If he tells you he doesn’t want a girlfriend … Run

If he tells you he doesn’t want a girlfriend … Run girl.   It stands to reason that after a few weeks or months of dating a man you will wonder just where your relationship stands.  This is especially true if you notice that he does not call you regularly, date you regularly, initiate or respond regularly and/or continues to be actively pursuing women through the use of an online dating profile or other means.

If you have not talked about your status and he hasn’t brought the status up either, rest assured that you are not in a relationship at all.  And you are 100% not in an exclusive or monogamous relationship of that you can be sure.  At some point you might not repress it any further and you may out yourself and press him about the status of your relationship.

At that point many men will have some pat excuses for telling you that they won’t commit while leaving on opportunity to continue to use you if you allow it.  They might claim that they told themselves they would not get into a committed relationship until this, that or the other thing happens.  Where this, that, or the other thing could be a getting over past girlfriend excuse, wanting to have fun excuse, it is too soon excuse, or needing to establish career or finances excuse.  Whatever the excuse is, he will have one handy.

If he announces either directly, or indirectly via evasive responses such as lets not define it or I take things one day at a time, that he does not have any interest in a relationship, take that seriously!  You are not going to be the one woman who convinces him that he needs to change his mind and he will not change his mind.  He has already decided with this answer that he is simply not going to get into a relationship with you.  Trust me he is ready for a relationship with somebody, but not you.

When he openly declares his commitment to remain single you must take that seriously.  It does not matter if he sleeps with you, keeps up plans with you, acts like a boyfriend every once in a while to string you along, or throws you a bone right before you really get over him just to suck you back in.  He will not become your boyfriend, ever.  If you continue to see him he will bear no responsibility for your emotional well-being and when you finally flip out over your non-relationship status he will use the I told you I didn’t want a girlfriend excuse and slip out of your life without a care in the world, blaming it on your freak out.

Don’t let the butterflies fool you

The bigger the butterflies you have for a great looking man, the more you are open to being taken advantage of. Do not let the butterflies fool you.  Those flutters are going to keep you in the game with him, even if he is sending signals loud and clear that he is not going to become your boyfriend.  Women who are smitten by a man who is somewhat out of her dating league will hang in there with this man and accept poor treatment just to be with someone who is a fantasy type guy to her.

Remember to consider if the relation goes two ways.  There is nothing worse than scrabbling after an alpha guy who has no intention of being your boyfriend.  He is getting his hooks in and getting what he wants while you will be writhing in pain and contorting yourself as to how to get a guy that has no intention of committing anything to you other than a body part, to commit.

Relationships that are undefined and drifting, in that period of time before anyone brings up the status, will continue to drift along going nowhere.  Therefore, avoiding the confrontation about status does not a relationship make.  In fact, it merely prolongs the time you will get taken advantage of.   Since when did it become cool to get completely physical with a man, when it’s not cool to ask him if he is your boyfriend?  The so-called relationship talk is not the problem.  The fact that he does not wish to be in one, is. 

Time and time again it will be said: A man who likes you will have zero, zero, zero problem getting into a relationship with you, bringing you around his life and the people in his life, keeping plans, and spending his time with you.  The next time you text him on Monday asking how his weekend was while you sat home, just realize that you weren’t a part of his weekend because he simply did not want you to be. 

It’s harsh but it really benefits to know that the entire why doesn’t he text me storyline has a theme. The theme is, because he did not want to.  The summary is, he is not your boyfriend and likely never will be.  These red flags are so obvious, yet when you are really smitten with a man, all rational thinking seems to just fly out the window.

He doesn’t want a girlfriend


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