If I am not his girlfriend now, will I ever be?

Are you dating someone and wondering where it is heading?  Are you asking yourself if he won’t commit to being my boyfriend now, will he ever?  Women so often miscalculate their guys interest level by jumping to conclusions about the dating relationship they have.

You’ll know if you are his girlfriend after three months of dating because it will be obvious in the way he acts and treats you

Here is a simple rule of thumb to follow.  If you have been seeing a guy for three months or more, and he’s not calling you his girlfriend, you probably will never be his girlfriend.  Obviously this is just boyfriend/girlfriend commitment and not marriage, but important nonetheless.  Boyfriend/girlfriend status predicts commitment down the road way more successfully than just having dating somebody casually.

He will string you along and delay things if he does not want you as his girlfriend. The relationship will not progress

Men will often date someone and feel comfortable with things going along as they are, without wanting to necessarily call someone their girlfriend.  A girlfriend implies three important things.  The first is that he is not dating other people, and the second is that he is not intimate with other people.  The third is that his is coming out with you and will bring you around his friends and let you into his inner life.  These are key for moving a dating situation towards a real relationship where you are out as his girlfriend.

If a man doesn’t want you to become his girlfriend but sees that you are starting to have that expectation, he will do things to sabatoge the relationship.  He will become busy, he will have excuses, he will treat you poorly, pick fights or otherwise slow down or grind progress to a halt.  If you feel alot of on/off hot/cold and and go, head scratching, conversation avoidance, dating others, and just ambiguity in the relationship, its not indicative of a promising boyfriend and girlfriend status or potential.

If you aren’t sure it is going towards boyfriend/girlfriend then it is probably going nowhere. When you are his girlfriend you don’t have to wonder

It is so sad because in the Internet dating age, women will date and date a guy and have no clue where it is going.  They think it is leading to a boyfriend/girlfriend status but they aren’t sure.  Let me assure you that if you aren’t sure then you are pretty much going nowhere.  Here is why.  Men know when there is a girl they want as a girlfriend.  They instinctively know it, and they know it sooner rather than later.

If you are girlfriend material in his mind he is going to treat you totally differently than someone he is just randomly dating on a casual basis.  He will get off of Internet dating for you and expect you to do the same.  He will stop seeing other people for you and expect the same.  He will talk to you and see you regularly and care about your life.  He will want you in his company to do little things like errands, shopping, and day to day life stuff.  You’ll be invited for example if his friends throw a barbecue.  You will feel like you are “in” not left out of what he thinks and does.

Don’t let busy lives and delay tactics fool you into thinking that a go-nowhere relationship will go somewhere

Because of Internet dating and especially when you are a single parent with a custody schedule it can be really hard to schedule time to date somebody.  This can slow things down.  If you are only seeing him every other weekend and even then things come up on some of those, your dating phase can stretch out so far as a year even though you aren’t getting together all that much.  Women tend to develop an illusion therefore that they are in a relationship because the guy is still coming around.  Usually however, they really aren’t.  They are just dating somebody.

If he is your boyfriend, he makes you part of his life

If he really wants you to be his girlfriend it will be radically and blatantly obvious that you are.  In fact, if you are even wondering if you are, you aren’t.  Be rational and don’t let delay tactics snow-blind you.  If you are his girlfriend you will be hanging out with him, his friends, his family, and where he goes there will usually be a spot for you to go along.  If you are not his girlfriend, he will just be passively seeing you with little or not interest in the future of the relationship.  He won’t care where its leading and he won’t be vying for your time either.  His life is going to be happening without you and you’ll feel like an outsider looking in.

If he is your boyfriend he will talk with you on the phone, go to movies and even go along with girly things that include holiday and birthday plans

Men can passively date and even enjoy a woman and enjoy intimacy with a woman.  But just because he’s seeing you doesn’t mean you are his girlfriend.  If a man meets a woman who knocks his socks off, he is going to pretty much drop everything.  He’s going to get off Internet dating, start seeing her for extended periods of time on the weekend, and he is going to show her off.  He is going to introduce you to people as his girlfriend if you are his girlfriend. If you invite him to a party or reunion he will go because you want him to. 

Men really know when the want a woman to be a bonafide girlfriend.  If they have not expressed such interest after three months or more of dating, they likely never will.  It is something that hits them hard from the very beginning and drives a relationship a certain way.  If its casually dragging along, its a lot less likely to get serious.  God if only women could realize this, they would save themselves so much wasted time, energy and heartache.

It’s ten times easier to leave a guy because he doesn’t seem particularly devoted in the first couple of months, than after a couple of years.  If you feel like you are moving heaven and earth to get girlfriend status, consider opting out.  I can tell you clear as day when I speak to my male friends who Internet date they refer to women as people they are dating or people who they are meeting, or people they are getting to know.   Internet dating is very, very casual to them and these people are merely random aquaintances.

But when they meet someone they really like for real, a mans whole persona changes. It’s like they turn from a wandering dating sleeze talking about people they are seeing, into a girl worshipper.  They extol the virtues of this particular girl they’ve met and sound like babies when babbling about her.   They essentially become like obsessed chicks gossiping and mentally torturing themselves.  They talk her up and care about when they are seeing her and what they will be doing.  It’s a light and day difference how they talk about her verses someone they are casually seeing.

Men go gaga over their girlfriends but merely exist with girls they are casually dating

Another thing is that if she is girlfriend material she will hold some sort of magic key that makes him willing to kick himself out of the dating thing.  He wants to stop dating because he is so interested in getting to know her.  She makes him almost want to become docile and he also becomes willing to do things like have long phone conversations.  Men don’t do that with a casual girl they are dating but they will for a girlfriend potential.

If you want to know if you are his girlfriend, look at how he is acting.  If he sees you as a girlfriend he will be all over you, he will be initiating contact, he will be inviting you to go water-skiing if his friends are going or to his friends house to watch a game.  If you are upset he will actually want to talk to you and know why.  It will be completely and utterly obvious he is into you.  He will introduce you as his girlfriend.  If you don’t feel these things happening, assume you aren’t his girlfriend.  Don’t wait, wish, think, hope or delude yourself.  You are just someone he is dating unless it is clearly stated that you are with him. 

Naivety is good except for the situation of casual dating.  You could be naive and think that someone is going somewhere with you but fabricate excuses that its just moving slowly, when it really isen’t moving at all.  If you find yourself making excuses as to why your relationship hasn’t progressed then it probably won’t progress.  Progress in a boyfriend/girlfriend situation is totally obvious.  You’ll be smack on his lap in a public face-book profile photograph if you are his girlfriend.  Trust me, you will be in like Flynn and you’ll know it. 

Don’t let relationships drag on if they aren’t really going anywhere

If the non-girlfriend feeling continues even after the relationship has been going a while, it might be time to evaluate whether you are wasting your time seeing him.  If he shows little interest in your future sorry to say, he just isen’t interested in a future with you.  Lastly, if you are his girlfriend you are going to know it.  He is going to be present whether it be Valentine’s day, birthday, or dealing with a crisis by your side.  Unfortunately, the women who know this to be true are the ones that have been strung along before and learned their lesson the hard way not to stay in an undefined dating situation. 

If you are his girlfriend you are going to know it after just a couple months of dating. If you are not his girlfriend after a few months of dating him and getting to know him, the chances are slim that you will ever be.  Hopefull now you will be able to answer your own question.  So, are you his girlfriend?


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