Did you meet him through online Internet dating and after a couple of months of dating you’re wondering why he isen’t texting you lately? Wonder no more! Your answer is in these little magic words “Active in the past 24 hours”.
Active in the past 24 hours dilemma
If you are wondering why you’re been dating Mr. Internet and all seemed to be going well, but now he blew you off and doesn’t text like he used to, the answer is the kid in the candy store mentality of the dating sites like Plenty Of Fish, Match, eHarmony and OK Cupid.
With online dating there are so many options that the daters who are actively using them get a kid in the candy store mentality. Once he gets to know you, he may talk himself out of taking you seriously because there are other seemingly better candidates out there for him to explore.
You won’t be alone if you wind up dissatisfied with the online dating game. While it does give you great opportunity to meet people you otherwise would never have come across, the downside is that there are so many choices that you become easily expendable to someone.
If you find your new boyfriend fading into the sunset on you, it could be because of basic incompatibilities that you overlooked but he didn’t. Combine that with the fact that there are so many other options and varieties of women online competing with you, and you have a recipe for the disappearing man.
Here are a few tips for women who want to avoid becoming the woman that is sleeping with somebody only to wake up and find out that his profile has been active in the past 24 hours and by the way, he isen’t texting back like he used to. Some women once they wake up and realize they are with a tricky clown, resort to creating fake profiles and baiting him to see if he’s going for it. Don’t bother. If he’s active in the past 24 hours you know he’s going for it and you don’t have to resort to the extreme of posing as bait.
Expect that he is dating others
Do date with a certain amount of skepticism. After all, you really don’t know what rock this person crawled out from under. Women delude themselves when online thinking that he is only interested in meeting one person, her. Wrong. The correct assumption to make is that if he is online then he is meeting other women from the site right along with you. Women don’t believe that until it’s too late. They’ve gotten intimate and then wake up to the music that he’s still actively using his profile nonetheless. How would you like to wake up to see him wearing the shirt you bought him in a photo he just uploaded to the site.
Don’t mouse around about asking what he’s doing
Some women secretly mouse around on the phone with their cronies and anyone else who will listen about how he is still online and mentally torturing themselves about how active, active really is. I’ll clear that up for you: active is active! If they’ve been acting in the past 24 hours then they are active! Call him out on it. Ask him what he is doing online. And if he gives you any excuse other than (oopsie I’m taking it down) then get rid of him.
Do you think they thought they could keep it secret that they were still actively dating online. Like you wouldn’t notice? If you’re involved and he’s still online you just can’t win. If you pretend you don’t see what is staring you in the face he will happily go on meeting women while taking advantage of you. In fact, he will think you are pretty stupid, respect you less and play you for a fool.
If you confront him on the other hand, he’ll choose. Would he rather pursue new girl a, b, c, d, or get offline for you. Usually, he would rather pursue a, b, c, d, because that is why he is still online. If he wanted something with you he would preserve your integrity and he would have been the one to get offline.
So let him pursue the 2000 available girls in his city. At least you won’t be the side kick or convenient hole he is using until a better opportunity presents itself. At least you won’t get a canker sore from a random women he kissed. At least you won’t be getting body compared to someone else he is seeing undressed.
If he doesn’t willingly take down his profile, don’t get intimate
The safest option is to not get intimate with anyone unless both your profiles are down off the Internet. And don’t demand that they come down either. Just don’t get intimate until he is off the dating site. He’ll get the picture soon enough. If you don’t put out and he leaves, then you should be happy because he wasn’t really all that interested if he didn’t take the time to get to know you.
If he is active online, so should you be
If he is active online still what should you do and how should you react? You should react by re-activating your own profile and continuing to meet people. You should react by not getting physically involved with him. You should react by assuming you are 100% single since there’s been no discussion of commitment to a relationship. Who wants a boyfriend who really isen’t a boyfriend anyways? Think about that.
By the way, deluding yourself that a relationship is happening just because you want it to (but not because he’s truly all in with you and said as much) is a big mistake. Men know that women fall for this trick and they will try to get their sexual hooks in you for the honeymoon phase if they possibly can before you figure them out.
Don’t let him lead you to believe there will perhaps be something more down the road if you perform for him while he voraciously writes more women that he’s interested in meeting them. Nothing will be down the road but heartache for you if you fall for this trick. If you’re seeing him while he’s seeing others, there is zero hope for the future with this guy.
A normal guy knows what to do and if he likes you a lot he will get offline to get to know you better. Don’t fall for the dangling carrot on the stick trick and hang in there while he grass is greener hunts because as soon as he has a better option he will run roughshod on you.
Simply put, take him down to the friend level while he runs in the online candy store. Maybe he will notice and open his eyes that you aren’t getting physical because he’s acting like he’s in a dating candy store and you don’t want to be a free sample for him. Try to put him into the friend zone until he offers you a little something more than flirtation and a couple of texts squeezed in between all his emailing to other girls.
If its too late and you already fell for the guy that is still online, cut him off
There is a very direct link between a guy that won’t text back when he used to text back, and his being active in the last 24 hours. Seriously, he is busy, busy writing 20 emails a day to women who are not you. If you are already intimate with him, it’s a recipe for disaster to hang in there. Unless, of course, you want to be bitter and full of hate and cringe every time he appears “online” and active. One last tip, never believe he’s just on there checking for friends or any other crazy story about his being on there.
Online and active, is online and active. If he is online and active, he is looking at women, women are looking at him, he is communicating with women, women are communicating with him. He is going on dates to meet new women, and women are going on dates to meet him.
Don’t sugar coat what it means if he has been active in the past 24 hours. It means that he is not committed to you, not exclusive about you, not serious about you, is open to meeting women who clearly are not you. The sooner you understand that, the better off you’ll be in the online dating world. You’re pretty much in a very casual relationship, a very early relationship, or a total ongoing non-relationship unless and until you both get offline to be together.
Don’t hang around and get intimate with a guy that is hanging around you while hanging around on a dating web site! Cut him off instead. If a relationship is taking off then it isen’t okay to be continuing on a dating site. Have an opt out date in your head. If he isen’t off that thing by your opt out date, he gets cut off without anesthesia. Be stern about your boundaries.
Never compromise your boundaries
Be forewarned that boundaries to men are like catnip is to cats. When presented with a boundary his challenge will be to break down the boundary. Don’t let him. Don’t let him bamboozle you into thinking he’s on a dating site without really being up to anything. HE IS ON A DATIG SITE. DON’T GET INTIMATE. IF YOU ALREADY ARE INTIMATE, STOP BEFORE YOU GET EVEN MORE BONDED. If you want a man to respect you then don’t be a weakling that accepts relationship crumbs. Enough said.
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