How 500 text messages wrecked a promising relationship

After being intimate with her she sent me 500 texts over a matter of weeks. The latter texts were apologizing for the first few hundred yet that didn’t matter. I figured why pursue a relationship with a woman that couldn’t calm down. I blew her off and went back online changing my dating headline to Please don’t boil my bunny

This story about 500 text messages that wrecked a promising relationship was told to me recently.  The scenario went like this.  Man meets woman on the Internet and likes her.  They text one another, then talk on the phone with one another, then arrange to meet one another for a date. 

So the man drives about 45 minutes to meet her.  They get together for drinks and appetizers and the meetup goes great.  They arrange to see one another again and the man goes on his merry way home.  He enjoying her company.  After about 15 minutes into his drive home he comes into an accident on the road which blocked the passage through to his neighborhood.  Stuck, he pulls off the road and calls the girl back on his cell to chat and bemoan his fate on the drive home.

What does the girl do?  Invites him back to her place.  Stranded, the man thinks that’s a good plan and heads back to her house after she gives him directions.  Seeing that the date has now progressed into her house (a big no-no for first dates) you can imagine what happened.  They were intimate and had a great time.  He wound up spending the night and heading home the next morning.

Up until this point, not even the fact that they were intimate right away wrecked it for him.  He know that the second meeting was happenstance because he got stuck in a traffic nightmare.  It’s not like she invited him home initially it was only after he had no way to get back to his place that night.  Things just happened that way pretty much out of the blue.  He liked this girl and fully intended on hanging out with her again.

What happened next?  She texted him 500 times

Soon after their soiree the girl started to slowly freak out over what happened.  She realized, hey I really, really like this guy.  She started to question whether inviting him back to her house after just meeting him was a good idea.  She feared she had potentially wrecked things but wasn’t sure.  Feeling increasingly insecure she started to text him.  She texted him a lot.  After dozens of texts he became concerned.  Deep down he realized that she must have felt insecure after their intimacy as to what was going to happen.  But the fact of the matter was that he was going to call her again (just not the next day seeing as he’s been with her all night) so why was she prematurely flipping out and texting him so much?  Her needy grasping at him make him feel uncomfortable and her behavior became concerning to him.

He adopted the strategy of just ignoring her, figuring that she would soon calm down if he just stopped responding to her text messages.  What happened after that?  She didn’t calm down.  She got more and more excited.  Finally after a few weeks it had gotten to the point that he had received 500 texts from this woman that he hadn’t bothered to return.

He admitted that the latter texts were mainly her apologizing for the first few hundred texts.  She explained herself that this had happened to her before, that she had gotten incredibly insecure and paranoid at the outset of a promising relationship.  While he understood that she was attempting to make it right, it was too little too late in his mind.

What he thought about the 500 texts

His thinking was that if she was going to text 500 times and show potential for fatal attraction behavior, that she was not worth getting involved with.  Even though he liked her and enjoyed the time he spent, her texts told him that she would mean trouble.  Since he had very little emotional investment in her, it was easier for him to say next.  Next.  On to someone new that did not show signs of emotional instability.  Basically a woman that he actually liked had blown her chances with him by behaving erradically.

What woman can learn from this dating fauxpas

Now this man was admittedly a handsome guy with options.  The girl probably should not have invited him back to her place much less been intimate with him yet that was not what broke the potential relationship.  He would have called her.  What broke it was her unstable excessive texting.  A man with options is not going to take any risks on a potential bunny boiler. 

The man never talked to her again and went back online, changing his internet dating profile headline moniker to “Please don’t boil my Bunny”.    The moral to the story is that you should not text him 500 times.  The minute a man senses instability and insecurity he will run for the hills.  The book Why Men Marry B-itches explains what to do.  After you are intimate, act like nothing happened. 

The minute you make a big text hoopla over being intimate or over anything for that matter is the minute you hand the relationship reins over to the man.  It’s the fastest way to wreck a potential relationship.  All you need to do is ruin one relationship by over texting him too soon or too much and you will learn your lesson not to ever do that again.  Conversely, if you really want to get rid of a guy just text 500 times and he’ll be gone out of your life, no problem.


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