If your EX texts you saying “I miss you” that means that the other person they tried to replace you with failed
Did your ex dump you in order to start seeing someone else only to come crawling back after it did not work out? If this has happened to you then think twice before taking your ex back.
Allowing him (or her) to learn that they could walk out for another opportunity then come back when it doesn’t work out is a very bad thing. What happens is that you become a doormat. Your ex learns that they can come and go and that you will always take them back and forgive them. If it happens one time it will happen again, and maybe even repeatedly.
Don’t take an ex back with open arms
Never take an ex back with open arms. If you do and they leave again it can lead to a cyclical on and off relationship where you are the one getting string along and ultimately hurt. Do not underestimate the truth of their actions. They had no problem leaving you for a better looking opportunity.
They were willing to callously cross you out of their life to take a chance on someone new. They were throwing their hat in with the new man or woman. Seeing as most relationships do not work out, their new relationship may not last. That however does not mean that they really miss you all that much. If they really cared they would not have left you high and dry. But leave they did. Just because it didn’t work out doesn’t mean some epic thing like you and he (or she) are meant to be. All it means is that they moved on with someone new and had no problem hurting you in order to do so. That certainly is not an act of love.
In the grand scheme of things, it means they dumped you in favor of someone else and things did not work as planned in their new relationship. This has nothing to do with you. Their text saying they miss you doesn’t mean all that much. They may be wallowing in their own self pity and in seek of an ego boost or maybe even a little shag. Don’t give in to them. They dumped you unceremoniously and should not be welcomed back with open arms.
Don’t take an ex back unless the ex is genuine
If you are considering taking an ex back after such a totally rotten move on their parts, you need a plan. First of all, a measly poor text saying they miss you is just an opener and a weak one at that. If they really cared, they would pick up the phone and call you. If you love this person you can respond but respond only, don’t jump back into a reunion. And definitely don’t discuss your relationship on text message.
The last thing you want to do is to miss your ex so badly that you just fall into the sack with them the first chance you get when they rear their ugly heads into your life once again. This is a fatal mistake. It will solve nothing and it will perpetuate your status as fallback girl/backup guy and doormat.
I think you can tell when an ex is coming from a genuine place. If they are genuine they will quickly move from text, to phone call and getting together. They will let you know in no uncertain terms that they miss you and that they want to make things work and try again. These are the minimum requirements. Never take an ex back unless they are coming from a genuine place and are interested in making the effort to make an exclusive relationship with you work.
If your ex really wants to try again they will be more than willing to hash through what went wrong and to go about setting some new guidelines that will help create a fresh start. Barring a genuine effort, getting back with a ex is a bad idea. If no discussion or plan is made, you will likely be assuming a booty call girl position with nothing solved. They will use you until your next replacement comes along. If they aren’t genuine, you are wasting your time talking to or talking about getting back with them.
The only way you should get back is with new and clear boundaries
If it didn’t work before it won’t work again, especially if neither of you changes. Even it you do change, you both may slide back into bad patterns of behavior so there is a chance it will go good for a while then back slide into the same pit of problems. This is why you must be committed to changing.
If you take an ex back you should not be tolerant of boundary crossing. Blown off dates, cancelled plans, no call backs, silent treatment and disappearance acts are all big no-no’s and signs that the commitment is not there on their end. Make an ex jump through some hoops and re-establish trust with you in order to move forward. That means holding off on physical involvement until your ex is acting trustworthy again.
If its not going to be a relationship, its not worth going back to
Never get back with an ex whose primary interest is in sex. If this person can’t go in the light of day with you, talk about real life with you, spend daylight time doing things together from fun dates to running errands, and bring you around his or her friends and family, then steer clear.
An I miss you text is nice, but its just the beginning. Just because they texted you in a lonely minute doesn’t mean much if anything. After-all, they decided to ditch you and take their chances elsewhere which is a much louder statement than a text. They thought the wild west was a better frontier to explore than you were. They rejectied you in a radical way. So before you jump for joy over an I miss you text, realize it is a long way from something that should inspire you to take another chance with your heart.
Use that I miss you text as an opportunity to explore whether you would be willing to try again with this person. Don’t jump back in too quickly or without taking plenty of time to explore how getting back together would go. If their effort is not sincere, genuine and real, then its not really worth your time.
If they start with a text and try to work back into an intimate relation with little or no discussion, it is a no-go. Don’t even go there with an ex who stabbed you in the back. If on the other hand, they start with a text then continue by telling you that they genuinely love you, miss you and want to try again, and follow through with those words with their actions, then consider giving the relationship another chance. Go slowly and make sure they act like a boyfriend (or girlfriend). You don’t need to be used as a rebound or fallback for anyone, especially if that anyone has repeatedly back-stabbed you in the past.
The I miss you text
|
