How to handle when your ex is sending you mixed messages

Has your ex broken up with you but now all of a sudden you are getting mixed messages from them?  Days, weeks, months and even years after a breakup you might find your ex that never wanted to speak to you again suddenly sending you a text message or acting responsive to yours.

Understanding what happened with your ex and what they want by examining his (or her) words, actions and behaviors is key.  The most important thing is that if your ex chose to break up and not try to work things out this is a very strong statement.  Don’t ignore how strong of a statement this is against your relationship with him.  He (or she) may be acting wish washy and may have moments of mixed signals but do not doubt that they are living just fine with the breakup.

If you get statements like I will always love you, or I will always like you, I would not read much into them.  That sounds nostalgic and all but it’s a far cry from him saying what he would need to say which is that he wants to get back together with you and work on things.  Mixed messages and the occasional whiny text don’t mean squat from an ex.  All it means is that they are having a lonely moment in their single life and that’s about it.

How to handle mixed signals

Mixed signals are really useless when coming from an ex.  They rarely signify anything positive. It is mostly drivel and them just feeling unsure about the breakup or more likely than that, it is just them feeling a lonely moment in time.  Don’t let an ex keep you emotionally hooked in by their game of cat and mouse where they need an ego stroke and come back and tell you that there is hope or that they miss you.  All they are doing is keeping you from moving on while they take their own sweet time looking for other options.

If you want to get back to your ex then the worst thing you can do is to cow-tow to their string along drivel.  Why should they get back together with you if they can successfully drivel with you stringing you along while they explore other dating options and try to figure out what they want to do?  You need to seize back your power and reverse this situation.  Don’t allow them to engage in game-playing.  The only way to stop the game playing is to stop it yourself and refuse to allow it to happen.  Put a stop to their contact.

Put a stop to the mixed messages

The longer you string yourself along with your ex allowing them to drivel about how they still care while you watch them date someone new and refuse to get back together with you, the longer you will prolong your pain.  Who cares if they still proclaim to have feelings for you.  If they are not with you and do not want to be with you 100% they are totally wasting your time.  Don’t engage in the calls, texts or emails with them.  Don’t listen to them wretch stuff out to you while they in reality balk at getting back together with you.

Forget about allowing your ex to send you mixed messages.  Basically you need to view this as the after puke.  It’s dry heaving at best.  Don’t let them send texts with a bunch of useless words.  Actions speak louder than words.  If your ex is really interested, they will get off their butt and try to work things out with you.  And trust me, that will not happen while you are allowing the drivel to continue.  It will not happen from a text message.  You should walk away and make it clear you won’t live in no-mans land with them.  Only then will they get serious about doing what it takes to stop or reverse the breakup.

Breakups can be reversed but that reversal usually happens when you are able to walk away from the relationship and radically reject the smoldering mixed messages.  If your ex wants to not be with you but at the same time continue to drivel at you from a distance you need to put a stop to that.  Ignore the drivel and try to get your life together on your own. 

Relationships that are in the drivel stage are usually over, but hope lingers.  Lower your expectations about getting back together and you will be better off.  Let your ex know in no uncertain terms that drivel means nothing to you.  If they want to try and get back together then they need to make a genuine effort to be with you.  Otherwise, they can go drivel elsewhere. 

Why would you want to go from being in a relationship to being in a dwindling after relationship where they are taking their chances in life without you.  That’s a loud statement they are sending, far louder than the drivel.  You don’t need them to drivel in from their life that now does not include you.  If you can hold your head high and go your own way, it will increase the chance that your ex will quit sending you mixed messages and start sending you real ones.


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