He responds to my texts but never initiates

Does the guy you’ve been casually seeing answer your texts but never, or rarely, initiate a text conversation with you?  Okay here is the bottom line.  If he always texts back when you text him but never texts first (or rarely does) is he interested? The answer is NO!  If he never or only rarely initiates communication with you then the relationship is not promising whatsoever.  Even if he is not big on texting communication, if he liked you he would get in touch without you being force to be sticking a text fork in his side. Him never initiating is as close as humanly possible to him never talking to you again. There is only a mere thread of a difference and the thread is only there because you are desperately trying to keep a thread in place. If you stopped texting you would probably never hear from him again. Unless, he is bored out of his skull later or needs a quick ego boost before he jumps back into the dating pool.

Look at the big picture of communication.  If he calls you, then not texting may just mean he isn’t the type that’s into texting.  Most guys though, don’t mind texting and actually like it so chances are that he just isn’t interested in texting you specifically.  If he is interested in getting to know you, talking to you, making plans with you, or keeping you around, then he would touch base at least some of the time. 

Recognize when he drops the ball, rather than kid yourself

Does he get in touch with you in other ways? When you see each other does he make plans to see you again, or does he just fade back to radio silent into you poke him again?  Men that don’t want a relationship will stop initiating with you.  If you keep initiating with them, you are throwing yourself down at their feet and then they start to consider you as a possible booty-call girl, friends with benefit, intermittent hookup, rebound girl, ego boost girl, plan F girl, and so on.  In other words, you aren’t taking the hint that he does not want a relationship. Trust me that if he did, you would be regularly hearing from this person and you would be far away from this website for sure.  It would not be a problem.

If you keep texting and pronging him, you are letting yourself get considered for an abusive relationship where he never lifts a finger, and you just contact him to hookup.  So long as you don’t place demands on him, a guy might keep you around, be civil, and use you when he has literally nothing else to do.  But he knows he doesn’t have to do any work and he has already completely devalued you, boxed you into the sub par category, written you off, and secretly can’t believe what little self-respect you have.  He even convinces himself that you are just knocking on his door for sex maybe.  That way, if he keeps hooking up with you on occasion he takes zero, and I mean zero responsibility for your feelings.  You’re a grown woman, and you’re the one making the call.  He’s made it clear he doesn’t want a relationship, so if you get bent out of shape he can blame it all back on you for contacting him and asking for it, and then disappear.

Experience shows that you might hear from this guy from time to time and all that means is that he is in between girlfriends or having a moment of nostalgia or happens to be coming to your area and so figures he can drop by and get some nookie.  Contacting you once in a blue moon means nothing other than the fact that he is willing to fool around with you on occasion with no strings attached.  So long as you allow it to, such a relation can perpetuate in its go nowhere mode.  As soon as you start to squabble, he will remind you that you aren’t in a relationship and start ignoring you again.  Then you either go away, or accept the crumbs he’s decided he is willing to give so long as you don’t cramp his style.  It never gets better. It actually gets worse, and no, you won’t get him in a relationship.

If you are one of those girls that still like him but he has completely or almost completely stopped contacting you, then the last thing you should do is get intimate or hook up with him.  If you are that obsessed that you just can’t cut him off, the best thing to do is stop all physical relationship aspects of the relation.  This won’t stop you from texting a guy who never texts you.  But it well help you hormonally peel yourself away from the guy.  Once the hormonal strings have simmered down, you will get more and more detached.  Hopefully, that will help you get off the oxytocin drug and stop texting him altogether. 

Guys completely lose respect for girls that keep contacting them after they’ve clearly nexted the girl by slowly reducing communication down to nothing at all but a response if you text him.  If you can’t get it through the head to cut him off, at least stop all physical relations with him until your brain comes back and you can cut him off.  He will still have lost respect but at least you have now removed his ability to use you as an occasional human jump off.

If a guy likes you he is going to conduct some of the relation over technology like texting but he is also going to want to hear your voice, go out in the daylight with you, walk down the street with you, hug and get close to you, and make some plans to get some air with you.  He isn’t just going to go radio silent then respond when you text him.  Don’t read much into the response.  Maybe he is seeing someone else.  Maybe he figures you aren’t hurting anything and in fact boosting his ego by still getting in touch.  Maybe he is open to variety and figures that if you are willing to accept crumbs then even his crumbs are doing you a favor. 

Alpha guys that aren’t interested in you are going to send a clear message that they are not initiating.  They stop contacting you, stop trying to make plans with you, and do a little trick where they just let you turn into the man.  If you do turn into the man and keep pursuing them, then a guy that’s going silent on you will figure he can use you for intermittent intimacy guilt free, since you are offering yourself up and knocking on the door even though he has shut the relationship door.  It was therefore, your idea, not his.  So your fault, not his. If you get hurt, he will take zero responsibility and think hey I didn’t do this, you did it to yourself.

Why would he answer your texts at all if he is not interested

Does it even matter?  If you are asking this question it is really just the wrong question to be asking.  If you know that he is not initiating and not interested, then why do you keep pinging and sending him texts?  He might answer nicely, so long as you aren’t swamping him with messages.  But it means nothing.  He might ignore you if you are swamping him, but it means nothing.  It is all just a bunch of noise which is keeping you distracted from the fact that weeks slip by and he never initiates with you.  There is a high probability that he will answer your texts nicely, but has nevertheless shifted his focus to another woman, or another few women.  Keep in touch all you want, but all it does is have you cling to false hope.  He responded!  Yippee he still like me!  No.  He responded because that’s the human thing to do.  He also never initiates because he is making sure you get the message that he is never contacting you so you can hopefully get the big hint he is dropping. 

He doesn’t want to konk you over the head and tell you that he has someone else and that hey it was fun but you aren’t good enough.  So, he just acts civil if you text him by shooting you back a reply, but never initiates.  If you look at the texts he return sends you, you can also figure stuff out too. You say what’s up and he says workin, or whatever. But does he jump on asking you out? Does he try to make plans? Does he ask you a lot of questions? Probably not. Usually he will send you a pretty flat text in return with literally no suggestion of plans. The conversation therefore just sort of drops like a ball. You say how was your vacation, and he says great back at work busy. Then it falls flat. His responses are going to be short and loop closing. He isn’t going to start asking you for plans. If you ask him for plans, he might consider doing a hit and run, but he isn’t going to bring it up. Basically he has become a total stone. And if you want to roll the stone around he will allow is so long as you don’t move it too far or disturb the rock in any way. He figures pretty soon you will get the radio silent tactic and move on with your life because he has definitely moved on with his.  He might get some freebees and string you along, but once you make demands you will be nexted and ignored completely. You need to move on.

If you are still wondering what to do when he only responds to your texts, wonder no more. Just stop texting him, then you won’t hear from him at all. If you are incapable of stopping texting him, definitely cut off all physical contact with him. That way, your brain will grow back so you can go back to step A and stop texting him. Keeping in touch does you no good and you would actually have a better chance of hearing from him if you just dropped off the face of the Earth. Then he might wonder later on what happened to that chick who wouldn’t get the hint. Oh, I guess she finally got the hint, wonder what she’s been up to. Maybe he thinks you died or something happened to you. The thought passes, then he goes on about his day. If he wanted to contact you he would! he would have! and he will always find a way to no matter how busy he is!

A guy that text back and never texts first is being civil, but not interested


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