How often to text him or her without seeming desperate

Do you have a new girl who seems interested in you?  This article gives suggestions about how often to text her in order to keep it that way.  If you have had problems in the past texting a girl who was interested but she lost interest with all the texting, don’t let that mistake happen again.  You need text her without coming across as desperate.  Texting too much can be a turn off to a girl, especially if she is luke warm about liking you.

Why texting less is best. Don’t act needy or desperate

Girls act like they want a guy who is attentive and texts them on a daily basis, but in reality, it is that one guy that she barely gets a precious text from who attracts her the most.  When she can’t control a guy and does not know what he is up to all the time it creates mystery and intrigue.  It gives this aura of his being out of her league and this desire to have makes her turned on.

In order to create that aura of unattainability, you need to text less than you normally would like to.  This will undoubtedly help you come across as non-needy, and not-desperate.  Texting less has an added benefit too because one you get to know her, you are not going to want to be Siamese twin joined at the hip texting her forever.  You won’t have to go through that phase of putting her on a text diet after she grows to expect you to waste hours a day texting her since you have in the past.

The good thing about texting less is that if in fact she likes you, those texts are going to be precious pellets of affection.  You want a girl to be jumping and excited when you text because she doesn’t know what you are up to.  You don’t want a girl thinking, oh no its just him.  Girls can get spoiled by you texting her and then take you for granted.  Meanwhile, she is waiting for the one text from Mr. hot.

How often should I text her up without seeming desperate

You should text her maybe once every few days, if that.  Texting every day is a chore and leaves little to the imagination.  It’s better to text more sporadically and encourage her to text you.  Don’t be consistent about texting her whatsoever.  Leave some mystery and don’t text her at all when you have other things to do.  If you are dating and blow her off all weekend trust me you will be on her mind big-time because she wonders what you are doing and if you are seeing anyone.  She doesn’t like that idea, but still, you are officially on her mind.

Instead of texting her once or twice a day, or every other day, or every few days, text her every once in a random while.  Go a week without texting, even a few weeks if she does not text you.  Text her when you have a goal in mind, which is more masculine.  For example, if you have a reason to text her then do it.  It can get really annoying if you just text her to say hi and have nothing much to say. This is sort of feminine and you should let her gossip with her girlfriends rather than you. 

Remember, you are the prize and she should be happy as a clam when she gets a text message from you.  In order to create that affect you can’t text her all the time like a constant drum beat. Drop her, and do your own thing as often as possible.  You might wonder why men who date several women get all the women. One of the reasons is that they are so busy juggling their women what with dating, calling, and rotating, that they come across as aloof and unobtainable.  It gives the girls the impression they are dealing with an unobtainable man with options. That makes her want to have him over all other girls even more.  Every girl wants to win a sought after man for herself.

To keep her on her toes, text her without any specific pattern or regularity.  Text her when you have a reason to.  And when in doubt, don’t text her at all.

Feel out her interest level so you don’t come across as clingy or desperate

A key component of how often the two of you text each other has to do with her interest level in you.  Some of this is just innate.  If she is super-duper into you, then you can text her as much or as little as you want and she will still be super-duper into you.  If she is not interested at all, then there is no amount of texting or not texting that is going to help you.  If she isn’t interested at all, texting won’t make a difference. 

Be honest with yourself in assessing her interest level.  Is she completely interested and initiating texts making it obvious she likes you? If so, then have confidence she is into you and text at a natural pace.  Let her text at least half the time and be spontaneous about getting back to her.  If you are busy make her wait, if you are bored, respond.  If she texts you something flirtatious that you like, give her a reward and text her back on it.  She will learn from positive feedback.

If she really doesn’t seem interested, then bugging her with texts won’t help.  What you should do is blow her off and pursue other people instead.  Once you are long gone she might start to wonder about you and initiate contact.  In that case, you can start texting her.  But if she has shown disinterest, you should leave things up to her.  If she wants to come chase you down after being indifferent then let her.  But if you don’t hear from her, just blow her off.

Randomize your texts and keep them wanting more

Now the middle of the road case is the most delicate.  This is somewhere between she is definitely into me and she could care less that I exist.  Here is where your goal is to increase her interest level.  The way to do this is text less often, and text randomly.  It builds up her thought processes and when you go absent she will go into withdrawal because you have stopped paying attention. 

Respond right away to a flirtatious sexy text and don’t respond at all or until much, much later if at all, to a useless text. Teach her that you will not always be responding, so she better make it good if she wants to hear back. If she is floundering thinking why hasn’t he text me back yet, you are probably giving her the right text dosage.

This gray area can be handled by never acting desperate or needy.  If you need to keep yourself busy or date other women then do so.  That way she will jump at the opportunity to text you, respond to you, or go out with you.  You need to be like a train. If you stop and she fails to get on, she might have to wait a good long while to catch that train again.  If she lags on her responses and is iffy about getting together, make her wait a good long time before giving her the opportunity to mess you around.  In the meantime, get busy hanging out with cool people and finding awesome places to go.

Having a life, helps.  If a girl is initiating with you, highly responsive, and jumping at the opportunities you give her to hang out with you, then you are texting her at the right pace.  If she is blowing you off, text her less.  If she is stalking you, text her less.  Most of the time of you are asking how often to text him or her, you should be texting them … less.  Randomize your texts and never get into constant texts because you will live to regret the responsibility.  Skip days to avoid becoming her daily ego boost or text scratching post.  Girls and boys alike are not turned on by clingy people.

Randomize your text messaging habits to keep her on her toes


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