How to get him back should I text message him?

Have you suffered a serious heartbreak and broken up or been broken up with?  If your boyfriend left you then you might be down in the dumps.  Chasing a man is never a good idea however if you really love him then asking for a second chance is worth it.  It may or may not work but there is nothing wrong with trying to give love a second change.  If he break up with you or vice-verse there are certain steps to making up with him that preserve your dignity.  Here are a few tips for how to get him to makeup with you.

No drama

Ex boyfriends hate drama.  Half the time breakups are caused by a dramatic quarrel between lovers.  If you want to make up with him you need to avoid the drama at all costs.  If you engaged in a text message war you are going to have to go no contact for a while and let the arguing dissipate.  Making up with him when he is cooled down is easier.  Remember, guys get mad first and hurt later.  Even if he is an alpha male that can move on or has moved on, he might miss you some.

The best way to avoid drama is to leave him alone for a little while.  Get some space between the breakup and when you approach him to makeup.  Give it a few weeks if you can.    The number one choice for making up is to see him in person to talk by coming across him live, or to talk to him on the phone.  If you two are not on speaking terms and he is not communicating with you then sending him a text message would be the last option you would have.  At least with text message he can’t ignore the call.  He will get the message so make sure you don’t blow it.

No begging

If your only avenue for talking to him is by written work because he is ignoring you then make sure not to beg or bother him.  Don’t let your emotions run your behavior.  If you get overly emotional this will totally hinder your chances.  Becoming a wet noodle or a wreck will merely feed into his ego and convince him that he did the right thing.

The way to make up is gently and nicely.  Don’t make any grand or dramatic messages and don’t send him dozens of messages.  A few messages with space in between them will have more effect than a deluge of messages.  Don’t be surprised if he ignores a quick text because he may be trying to adhere to the breakup decision or he may still be mad.

A simple text telling him how important he is to you, or that you miss him, or that you are sorry, is all you really need.  He’ll get the message loud and clear.  It will soften his armor and you might hear back from him eventually.  Don’t expect an immediate response and don’t stumble back into a text ditch with him and start fighting.  Whatever you do don’t backslide back into the fight you were in or start arguing about the breakup.  If your text gets ignored or he bites back, just back off.   You can always give it another shot in a couple of weeks time.


Your chances of getting him back will increase if you are willing to change.  If you give yourself some time to evaluate your bad habits and acknowledge them then you might be able to turn things around by letting him know.  Let him know what your fault in it was.  Let him know you understand why you let him down or made him so upset that he broke up.

Men often breakup because they’ve told you something they don’t like over and over and over and you don’t listen.  For example, let’s say you are argumentative and he likes to brood.  If you force him into arguing when he wants to brood he might resent it.  He’ll think drama.  Let’s say he’s total you several times to back off and you always, always get aggresive.  This comes down to not listening to his needs. 

Even if he caused the fight and it was all his fault, you didn’t back off.  That’s how men are.  They might be the source of why you are upset yet if you act in a way that he’s said he doesn’t like before he might break up with you.  It become not about the fight which may have been his fault.  It becomes about how you act.

Letting him know that you that you let him down on this behavior can help.  But even an apology may fall on deaf ears if you’ve disappointed him like this time and time again.  Acknowledge the behavior he hates and offer to change, work on changing or tell him you want to change.  Being willing to change will soften his heart as he knows you’re at least listening to his needs.

Be forewarned that if a guy takes you back because you’ve said sorry and offered to change you will be on thin ice with him.  Offering to change and actually changing are two completely different things.  The odds are sky high that you won’t actually be able to stick to the change and you’ll backslide into the same fight and a more serious and permanent breakup.  Fool him once or twice but not three times. 

Eventually he will figure out if you’re all talk and not capable of really changing.  Therefore, if he takes you back on a promise to change do everything you can to change.  You may even need to get counseling or help to keep a change permanent.  Another thing is that you can force yourself to change yet you may be muzzling your needs in doing so.  Sometimes the inability to change means there is an underlying need that you aren’t having met.  You can try to behave right but your underlying issue might rise through the forced face of the change.

Being willing to change is a great way to make up but actually sticking to the change is a tough ride.  If you make up based on changing you need to stick to the change otherwise you’ll breakup again for the same reasons later on.

Be vulnerable

Everyone says be strong and walk a way like you don’t need him at all.  Not needing him can create a vacuum in him that makes him miss you but pretending not to need him also boils down to game playing.  That’s not really necessary.  You do have to act like an adult and respect what he says.  If he says move on you need to try to do that.  But going no contact is not always about being strong and proving you don’t need him.  It’s also about respecting what he wants.  If he is upset and says stay away and you don’t its a form of disrespect.  Give him plenty of space if thats what he’s demanding.

It doesn’t matter if you are strong or not what matters is your ability to control your emotions and your behavior.  It’s being able to demonstrate that if he says he doesn’t want to see or hear from you that you can adhere to his wishes.  Give him plenty of space and several week times.  When you do approach make it delicate and sweet.  Being vulnerable and letting him know how much he means to you is fine.  Just do it gently and don’t badger him.  Men loathe being badgered.  Texting him 20 times daily that you want to make up is badgering and he will resent it.  Waiting a couple of week and sending one text is being sweet and respecting his space.

Breakups are so hard!  If you really love him it can be worth it to try and get him back.  Don’t do drama or begging.  Figure out what behaviors he left you over and work on changing.  Devise a plan to stick to the change too if he takes you back.  Think of no contact as not being strong but as respecting his desire not to hear from you.  Wait a while and contact him gently.  Don’t mind it if you appear to be vulnerable. 

Be sweet not and an emotional basket case.  Heartache sucks and if you think he really is right for you then it is definitely worth fighting for him.  If your life is better with him then let some time pass and just let him know it.  You’re already broken up so the worst that can happen is that he won’t want to get back together.  At least you tried to fight for him and can move on with a clean conscience at that point.


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