How texting has radically changed the dating vibe

When it comes to asking a woman out these days, texting even beats out calling them in terms of popularity.  Some men even think that asking a girl out to simply hang out with them is easier to do than asking for a formal one-on-one date.  For example, a man might feel more comfortable asking a girl to come out and meet up with a group of people he is with if she wants to, as opposed to asking her for dinner and a drink alone.  Some men say its more casual, easy and non-threatening to do this. 

Texting has completely changed the American dating culture.  Gone is the gold standard of dating involving a live phone call followed by the date in person.  The cellphone and the ability to text rather than call has swiftly and radically changed the way people interact, meet and even whether they move forward into a relationship.  It’s a new type of mobile etiquette and it definitely has its good points and … bad points.

The bad

There are so many bad points about texting.  They are even writing a book about how Real Men Don’t Text!  For one thing, text communications can blur the lines between a dating relationship and a so-called friends with benefits or hook-up relationship.  This is because casual relationships that mainly focus on sexual relations also conduct themselves on text.  The lines blur and a guy that might really be interested in you starts to look like someone just using you because you can barely tell the difference between a guy that just likes to text, and a guy that is just looking for some action.

There is a certain rudeness that comes along with texting as well.  People look at their phone during dates, check their messages, hide their phones, and even reply to text messages in the middle of a date.  USA Today posted a survey that said 38% of people 21-26 used texts to plan dates, 36% of people 27-34 used texts to plan dates, 30% of people 35-42 use texts to plan dates and 29% of people 43-50 used texts to plan dates.  And, this number might rise!

The bad news is mainly for women.  For men, texting is a convenient medium to communicate and to accomplish goals like schedule a get together.  For women, they lose that age-old phone call etiquette and that is just sad.  Hearing someone’s voice on the phone is still a key element for a relationship, no matter what people may say.  It also is soothing comfort to women to at least get regular phone calls from someone she is dating.

Sadly, people are increasingly relying on the safety net of text for initial contacts as well as keeping in touch as the relationship develops.  It can lead to a lot of confusion for women as she may not glean the proper expectations for romance out of a text communication relation.  Is he stringing her along with texts or does he really like her?  She may not know how serious he really is about her and this can lead to resentments and disappointment.  Women love to get phone calls, no matter what anyone says.  Texts are good, but occasional phone calls are even better.

The good

The good news is that text opens up a whole new way to flirt with one another and to keep in touch!  Sending fun pictures or flirty texts is actually pretty entertaining and its a fast, discreet way to show someone you care about them and that they are on your mind.  Once you get into texting you get addicted and getting and sending texts becomes a whole world of fun unto itself.

Because texting back and forth becomes a sort of ongoing conversation it really does make it easy to flirt.  Of course you aren’t delivering a ton of emotion with texts but you are interacting consistently and getting more comfortable with one another by staying in such easy touch with one another.   Getting a text from someone you like is always a great feeling.

Many men not only like the flirting element of text, the like the convenience aspect.  A full one-third of men and even women believe that it is less intimidating to ask for a date via text verses via a phone call.  So this makes it easier to ask somebody out and face a possible rejection via a simple text than verses via a phone call.  For this reason, men become heavy users of the smart phone especially if they are dating several times a month.

The upshot of texting

Texting is relied on more and more for dating, and can be a fun way to flirt and keep in touch with someone you like.  But the problem is that text really does not afford the same level of intimacy as the voice does making relationships easier to misinterpret, sever and end quickly. 

For men and women, being able to disappear on a partner or send a text that they aren’t interested in a person anymore, or just ignoring a text, is an easy out of a relationship.  You invest less time with texts and have an easy way out of things don’t click.  It keeps the relationship casual for longer, which some men like as they want to prolong the honeymoon phase before they get hit up for a commitment.  That can be convenient for the person that wants something casual or that wants out, yet hurtful for the person who gets blown off or dumped.

No matter what you think of the rise of text in the world of dating, it must be adjusted to.  The average person might receive 750 texts month and make only around 165 calls as compared to that, stated a Nielson survey of cell phone users. Because texting is rife with miscommunication, it may be helpful to focus on other facets of the relationship than just does he text verses does he call.

Look for telltale signs of interest

It can be difficult to glean whether someone is texting you just to flirt or get some side action verses whether someone is texting you because they want to develop a relationship and really care about you.  To cut through to the chase, you must discern other signs that tell you how interested in you someone is. Don’t rely on texting patterns or frequency to discern what someone’s intentions with you are.

For instance, focus on how much quality time you really spend together and how soon after a date the other person follows up asking for another. Face-to-face contact and how much and how often you are having it, as well as followup after dates, can tell you way more about the relationship potential than his or her text patterns. Since it is difficult to gage a persons interest level in you just based on superficial texts, you need to look at more tried and true indications of affection in order to sort out how interested in you someone really is.

If the person wants to spend time with you, introduces you to friends, goes out with you do fun things and even run mundane errands, and acts interested in your life, then it is a good indication that things are on track.

Texting and Dating


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