Over texting your boyfriend is a major way that you might be sabotaging your relationship. If you have a problem texting your boyfriend too much and he has told you he doesn’t like it, you may just be pushing love away from yourself. You want to help your boyfriend to fall in love with you and have him not resist it. Texting too much can create resistence in a man, which is exactly what you do not want. In this article we go through a few ways that texting can sabotage your relationship with him.
Texting too much represent Obsessive Thoughts
More than anything else, constant texting represents obsessive thinking and that is a major turn off for men. If you text him all the time its like you are talking louder, stronger, and trying to drive a message home to him that he should like you more and be more wrapped up into your emotional vacuum. It won’t work. He won’t want to be bludgeoned over the head with your heavy handed texting. It’s like shoving yourself in his face over and over. Men are totally turned off by obsessive thinking and you have to recognize that obsessing texting is really a manifestation of obsessive thinking. Its just your thoughts being spewed out and they are coming to him via text message. He will hate it.
Instead of over powering your man with texts because you have some fear that he doesn’t like you enough or is leaving, you have to come to same place of vulnerability. You could be texting him out of relationship fears and expecting him to do something to fix it. It’s like acting out and you need to stop. You need to come from a place of vulnerability instead. Stop acting out and instead work on yourself and let him come around. Change yourself from being over bearing to him to being more still and receptive when he comes to you. You can do this by stopping the texting and busying yourself with other aspects of your life. When he does come around, be appreciative. You should see improvements in your relationship if you stop being over bearing and pushy and start being more vulnerable and receptive to him when he makes his moves.
Convincing and blame placing with Texts is counter-productive
You could be sabotaging your relationship by placing alot of blame on him and not taking more responsibility for the role you are playing in your relationship going down hill. If you want something to improve between you and him, its not going to happen by attacking him and blaming him and his lack of contact on your current relationship demise. You have to take responsibility for your own pushiness getting in the way of things. If you feel like your relationship is off you might find yourself picking fights and attacking him out of fear and anger. That really won’t help you in the long run. It is better to silence yourself and think about what is going wrong in the relationship. Then when the time is appropriate you can express to him that you feel insecure rather than blaming him for it.
One of the things that happens when you fight over a series of text messages with your boyfriend is that you are presenting some weird law suit like case to him and wanting to push him into seeing your point of view. More than likely, these arguments are happening on text message because he likely would not even accept a phone call from you. So your texts are this underhanded sock in the face where you are forcing him to hear what you have to say even though he likely does not want to be bitched out.
Arguments on text are blaming him for something, wanting him to see it your way, trying to convince him to like you more, text you more, initiate contact more, whatever it is that you are wanting and demanding more of. You’d be trying to convince him that he is wrong about something, or trying to somehow proove that he should like you more.
Its likely that all of your arguments on text message have a sabotaging effect on your relationship with him. Stop texting and thereby stop sabotaging your relationship with all of this negative energy. Trying to convince him of something over and over and trying to inflict yourself into his head every few hours is going to hurt you more than help you. He is going to feel pursued and pressured and he will want to get away from you.
Victimization and feeling sorry for yourself is unbecoming
If your relationship isen’t going as planned and you are fighting over text message, it might lead to really bad things. For example, you could find that he presets your calls to roll over right to voice mail. He’ll never pick up the phone. If you continue to push him on text he might even block your number.
If he does take steps to block you or if he threatens to block you, it likely means you pushed him way too hard on matters. Once you start recieving threats from him that he might end the relationship, you could get really depressed about it. This, only makes matters worse. You might start to shut down, hide your emotions, and bottle up your fear of his potentially leaving you. It might be fear that you are having but it has the potential to bottle up. Before you know it, your frustration might implode in a series of very angry or emotionally pathetic text messages to him.
Don’t become a self fulfilling prophecy to yourself. If your boyfriend warns you that your text is intrusive and he might leave, don’t bottle yourself up so much that you blow a text gasket is a fit of burbling begging, crying or hurt anger. It’s not worth it and you will for sure be sabotaging your relationships and it will be very hard to correct the damage you will cause. Instead just suck it up and try to look at yourself. You might have to seriously change your own behavior in order to set the dynamic of a relationship onto a totally different and more positive course.
Work on yourself, change your bad texting dynamcic, and act a new way
If you want to quit sabotaging your relationship with over texting him, then you have to stop. Texting is a major way that you relay negative behaviors to him. Texting too much is akin to obsessing too much and will only serve to drive him away. Placing blame and arguing on texts will only make a man feel pressured and result in him distancing himself. Finally, victimization of yourself by feeling pathetic or depressed and writing him pathetic begging to see him texts will make him not want to spend time with you.
Remember to accept your part in over texting him. Stop obsessing, blaming and vitimizating yourself and stop relaying those negative behaviors to him via text messaging. Your compulsive textual-vomits of your moment to moment feelings are only going to make him resist you. You have to move out of your texting comfort zone and act a new way which is not so needy and intrusive. You’d be amazed but changing a negative dynamic in your relationship such as one of excessive texting can really help bring him closer in the long run.
Even if you have to move out of your emotional comfort zone and try something new which is to not depend on constant communication, it might be well worth the self control effort it takes. You want to bring him closer and texting is not working, right? Stop texting him, and work on your self control. Work on changing yourself to being more inviting than over bearing, and you will be better able to recieve the love that you want from him.