Is it prince charming or a sweetheart swindle? If he is too good to be true, beware!

You might have heard of a sweetheart swindle where a handsome man weasels his way into a women’s life claiming romance but underneath it all he’s out for occasional nookie and even financial gain.  Granted, the true con men is the one who would take you for your money and play with your emotions using a well executed swindle routine.  But its not just the hard core con men you need to look out for these days.  It’s the little guy too.  The one that is playing con or playing around online with women just for sport, that can hurt you just as easily. 

While not every sweetheart hunk you meet online is a scam artist, women should know that the anonymity of the Internet dating creates and maybe even breeds all sorts of flavors, variations and incantations of scammers, players, gigolos, and users.  It truly is a jungle out there on the internet dating sites and ladies don’t forget it.

Gigolo or Wanna-Be Gigolo/Player

Internet dating can really become the kid in the candy store situation for men.  A man that is perfectly happy playing the field and particularly a handsome one, can wreak havoc in women’s lives through his online dating antics.  Women need to be careful before falling head over heels for a new man they met on line.  They need to realize the aftermath.  The aftermath is what happens after you’ve been romanced.  A gigolo might be after gifts support and some intermittent sex and that’s it.   After he initially romances you he has no intention of getting really involved in your life.

How are you going to feel when phone calls turn to texts then to nothing at all.  What happens after you’ve been intimate for the first time only to wake up and find that he’s posted new photographs on his dating profile or updating his bio.  I know many people that have had this very thing happen to them.  Being hurt is a problem therefore extend your trust slowly and gradually.  Trust is earned.

Every one wants to be loved and men can get an ego thrill over meeting all different types of women on the Internet dating.  It’s like Internet dating has leveled the playing field for men.  Just like a gorgeous girl has plenty of options, a gorgeous man has plenty of options now too.  If you haven’t had attention in a while and suddenly Mr Perfect drops out of the Internet you have to exercise caution.  Every one wants to feel loved and you could fall prey to getting your ego boosted.

If Mr gorgeous is creating instant romance and rushing things along with you then it is time to step back.  Is he texting you naughty messages 10 messages into knowing you?  You don’t know what rock he crawled out from under.  Women tell me all the time how they get unsolicited private part photos and texts from men they hardly know.  You give your cell number out to someone online, he can send you a text and a photo no problem. 

A Lothario con artist knows how to worm his way into women’s lives using romance to do it.  He might buy you some flowers, take you on a few dates and then have a candle light dinner with you.  Before you know it after a few dates you are in bed with him.  Your desire to be loved and feel that wonderful chemistry is overwhelming.

If you fall in love fast and hard you aren’t just setting yourself up for heartache.  For one thing, this man may be executing the same playbook on woman after woman or at the least more women then you.  If he sweeps you off your feet the chances are he knows he is doing it and has developed skills on many women before you.  Once he gets you emotionally dependent on him then the relationship becomes one sided.  He holds all the cards and can drop in and out of your life as he wants to.

While you’re waiting with baited breath he might figure out that he can get free gifts or other perks from you.  Your need for physical loving will give him ideas about how to take advantage.  He might be a real gigolo or he might just become one because you are available to be taken advantage of.  Try not to extend your self finanically to someone you don’t really know thouroughly.

Beware of Flowers followed by requests for Favors

Getting flowers are great but it’s not so much the flowers you need to worry about it’s what happens after the flowers.  If your handsome hunk buys you flowers and soon after is asking you for favors then beware.  The flowers may be part of the scam.  You get flowers and lots of phone calls and love then suddenly he needs a quick loan because his paycheck got delayed.  Or Disneyland Tickets.  Or a TV or new mattresses, whatever. The point is that when gifts are followed by requests it may signify a setup.  Be wary about doing financial favors for people you hardly know.

If he hasn’t earned your trust don’t give yours.  Don’t fall for new business venture proposals.  Don’t give him short term loans even if you get it in writing because if he flakes you may never be able to track him down.  Never make a big financial investment in a new man or a man you don’t trust.  That way if you do get had, you won’t be losing much.  In fact, losing a little will teach you very quickly that this is not a person you can trust with anything substantial.

For anything substantial, do a Background Check

Is your lover boy trying to move in, rent an apartment with you or buy something with both your names on it?  Be careful.  If you feel like you are not trusting your lover boy you can always do a background check on him.  Women have great gut instincts and intuition so if you’re having doubts about his intentions your fears might be valid. Honestly, a background check is pretty radical and invasive but can help women who are truly gullible better protect their assets.  The safest thing to do is act conservatively and never risk that much investment financial or otherwise until someone is really woven into your life and you’ve known them for a long time.  If you give some one twenty bucks and they never repay it, you have not lost much and you’ve learned about their character.

So sorry that this blog post can be against men or a man-hater post.  But the fact is that Internet dating, text message relationships and the of indirect electronic ways that people meet and communicate gets crazy.  It can really be a jungle.  You want to minimize the consequences of loss both emotional and financial.  Be 100% certain you can count on someone before getting into any kind of bed (either physically or financially) with them.  Trust me you will sleep better at night. Even a man who romances you but wasn’t ever intending to get serious with you can break your heart. Imagine how you’ll feel if he takes advantage of your generosity. You’ll feel upset.

Never make business deals or sign loans or make your identify information available to someone new in your life.  This economy is so horrible that people will always be tempted to take advantage.  If you are super generous someone can pick up on that and start to take advantage of you.  Therefore trust someone and give them the benefit of the doubt without putting too much of yourself into it financially or emotionally.  Look at the small things like if this person makes you a promise does he keep it?  Learn the slow way if he is a man of his word.

Don’t get involved with any of the run of the mill scams like people out of the country asking for money and so forth.  Those are the obvious ones to detect and women still fall for them.  Men fall for such scams too.  That’s why you should stick to people in your area.  If they’ve never shown you to their friends or taken you to their house they might be trying to keep you left out their life on purpose so that can use you and conveniently bail out at any time.  All they have to lose is being forced to ignore your phone calls or texts until you go away.

If someone texts and emails too long without ever meeting you be leery of that.  Married men, or men that use phony modeling pictures might get on the Internet dating sites to have some demented fun and play pose as someone else.  If they don’t want to meet you in a safe public place after a few conversations, blow them off.  Hopefully these little tidbits will give women things to watch out for – those red flags.  And that would be the last piece of advice is to not ignore red flags.


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