Well, I am just not that into her but she keeps texting me so maybe I will just see her on occasion, like when I have a free night. I’ll keep pursuing other women and if she wants to stick around under those parameters then its up to her. It won’t be my fault if she gets hurt.
There are several dynamics that happen with texting in relationships where one person has essentially left, and the other person is texting after them. If you are texting after someone that has already bailed out on a real relationship with you, there is little hope. These dating lopsided situations generally don’t turn out well. Continuing to text prolongs the futile chase. In this article we will go over two negative consequences of chasing after the person by sending texts when they rarely if ever even respond. One outcome of this scenario is that you become an ego boost for them. Another is that you are in an imaginary relationship that you want but that no longer exists. The relationship may never have existed. Unfortunately for you, you keep hold out hope by continued texting. Texting in a relationship that is over tends to continue way longer. This is usually because you don’t want to face reality that its over.
How you become an ego boost by initiating texts all the time
When you are the one that always texst somebody they quickly understand that you like them a lot. Trust me that they know. They know you want to text them and feel the need to. If their feelings for you are not quite as strong, it is an instant recipe for you to become taken for granted. In fact, continuing to pursue encourages someone to take advantage of you. They’d probably be just fine with you disappearing and fading away completely. They have other things going on in their lives, they clearly don’t share the same interest level that you have, and they figure out that if they just stop texting you completely it will only be a matter of time before they hear from you. Why should they even bother texting you at that point. There is no reason to because they know perfectly well that they will hear from you. You are officially free and available. Congratulations on showing them that they needn’t lift a finger for you. A man’s interest in the chase is all but gone when you take up the job of pursuing him. If you chase him, it should come as no surprise if he slots you in as a backup girl. He’ll feel like a stud, and treat you as a dating option rather than a priority, and you’ll be the one allowing it.
Texting him too much will produce a boyfriend who can basically sit on his hands. He goes about his life and meeting other people because he just isn’t interested in having more with you. You’ve taken away his ability to chase you. Texting him and keeping in touch with him on text won’t change his mind either. If you keep texting him, bot not so much that he considers you a stalker or psyco ex girlfriend that he has to block, he ponders what to do about it. Guess what, what he can do about it is explore the concept of having his cake and eating it too. As long as you don’t get on his nerves he will keep you around. He will sleep with you if he feels the attraction or desire and ignore you when he has other stuff going on. Essentially, by continuing to text message a person who has bailed you literally encourage them to contemplate all sorts of messed up sub and non relationships with you. The perfect way to become a no strings attached, occasional girl friend, is to continue to pursue a guy who only mildly likes. You do not want this. Therefore, never persist in chasing after a boy who has already mentally moved on.
You become a person that is in an imaginary relationship
This is the hardest part of it. You figure out this person doesn’t want to be with you. But you try to play it cool and keep in touch and not bother him too much. Congrats you have entered the no-mans dating land of a non relationship. The reason he is not blocking you is that you aren’t acting crazy. That’s good because you don’t get in trouble with the law for harassing and stalking him. You don’t get blocked out of his life. That’s bad because you delude yourself into thinking that keeping in touch will get you somewhere. It won’t. He is going to do whatever he is going to do. Texting him does not make him be more into you or want to be with you because he already made a decision on that. So you sit around and try to make up cute and funny and interesting texts to send him all day long. And you spend hours twirling in your mind what texts you can send at what frequency to get him back into you.
Occasionally you’ll hear from him when he’s bored and then you’ll jump on that little text crumb and think that you are actually getting somewhere. Guess what you are getting nowhere. You just aren’t bugging him and he’s willing to throw you a little bone while boosting his ego that chicks are beeping his phone all the time because he’s the man. This can go on for months where you politic around on texts and exhaust tons of mental energy torturing your friends with hypotheticals until they hate you. I have news. It is a non relationship. You my friend, are in a relationship that does not exist and probably never will exist. If you stopped texting, the shell of a relationship wouldn’t even exist and you would never even hear from this person at all. So what should you do?
Stop texting in order to recognize that there is nothing there, get over it
The only viable solution to this non-relationship is to stop texting them. You probably are scared to stop texting because you’ve created an imaginary relationship that doesn’t exist and when you stop texting you’ll have to face it that this person is not and will not be with you. You are on your own. They so don’t care about you that it would probably take them a few months to miss your texts. It’s hard but you just have to stop texting a dead end. You have to because it will force you to face that there is literally no relationship there at all. You likely won’t hear from the person. So you have to stop text chasing him as step one. Once you stop texting, you go to step 2 which is to fully realize that you are in a non relationship. You slowly go back and know. All we were doing is texting, I only saw him once every few weeks or months, there were never dates and he never called me. And if I don’t text him, I don’t hear from him at all. And his texts and hooking up with me meant nothing. I let myself become and occasional f–k and ego stroke for a guy thats off doing god knows what.
If you are able to stop texting him for long enough all the processing that needs to go on in your head to accept reality will slowly happen I promise. You won’t be able to cover it up by making a few texts he sent late at night into something more than it was. Cuz what it was, was a guy that wasn’t even willing to pick up the phone and call you. You process all that, and then you are officially making progress in getting out of your text addiction for this guy and getting away from him. By the way, if you are able to go through all of these steps to disentangle your text obsessed brain, he will eventually notice. His ego stroke is gone. It may take a few months. He might finally text you up out of curiosity because he has an uncanny way of sensing that you are moving on.
Hopefully at that point you won’t fall back into becoming his ego stroke non-girlfriend. You’ll actually say if you want to talk call me. He likely won’t call you figuring it will be too much work and he doesn’t like you all that much anyways otherwise he wouldn’t be where he is at right now. Your guy might realize he lost a cushion that he had and he might think about you and wonder if you’re worth him actually putting out an effort for. Sadly, because of your ego-stroking non-girlfriend established status, he can probably never be able to garner enough actual respect for you to really make an effort. That is why freak relationships rarely become normal. It’s just hard to get something onto the right track that was so much on the wrong track. At least you will remove yourself from getting yourself used further. You’ll slowly get your self respect back over time. You will also have the ability to exercise texting self control in future relationships since you now know its pathetic behavior. If he gets off his lazy communication bu-t and shows up for real you can be pleasantly surprised. Just don’t hold your breath much less sit staring at your phone wishing for it to ring.