Is your boyfriend cheating

Do you suspect your boyfriend of cheating on you? 

Women’s intuition

Women’s intuition is a very powerful thing.  Usually there are slight changes in the emotional state of your relationship and women are keen to pick up on these changes.  Most women will have some gut level suspicions about cheating.  Some, are totally shell shocked when they discover there is someone else.

The chances are that if your suspect your boyfriend of cheating he might indeed be up to some suspicious activity.  The common sense thing to do would be to merely ask your boyfriend directly if there is something going on.  Cheaters though, often lie.   If he doesn’t want you to know about his possible extracurricular activities, a cheater will often make you think you’re crazy or jeolous and deny any wrong doing when confronted. 

Cell phone monitoring software

The old school way of spying and snooping is to surreptitiously gain access to your boyfriends cell phone when he leaves it unattended.  For example, when he uses the restroom or gets distracted.   A cheater will usually be careful to erase evidence such as text messages but if you catch them off guard you might see the texts or ingoing outgoing calls. 

A more high technology way of monitoring your boyfriends cell phone activities is to install software such as Mobile Spy on his cell phone.  This software will allow you to snoop the messages your boyfriend is sending and receiving and the people with whom he is communicating.

Mobile spy software once installed on a smart phone usually runs silently as a process and duplicates SMS recordings, text messages, call details, web urls visited and logs a summary of activity.  This data is then automatically uploaded to a password protected site where the information can be reviewed by you.

Cell phone spying is probably not a good idea

The scary thing about this situation is that if you are caught red handed snooping his phone and especially if you are cought installing or performing surveillance of his phone it would be considered a major violation of his privacy.  It can also set off a nasty fight between the two of you.

Surveillance on a boyfriend will undoubtedly result in a breakup

It’s questionable how good of an idea it is to install spy software or snoop your boyfriends phone.  This will usually anger your boyfriend so much that whether his is cheating or not he will break up with you over the violation of his privacy.  It may even set off a legal battle between the two of you, or threats of legal action.

Some women just need to know that they’ve been deceived in order to break up and move on with their lives.  Particularly when their boyfriend tried to convince them that they were paranoid or crazy, they just need to confirm that yes there was cheating, and no their suspicions weren’t crazy.  If you are so suspicious that you are willing to install surveillance software and cross privacy boundaries, your relationship was probably on its last legs anyways.

Proper etiquette is not to snoop your boyfriends phone no matter how tempting.  Even though your gut instincts of something wrong are probably valid, it is not worth turning yourself into a snoop to confirm it.  Obviously the best thing is to ask your boyfriend if there issues in your relationship.  If he denies it and you are still suspicious, you can put your thinking camp on and be more focused on the relationship.  Cheating often happens when one partner is distracted or generally ignoring the other.  Focus on your relationship more and you may get to the bottom of things in an organic way such as talking or spending more time together.

Hiring a private investigator, using voice activated tape recorders, or installing home or cell phone surveillance software to spy on your boyfriend are all rather extreme measure and considered very poor relationship etiquette.  There are milder forms of snooping that are still bad, but more socially acceptable.  You could fish for information using word of mouth, check out his public social profiles, check for profiles on the dating sites, and focus on spending more time together to gain confirmation that yes he is cheating. 

Do not violates someones privacy

If you want to salvage your relationship it is recommended not to become a home grown spy or cross personal boundaries by spying.  How would you like it if someone read all of your emails and text messages?  Such intrusions of privacy are more likely to ignite arguments than do anything constructive.   You may want to watch some television such as the show Cheaters to get a vicarious thrill without doing anything wrong yourself. Once you see cheaters confronted and the nasty way that these relationship end you might think twice about spying. Read self-help books and talk to your closest friends for advice and ideas on how to best handle the situation.

If you really think your boyfriend is cheating you could even suggest seeing a counselor with him or go get professional advice on how to best handle your situation.  You may even need to break it off with him for a period of time before things are able spiral out of control to the point of you becoming a suspicious spy.  If you have any interest in preserving a relationship with this person than consider your options very carefully before taking action.

Another important consideration is that depending on your state and where you live, spying on someones phone or computer might also be a violation of federal and state laws.  If his cell phone is sitting on the counter and he’s out of the room and a text message comes in from a girlfriend then OK. But installing software on his phone? That is taking it to a whole new level. Are you sure you want to go there?


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