When a man (or woman) stops texting and contacting you, sometimes the best move/response on your part is no move at all. If he quits texting just be unresponsive about it, and don’t even bother to text him to ask what’s up.
The best move is no move
Well if you search the web for men’s web sites and look for dating tips you will uncover articles that advise men how to pick up women more effectively. You’ll find articles that teach basic seduction skills to men, and they are going to be telling you pretty much the same thing as I am. The best move is no move, that means no texting. Why? Because it works. It works for men, and it works for women too. Let’s go through how to execute the no move, move on your partner. Think about the advice, then consider using it when you feel like your man is blowing you off. When he disappears missing in action and you feel really hurt and are tempted to start text messaging him like crazy, don’t. Instead, do nothing.
Law of scarcity game that men play
If your boyfriend has two choices, one of which is to let you think he has seen you too much, and one of which is to let you think he has seen you too little, which one will he choose? If he reads all those sites on seduction and the game, he is going to want to choose the latter. That works better for him because he’d rather have you missing him than sick of him. Even though your boyfriend knows he should get in touch with you and respond to your text messages, he doesn’t want to come off as too available. In fact, he wants to evade the obligation, have you desperately miss him and feel insecure, have you pining, wondering and lusting after him, and meanwhile conveniently avoid slip sliding closer to commitment with you. Double whammy. He wins!
If you were to text message your boyfriend and he didn’t respond, you know how you feel. You sit there and start obsessing. And it makes you want to text him more. It makes your whirl around in your mind whether you are losing him and why is he ignoring you and what you are doing wrong. You get mad but at the same time you long for him to respond. Guess what, he ignored you and you’re thinking about him constantly now. And thinking about him and having insecure feelings and wanting and needing him all add up to be very close to one thing and that is attraction. And ladies guess what? Strong attraction is exactly what your boyfriend wants you to feel. So he opts on the side of playing the game. I have news which is that it can work both ways. You can apply the same tactic on him.
You may wonder why in the world should I play games. I just want a real relationship and don’t believe in head games. I just want to write him a long letter or a bunch of texts telling him how much it bothers me that he is ignoring me and not texting much less calling me. I want to tell him that it bothers me when he is not responding. I want to be honest and tell him how much I care and how much it hurts my feelings. Relationship blithering whining. Your guy probably does not want to hear your whining and complaining but won’t mind having you malleable and insecure groveling at his feet so he can be in total control of your relationship.
Insecurity and attraction are quite closely tied in with one another and your man probably knows it. If he ignores you a little bit and makes you feel insecure then you are going to be pining and obsessing and to a certain extent chasing after him and more desperate to hear from him and guess what more attracted. So if you say something he doesn’t like or start prying into his business he’ll give you the old silent treatment to throw you off the scent and get you worried about that he might leave instead. He’s establishing a don’t nag with me or I’ll be gone insecurity in you. Look at a woman who is insecure about her guy and she will likely be a person that is insanely attracted to that same guy.
If you find yourself feeling insecure and needy while he is ignoring you and pursuing other options, why don’t you set him on a reverse tailspin. Just start ignoring him back, mutually. If he says something you don’t like, go mute. If he finally texts you, don’t bother to text him back. Or text him back much, much later when you are good and ready to or feel like it. Stop feeling any sort of responsibility to him whatsoever because it’s not a game, he is already doing it to you. He is ignoring you, so give him what he needs back which is you ignoring him. At first he’ll think that you are being really good and trying really hard not to bother him all the time with your texts. But pretty soon he will realize that you are sending him a very clear message. The message is that you aren’t going to chase him, and oh yeah by the way, you deserve a phone call.
Don’t be falling for his games
Have you ever had a promising boyfriend that disappeared on you and you just went over and over in your mind why he was dropping away? You might have literally spent days worrying about whether you did something wrong. Your temptation is to brush it under the rug and chase after him, calling him, asking him if everything is okay to reassure yourself. You might start to apologize for things you didn’t even do. You might say sorry for nothing you did wrong just as another excuse to call him up. Are you mad at me? I’m sorry. Well don’t. If he is ignoring you then he doesn’t need the pleasure of knowing that you have spent days and weeks worrying about whether and when he was going to call. He doesn’t need to know that you were staring at your cell phone willing it to beep, and obsessing over how long its been.
The nice thing for a man to do if he likes you, is to call you and keep in touch. He might decide, however, that he doesn’t want to be that available or easy to get in touch with. He might not feel like writing you some texts attempting to be funny about nothing. He doesn’t want to come off like he is trying that hard. So he reads up on some seduction and dating advice for men and he figures out oh well I’ll just be a bit sketchy and out of her reach so that she is more attracted to me as an alpha male. In a way, he’ll be right. Women are attracted to men that are just out of their reach and unobtainable. Of course women only fall for that for so long before they don’t care anymore and reach a threshold where they just want a reliable man they can depend on. Just know that all a man needs to play you is a big enough window of time for you to be so infatuated and swept up that you aren’t thinking smart. If he plays his game of initial hide and seek well you just might fall for his game.
The seduction and attraction advice your boyfriend is getting is that if they don’t feel like contacting you or getting together with you then they shouldn’t. If they don’t feel like responding to a text because the text you sent is useless, then they shouldn’t. If they don’t feel like calling you when they are supposed to then they shouldn’t. If you say something they don’t like, then they go silent for a while. In other words, the advice to men is to be your own person and not feel obligated to act a certain way. If you see this type of game playing behavior coming out of your man then whatever you do, don’t go chasing after him. Do what he is doing instead. It might mean not seeing him as much since you are now just as unavailable as he is, but it is worth it. No matter what he is doing you need to establish your own boundaries. And a man that is attempting to act hot and cold, flaky, distant, playing silent treatment games, or just plain blowing you off should understand that you aren’t waiting like a doormat for him when he does decide to blow hot and show up.
He needs to understand that you and your schedule counts too. It’s really not game playing it’s a matter of not tolerating dismissive behavior from him and letting him know you’re onto his games. What you will end up with is a boyfriend that actually respects you, or a boyfriend that leaves you because he wasn’t serious enough to take you seriously. At least you won’t have a boyfriend that walks all over you, uses you, and gets away with it because that sets a precedent for you being miserable and treated poorly. Being alone is no fun but it is actually better than tacitly allowing yourself to be treated poorly, dismissively and as though you are expendable and easily replaced.
You’ll get so paranoid from a relationship where a man isn’t treating you right that you could emotionally damage yourself up for years, I am not kidding. Bottom line you need to protect your own emotional state and have good boundaries. The better standards you have for the way you wish to be treated the better you will be treated.
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