have just converted over to text.  He can watch tv, be with friends, be in a very loud environment, be at work, or be slurring drunk, and text you without having you hear everything that is going on in his environment.

If you’ve found yourself stuck with a guy who refuses to call and just send texts instead you shouldn’t make it be the end all be all of your relationship.  Don’t be insecure and take his texting as some sort of personal affront or statement that he doesn’t like you.  He may just be a texting buffoon.  It’s what he does in general and how he treats you over all that should concern you.

Concern yourself more with how he acts in general not just whether he prefers texts over phone calls

If his refusal to call you is coupled with the fact that you rarely hear from him at all (even on text) or that he won’t commit or that he only gets in touch with you for one thing only, then that would be a cause for concern.  Just a texter type of guy shouldn’t flip you out, but it could be indicative of a guy who just isen’t that into you in general.  So, if he refuses to call you and just texts you instead make sure to weigh in on how he treats you in both in person and in general. 

It’s annoying that he never picks up your calls but maybe he thinks he will get dragged down into the quagmire of a long winded conversation.  People text these days so get used to it.  He may not want to pose as your best girlfriend talking on the phone and gossiping.  If he thinks the conversation will never end he will have an aversion to calling you.

If you two get together regularly and he treats you well and seems to care about your life, that is what is important.  Remember, some guys just aren’t talkative.  They will text you whats up for plans and that’s it.  They won’t ask you for the details of your day.  The bottom line is don’t stress out over whether you are with a guy that likes to chit chat on the phone verses one that only likes to text to confirm plans.  It’s what it is like when you are together, what you do together, and how often you get together that is most important.

Regular contact and whether he sees you regularly and brings you around his friends and family are what matter.  If you try to insist on having him call not text or control how he communicates with you then he might resent that.  If you really want him to call you just be less communicative than usual on text.  Only text what you must with no superfluous texts.  Eventually he might call you himself just because he’s not able to communicate with you that easily on text message. 

Men can be weaned off of their text ways if they like you enough to put in the effort to call.  The best way to get him to call is to make it harder for him to get through to you on text.  Text less, and you might hear from him more.  Don’t throw a guy out or get into a text war with a guy just over his texting habits.  Take his whole personality and also how he treats you overall into account and then judge him on his overall actions.   If his refusal to call you is coupled with shoddy treatment of you then you may want to move on.  If on the other hand, his refusal to text is just a quirky part of his personality but he treats you well then lighten up.

He refuses to call me and just sends texts instead


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